Confession of a foolish action
It seems lately what helps me to get through this 2 wks of post-op liquids is cooking.
Hhmm...today, I was cooking for my family for the "game day" onion rings, potato balls croissant dogs... you get the jist.
Anyways, it was the potato balls... I tried one little bite, then two, then the third/final one.
I chewed til they were liquified before I swallowed. Before I knew it, I was full.
That was an hour ago. I physically feel fine. Mentally, not so much. I feel foolish because I'm suppose to be on liquids til Tues. And, they were potatoes AND they were fried!
I know that is the very no no to keep me fat. Not to mention, am I crazy??? Do I really want to mess up my sleeve and develop a leak??
I just keep thinking "I wish I could reverse what I've just done."
Well, thanks for listening.
Have a blessed one,
Susan
Hhmm...today, I was cooking for my family for the "game day" onion rings, potato balls croissant dogs... you get the jist.
Anyways, it was the potato balls... I tried one little bite, then two, then the third/final one.
I chewed til they were liquified before I swallowed. Before I knew it, I was full.
That was an hour ago. I physically feel fine. Mentally, not so much. I feel foolish because I'm suppose to be on liquids til Tues. And, they were potatoes AND they were fried!
I know that is the very no no to keep me fat. Not to mention, am I crazy??? Do I really want to mess up my sleeve and develop a leak??
I just keep thinking "I wish I could reverse what I've just done."
Well, thanks for listening.
Have a blessed one,
Susan
"Forget past mistakes. Forget failures. Forget everything except what you're going to do now and do it." William Duran
Everyone makes mistakes, the importance is to learn from this and go foward. I ate a cookie the other day and didn't stop unitl it was just crumbs. Living is learning and I learn something everyday. Forgive yourself but never forget this feeling and hopefully it won't happen again... Good luck!
HW:387#, CW: 341.7#, SW:326.5#, GW 180#...
SLEEVE SURGERY DATE AUGUST 9, 2011.....
Regardless if you chewed it until mu**** takes a lot more for your stomach to break this "potato ball" down. Your setting yourself up for failure and putting yourself in dangerous situations. I am sorry if this sounds rude I am just concerned and worried. Honestly my first thought was...WTF is she doing. Sorry if you were only looking for validation.
Nope, not looking for validation. That's why I called it a foolish action. I only posted this because first, maybe someone else has done the same or similar in the past and was ok. Second, hopefully others can learn from my mistakes. I know it was foolish and never to be done again. But, thanks for your response!
Have a blessed one,
Susan
Have a blessed one,
Susan
"Forget past mistakes. Forget failures. Forget everything except what you're going to do now and do it." William Duran
I agree with the above poster, but I thank you for your post. It is what I needed this morning. I'm sitting here 6 days post op, feeling great, and wanting food. Any food other than the kind I drink. I've looked at the chocolates my students bought me, the cheeze its on the counter, the pizza bites in the freezer....I've sat here and come up with ways to suck on these foods or to chew them so well they would be like liquid. I've rationalized in my head that this would be ok. I know its not. I know I didn't go through all of this major surgery and major pain to screw up. So, I will heat up my darn broth n love it while at the same time thanking you again for your post.
HW286/SW269/1mo-20lbs/2 mo-9lbs/3 mo-10lbs
1st Goal - Loss of 50lbs
1st Goal - Loss of 50lbs
And that is why I posted my screw up. So others can learn from my mistakes. Yes, confession does the heart good but, it's way to risky. So, enjoy that darn broth and I'll have me a cup too.
Have a blessed one,
Susan
Have a blessed one,
Susan
"Forget past mistakes. Forget failures. Forget everything except what you're going to do now and do it." William Duran
There are many things you COULD do...
You could beat yourself or continue to beat yourself up over what you've done.
You could wish over and over you hadn't done it.
You could accept that you could possibly even though you had the fore thought to SLICE and DICE your body that your an addict and your addiction COULD be food and not ever addicts walks tall and proud.
You COULD realize that while you aren't perfect you could LEARN from this experience and put things in place to STOP the behavior you are trying to stop.
You COULD remember why you had surgery to begin why. Why you ARE doing this and move forward from there...
Look back ONLY to learn and CHANGE
Ms Shell
You could beat yourself or continue to beat yourself up over what you've done.
You could wish over and over you hadn't done it.
You could accept that you could possibly even though you had the fore thought to SLICE and DICE your body that your an addict and your addiction COULD be food and not ever addicts walks tall and proud.
You COULD realize that while you aren't perfect you could LEARN from this experience and put things in place to STOP the behavior you are trying to stop.
You COULD remember why you had surgery to begin why. Why you ARE doing this and move forward from there...
Look back ONLY to learn and CHANGE
Ms Shell
"WLS is only for people who are ready to move past the "diet" mentality" ~Alison Brown
"WLS is not a Do-Over (repeat same mistakes = get a similar outcome.) It is a Do-BETTER (make lifestyle changes you can continue forever.)" ~ Michele Vicara aka Eggface
I'm having a strong reaction to your post because I recognize so much of myself in what you wrote. Good for you for posting, because I can be more of a secret eater, and it is very hard for me to be truthful when I have had an out-of-control episode. This seems like compulsive eating to me because I am a compulsive overeater myself. I am concerned that eating compulsively could really derail your progress, and put yourself at risk for failure or worse. Many of us struggle with this problem, and there *are* ways to work through these issues, but I find I have to take them very seriously.
For me, this is exactly what I mean when I say I have an addiction to food. When I first started Overeaters Anonymous, I didn't know what they meant by being "powerless over food." A few days later I bought a pound of M&Ms and suddenly I realized that being powerless meant once I started, I couldn't stop myself from eating them until they were all gone. Or I was sick, whichever came first.
I do not find the guilt and shame and remorse effective *at all.* What has helped me was using my fear of eating compulsively again to really admit the depth of my problem with food. I found it helpful to tell another person what I my food plan was for the day, and to commit to telling them *before* I deviated from the plan. If I could tell them I was going to eat a dozen Oreos, then I could have them. This wasn't the Army. I can lie to myself all day long about food. But I never wanted to call someone else up and tell them I was going to eat a dozen Oreos. So I'd say, tomorrow, if I really want them tomorrow, I guess I can have them.
Surgery has not taken away my addictive relationship with food, it's still something I have to be very vigilant about. It's just *way* easier in a lot of ways.
For me, this is exactly what I mean when I say I have an addiction to food. When I first started Overeaters Anonymous, I didn't know what they meant by being "powerless over food." A few days later I bought a pound of M&Ms and suddenly I realized that being powerless meant once I started, I couldn't stop myself from eating them until they were all gone. Or I was sick, whichever came first.
I do not find the guilt and shame and remorse effective *at all.* What has helped me was using my fear of eating compulsively again to really admit the depth of my problem with food. I found it helpful to tell another person what I my food plan was for the day, and to commit to telling them *before* I deviated from the plan. If I could tell them I was going to eat a dozen Oreos, then I could have them. This wasn't the Army. I can lie to myself all day long about food. But I never wanted to call someone else up and tell them I was going to eat a dozen Oreos. So I'd say, tomorrow, if I really want them tomorrow, I guess I can have them.
Surgery has not taken away my addictive relationship with food, it's still something I have to be very vigilant about. It's just *way* easier in a lot of ways.
:) Happy
53 yrs old, 5'6" HW: 293 ConsW: 273 SW: 263 CW: 206 
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