After the first paragraph, it's a rant!

This morning they drew 14 vials of blood.....NO exaggeration.  They also did an EKG -- they found a heart and it was beating...........hooray!!!  Next was the ultra sound on my gall bladder.  The Tech said I had a lovely gall bladder -- flattering comments like that pickle me tink LOL  There was also the obligatory chest ex-ray.  Tomorrow I'll do the pulmonary function test, see my surgeon for my pre-op appointment and then have my pre-op session with the nutritionist.....then I wait until Thursday afternoon for the formal slicing and dicing and meshing (for the hernia). 

I'm excited

I'm NOT excited about the lack of support from my mother.  All I'm hearing is about her last two surgeries and how they didn't do her a bit of good............these were NOT weight loss surgeries......GADS   Adding to this lack of support is the husband who has changed from being totally supportive to being a complete and total jerkwad.  All of a sudden my Type II and chronic kidney disease are both my fault because I am fat and I have never done anything to try to lose weight!  REALLY???   SERIOUSLY????   Yes, i know I'm yelling -- sorry.  I've been told by at least 5 doctors that I have the metabolism of a cadaver........but the husband has decided that since he has never seen me work hard enough to break a sweat that I just got fatter and fatter because I didn't care.  i guess he never saw me shoveling snow and doing all the freaking yard work because he was sitting on his skinny ass watching television.  Hard to see sweat when those mind-bending reruns are beaming into the brain.   GRRRRRRR  Plus, when you are borderline hypothyroid, sweating is a rarity.........or so I've been told.

Finally got fed up with his ranting and said his asthma was his fault for smoking all those years.  Guess what folks???  It's in his genetic makeup that caused his asthma.  BAH and El Toro Pooh Pooh!

Why is it that the two people who should be supporting me the most have turned out to be of no support or encouragement at all?  Am I that horrible a person that I deserve this?  Why, just for once, can't something be about ME instead of everyone else?

So, now that I'm supposed to be peaceful, calm and serene prior to having double surgery, I have nothing but stress and am in tears most of the time because i have no support to get me through the next few weeks.  i am not sure he will even take me to the hospital or pick me up once I'm released.  I think the surgeon's office can arrange rides for me.........and I think I will need home care as he has never taken care of me for any other surgeries or for the 2 c-sections i had.  I've always been able to take care of myself, but this time I think it will be different and I'm not sure I can do it alone.  One thing is for sure........I will not cancel these surgeries........he can.........ummmm........turn blue and rot before I'd cancel.

There's this tickler thing in my brain telling me that he might be afraid that if I lose weight, I will have an affair or leave him.  What..........I'm going to do that after 42 years of marriage?  Well, if he keeps up this kind of crap, he's going to find out that he made a self-fulfilling prophesy.

if you're still reading and survived my ranting and yelling, thank you.  Any  support/encouragement/advice will be greeted with a warm hug and a huge thank you.

 

 

 

oh my, we can exchange jerkwads and neither of us would know the difference!   I don't know how much the hernia adds, but you shouldn't need anyone to care for you after the surgery.  In the hospital I needed help to the bathroom, but that was only because they had to move the IV, undo the leg wraps, take off the blood pressure cuff....    Try your best to ignore them in your mind and stay calm.  I know its hard!   By the way, mine did take a day off work to take me to
the hospital and took me home the next day on his lunch hour.  I was shocked.

Well, that was an unexpected laugh!  I never thought about exchanging jerkwads -- would that be anything like "swinging"  LOL   Thanks so much
 

Ree

 

Sending a cyberhug your way! You deserve better. My surgery is Thursday also. Try to focus on the future and going forward to being a healthier you. Do you have any other friends or family that you can count on to care for you? Here's an odd suggestion to relax and destress that someone told me to do when I was so stressed out dealing with my unexpected divorce and the deaths of both my parents in the same year. (plus my basement flooded twice during that time) Anyway, I was told that touching the earth has a calming influence. So, I would walk on the grass or visit a garden or sit by the water somewhere where I was in direct contact with the earth, not through concrete or asphalt. Strangely, it worked! I was able to have some calm moments amidst absolute chaos, stress, and sadness. Two more days and we'll be sleeve sisters! Best wishes to you.

Thank you for that hug -- really does help. 

No family around at all.   Most of my friends have moved to retirement areas around the country, so no one I could ask for help.  I do have friends I can talk to on the phone or share e-mails and chat with, so that helps, but physical care is not available.

You have been through a lot so if you say your system works, I believe it and will try it -- just hope I spot the deer poop in the yard before I step in it......like I did the other day - barefoot yet!  Soaked my feet in bleach water after washing up....YUCK LOL   In fact, I went outside and played in the dirt a little bit planting some more cucumber seeds and flower seeds.  Dirt calms me.......outside dirt I mean LOL

Thanks "Sis"  Wishing you Easy Healing and Quick Recovery 

That is absolutely ridiculous.  I wonder why he's gone from supportive to asshat?  Is he maybe just scared of the surgery?  That's giving him the benefit of the doubt, and maybe there's something to it, but there is no reason for him to add this stress to an already stressful time.

Don't let them get you down.  You have made this decision for a reason.  If you're convinced it's the right one, to hell with what they say.  We'll support you even if they won't.  **** 'em! 

Thank you for your kindness........it means a lot.  I'm excited about this and won't give it up for anyone.  Not sure what his problem is -- maybe the realization that he will have to provide food for himself for a few days.............I do all the cooking (which is why my house is still standing LOL).

I see that it won't be long for you to get your sleeve -- the time will fly!.  Wishing you Easy Healing and QuicK Recovery.
 

Ree

You know what? You can do this entirely on your own if need be. You'll be okay at home by yourself after the surgery. If you could get around after a c-section, you can easily do this. Make sure you do your shopping before you check in to the hospital so you have what you need. I needed cream of potato soup, protein-fortified milk, and protein drinks. Your surgeon should be able to tell you what you need. You do this for YOU. If your loved ones are not on board, that is their problem, not yours! Good luck. You can do this and be successful with or without them.

Thank you for the encouragement.  It really does help.  I was in my 30s when I had the c-sections, but now I'm close to 65 and not sure I'll heal as fast or be as strong.  One way or another, I'm getting sleeved Thursday and I'm going to heal quickly and follow the program and if anyone gets in my way, maybe I need to rustle up some of my Italian feistiness and defend myself!

Thanks for the ideas for my shopping list.  I've loaded up on cream soups and protein drinks, milk, sugar-free gelatin, etc.

Your progress is wonderful.  I hope I can do as well you as have.  Again, thank you.

Ree

 Praying for you You can do this!