Food Addiction

I am currently watching a show about food addiction. It is very interesting and eye opening. I have always considered myself a binge eater. At this eating disorder clinic when they were assessing everyone I realized that I identify with the compulsive overreaters. I used to to think it was ridiculous that obesity could be a disease and food could be an addiction. But, after the internal struggles that started for me since month 6 post op of this journey I have realized I have a food addiction. Despite removing 70% of my stomach I am struggling with the need to binge. Sometimes I do binge despite an aching belly. I am proud of myself however that I have not eaten any rice, bread, pasta, potatoes, or ICE CREAM (that is my crutch, I would hide the three pints I would eat a day so that no one would know I was eating them. I would feel so much shame because as much as I tried to hide it my husband always caught me eating it. How sad is it that as a grown a$$ woman I felt I needed to shield my husband from my eating habits) ANyway, I am going off on a tangent. When I binge it seems to be on nuts, cheese or pepperoni, or all three at the same time. Weird. I am a little freaked out because there are people in this eating disorder clinic (on this show)who had WLS and are now once again MO or SMO.    I am freaking out that  this could happen to me.  I worry that because of my daily struggles with what Happy calls the monkey I will undo all of the hardwork that I have established in the past months. I always say I am going to see a therapist and then I  never do it. I hope that the fear I feel of going back to  330 lbs will push me to find someone to talk to. Sorry this is so long and all over the place, but this is the only place I felt I could share and maybe someone would understand.

I would think the fact that you only have 18lbs to go to reach your goal would be an incredible motivator. You don't want to be in a marathon where the prize is your life and be a few yards from the yellow tape, stop and turn around and start running the other way. Don't be afraid to finish!

I need to see a therapist too. I have seen one several times in my life for a variety of challenges. My guess based on time spent in therapy is that our eating issues stem from something else. I don't think "food addition" is what needs to be treated. I think the underlying issue needs to be addressed first, then the overeating/binging/addictive behavior should be addressed. I think just like all other "weight loss" schemes, they try to cure the symptom, not the cause.

Thanks for the response Keith. It sure would be a 'B' if I started running in the wrong direction now. I have been hovering in the same weight range for months. I think it is crazy to sabotage myself and not make this goal. Good luck on your journey as well.

Thank u for sharing...i think many of us can relate to ur post or at least i know i can. We probably wldnt have found ourselves at the point on needing WLS if we had not experienced some of the things u mentioned. Im only almost 4 weeks post op and can def say i struggle with not being able to binge! we r all still works in progress...stay encouraged!

Thanks LadyTiff!

I'm not a therapist but have seen many. I too struggled with "binge" eating, esp at night a couple times a month. I feel emotions led me to this as well as absentmindedness watching tv stuffing my face. You need to ask yourself what triggered this "eating binge" and how can you prevent that next time. Are you sitting down watching tv? if so get up and go for a walk? take a bath? brush your teeth/use Listerine (this always helped for me cause it makes food taste like crap), write your feelings down in a diary? You have to acknowledge you are in an active binge (even if tiny because our new tummys) and then you have to mentally pull yourself out of it and acknowledge your excat emotion at that time and then you MUST change your environment.

I always definitely recommend a therapist (esp a food addiction counselor)! GL to you sweetie!

Great advice Karismommy!

I have the same fear!!! I was part of an eating disorder program for 8 weeks - 8 hours a day. I have tons of info, therapy under my belt, etc. I know what has caused this - the underlying issue. Food doesn't have the same power over me even now - before surgery. But I'm terrified that I will become self destructive & out of control again. In my opinion, the food addiction is an outlet because of the underlying issues. That is where I think this forum will be very helpful. And a good therapist who specializes in eating disorders. A good therapist knows it is deeper than food.

Thanks for sharing and I am glad to know that these programs and therapy does make headway in our thinking about food.

I thin****il people who identify themselves as food addicts realize that food addiction is not just a psychological condition but also a PHYSIOLOGICAL one, they're always going to be hovering on the edge of the slippery slope of a binge. I don't think all of us who end up with WLS are necessarily food addicts, but those of us who are need to look at ourselves as nothing different from an alcoholic or a junkie. But since we can't stop eating completely, that means ridding our bodies of the substances that trigger us to eat inappropriately.

Six years ago, prior to my recent WLS, I began following an extremely clean weighed and measured food plan that was free from all sugar in its myriad forms, artificial sweeteners, wheat, flour, alcohol, cheese, fried and high fat foods. It was a hell of a detox, but after two weeks, I was positively reborn. For the first time in my life, I was free from the craving-binge-remorse revolving door. I lost a 100 pounds effortlessly and got to eat a ****load of food. The weighing and measuring gave me boundaries and I knew exactly how much to eat. My diabetes went into remission and I never got sick (I know, you're saying, "well, why did you need WLS, then Miss Perfect?" It's a long story which you can read under My Story here on OH if you want :-).

Anyway, I am certain that WLS did not cure my addiction, and that the only thing that's changed is that I have an additional tool in my arsenal to fight back with. 

So I guess what I'm trying to say to you is: I'm 53 and I've spent years in therapy, eating disorders treatment, 12-Step groups etc. but until I accepted that I was going to have to take responsibility for my health and stop making excuses, rid my diet of my most-loved foods that were killing me, nothing clicked.

IMO hoping and wishing it weren't so is setting yourself up.