I don't see how I can do this!!!

 I am seriously considering canceling my surgery for Aug. 22.  I need a healthier life but my life is in turmoil right now. I have NO one.  I am basically by myself.  I am married but that is one big issue all by itself that is too long to go into. I will have no help from anyone and I have an 8 year old to take care of.  How can I go in the hospital and then I could have conplications or what if I don't come back then who will my daughter have????   Not to mention my surgery might get canceled anyways cause I have a UTI that doesn't want to go away even after being on 2 rounds on antibotics, I mean wtf why am I still infected???    Also for the last few weeks after I eat I get a weird sensation the the left side of my chest below my breast the best way I can describe is a popping in my chest when I take a breath.  It doesn't hurt but I notice it happens after I eat, what could this be.  I have so much piled up right now and I think I'm gonna completely lose it. This is twice I have gotten so close and now I am lost, I feel so low right now and I have no one to turn to.  Thanks for listening. Kerry 

Whatever you do, do NOT cancel.  I am sure you will be fine and hopefully they will give you a stronger medication to get rid of the UTI so they do not cancel on their end.  You are so close to your new life, don't let it pass by. 

YOU ARE SO CLOSE DONT TURN BACK GIVE FAITH A CHANCE.EVERY THING WILL BE JUST FINE.WHAT YOU MAY BE ABLE TO CONTROL OR NOT IT WILL WORK IT SELF OUT IT ALWAYS DOES.GOD HAS BROUGHT YOU TO BRIDGE CROSS IT.ND PLEASE SPEAK WITH YOUR PCP CONCERING ANY HEALTH ISSUES YOU ARE HAVING PLEASE.I AM ALWAYS HERE IF YOU NEED TO TALK

Hello Kerry,
           First of all please take a deep breath.  I to worried about being alone.  I am single and live alone. You have all of us here on OH...We may not live next door, but trust me, we are here to talk to everyday !!!! Dont worry, they will get the UTI problem solved.  You can always post pone a week or to if you feel you need to.  I know that all of these things combined together seem so overwelming.  Just try and take it one day at a time.
Trust in your surgeon, that they would not operate if they thought that you were a surgical risk.  Try and go in with a positive thoughts.
Please feel free to add me as a friend.  I will be hear to talk to whenever you need it...

talk to you soon.

Jane

Kerry,

I'm so sorry that you're going through all of this.  It's really gotta suck!  Ofcourse, this is your decision to make but before you decide to cancel your surgery, think about a few things...

First, if you're going through an insurance company they may only let you submit for surgery authorization up to three times.  You may decide to postpone your surgery, but you at least want to make sure you're not completely giving up the opportunity.

I'm sure you're seeing your doctor about the UTI.  I suggest that you call the doctor's office tomorrow and let them know that you need to get rid of this thing (surgery or not) and need something different and/or some advice.  Perhaps the stress, something that you're eating/not eating or doing/not doing is contributing to the infection not leaving your body.  If the UTI doesn't get resolved, then your decision is made for you, but you should try your best to get it taken care of regardless of surgery.

If you've done your homework about VSG and you've researched your surgeon and he is reputable, you shoudl know that the mortality rate for this surgery is extremely low.  It is highly unlikely that you won't come back to your daughter after surgery.  I've seen plenty of people on OH who have had this surgery and had to go home to take care of two, three, or more small children; I'm sure you'll be able to handle taking care of your daughter.  Heck, my niece is 7 1/2 and she would ask my sister if she could come over and take care of me!  In the long run, your being thinner and healthier is going to be better for your daughter.  You'll be able to keep up with her better, do fun things with her, be a good example for her, see her grow up and have children of her own.  Your obesity will surely not allow you to do all of that.

I'm sorry about the difficulties in your marriage and I do pray that things are resolved for the best.  However, don't let the situation with your husband prevent you from making a positive choice for yourself.  If anything, your rocky marriage should show you that you can only truly count on yourself.  Pick yourself up by the boot-straps and use this time of upheaval to turn things around for the better!  Be the strong woman that you know you can be!

Don't let "life" make this decision for you, make it yourself.

Good luck in whatever you decide. HUGS!!!!

Here's some tough love...hope you don't mind.  Seriously at your current weight with your current health and all the problems that go along with being morbidly obese how long do you see yourself being healthy enough to take care of your 8 year old before they have to take care of you?  A ****ty marriage...yep it totally sucks...I've got the t-shirt for that one.  You headed down this road to make yourself healthier for you and your child not anyone else.  Complications...yes they happen, but you could walk outside and have a heart attack because your unhealthy.  If your surgery gets cancelled then that's what's best for your health.  You will get better and then have surgery.  If your surgeon is a great doctor then they won't operate without thinking you will make it through surgery.  I know life is rough and sometimes you hit rock bottom and it feels like there is no where to turn, but there is...it's UP!  You have an entire extended family here on OH and I for one will do my best to stay in touch with you if you would like.  I know what it's like not to have anyone to talk to and to feel completely alone.  But I also know what it's like to find wonderful people who fill your life with positive love!  Keep your head up, take care of your UTI, keep your surgery date, and focus on you and the little one.  Recovery doesn't seem so horrific that you can't do this and take care of your child.  If I've learned anything from this site it's that OH will be there for you.  Good luck.

Kerry,
We are all here to support you! You will absolutely be fine! I have no doubt whatsoever as this is a very easy surgery! I have been through many very tough surgeries and this is not rough!
Your entire life will change! For the better! Your outlook will change too and as you progress, you will have energy you never thought you could ever have in your life! Your daughter will be so happy her MOMMY decided to help herself and be healthy!
Give yourself a giant hug from me and go forward!! You will not regret your decision!
xoxoxoxox Helen

Dont give up Kerry!!  You deserve this and are trying to make a better life with healthy choices  for you and for your child.  It is such a good thing that you have gotten this close. Lets look at this though.  What happened between the first and second times that you got this close?  Did your health improve?  Did your marriage improve?  Im gonna guess probably not.  You may not be like me, but when stress piles on I pile it on too.  Pray about it and then do this FOR YOU. I am not familiar with your situation, but it sounds like anxiety and fear and a lot of things outside of your control compounding into you giving up on yourself.  How did you feel after the first time the surgery was cancelled?  Were you happy about that decision?  Did you walk away from it and not look back? 

Dont walk away from something that could really change you and your childs life.   I think many people on here can relate to you feeling alone, but you're not!  Do it for you. Do it for your child.  Cry, rant, rave, moan, feel the fear of doing it alone and being alone, and do it anyhow.  I am rooting for you!!

You CAN do this. 

Oh how I wish I had done this as a young mother.  So many things my children, my husband, and I, myself, missed out over the years because of my weight.  Living a half a life isn't living, either.

As far as your health concerns over the UTI and popping sensation, get with your physician.  He/She can help you sort that out prior to surgery.

Best wishes!

It sounds like you really need to sit with the consequences of having this surgery and not having this surgery and truly contemplate the way that they would affect your (and your child's) life.  Strangers on the internet can't make this decision for you. 

It would be perfectly fine to post-pone your date until you are at a place where the decision is more clear to you.  One of the best life skills that I have ever learned is to not proceed with a decision until you can say a resounding "Hell Yes!" to it with every fiber of your being.  If you can't, then you need to sit with the information and process it until you come to that resounding decision.

This is a life-changing surgery and everyone on this board is gung-ho and ecstatic about being part of the process, but they don't know you and your issues.  You know if this is the right time for you to begin this massive overhaul of your life.  If you have business to attend to before you come to this step, it's okay to do that. 

Maybe you can call your insurance and ask how long your approval is good for.  Maybe you can ask your surgeon for a later date so you can find a counselor to help you work through this decision.  Maybe you're just having cold feet and a few minor doubts and surgery is the perfect thing for you now. 

Listen to your intuition.  You know you better than anyone else.

Best wishes in your journey,
Jami