OT: Follow-up marriage question

I want to thank all of you who have treated my cluelessness with kindness and given me lots of really helpful advice - and love - in the 'how can I get married' thread I opened just a few hours ago.  It's been really helpful, and I'm sure it's going to keep me from making some faux paus. pauses?  Paws.

But I'm a dork and left off one of the most important questions:

So I explained I want a small and cozy wedding... I've decided I want to invite my boss and my close peers.  However, I also manage a team of 12 people.  I can't invite some and not others right?  (Look the boss has favorites!)  Is there any social rules about this?  On one hand I'd like them to come, but on another hand, if they all bring a significant other then I'm adding up to two dozen more people!  x.x

What would you guys do???

Don't invite them.  Really.  Don't.  I think you need to keep a boundary and its definitely messy to invite some and not others.  I invited 4 work colleagues, including my boss.  That boss will now forever be known as "the guy that attended our wedding and didn't even give us so much as a card."  Yah.  Bad.

Good luck with whatever you decide.  Just remember the day is about you and your bride.  Nothing else.  

 I just read the first post. Fiancé, not fiancée.  Sorry!

This is really funny but I just gotto mention it.  My husband's entire family (except for his aunt and uncle and one cousin and his girl friend) didn't even give us a card either.  My family and friends of course did.    Well his one cousin included a check in the card.  Have you known the check bounced and our bank charged us for the bounce!!!  LOL :-)

You could invite them all but not have the option for a date or you could invite only your faves and swear them to secrecy !

i got married at age 43 and had a small wedding. i got some little but recent paper back book that told all about the correct stuff to do to have a wedding (not stuffy snooty stuff).  and i was a partner in a 35 lawyer firm at the time and chose just to invite a very few people from there - otherwise it would have been a law firm party and not fair to our small family.

so do whatever you want. we had about 50 people, rented an old house that had its own catering, had a brief ceremony followed by champagne and hors d'hovres and cake and had someone play a harp. it was great and low stress. people seemed to understand that our families were small and we just couldn't do a big blow out wedding.    diane

p.s. i weighed 200 lbs.

Oh, a harp!  Sounds delightful.  I'd love an accordian or xylophone, but my partner would kill me!  

What's the name of that book you got, and do you recommend it?

well i cant remember the book exactly but it was something like everything you need to know about weddings. just go to the bookstore and they will have a whole section and choose one thats contemporary and not some old Emily Post thing.  d

hey i vote for accordion. 

To be honest, I would leave the coworkers out. We're planning a 10 year renewal at the moment. This time was going to be the "biggun" as we like to call it. Because of all of the friends, family, coworkers, etc, it started to turn out to be a 200+ affair! Not exactly what I had in mind. When writing out your list, think of those that matter the MOST to you. Those who've been by your side through thick and thin (no pun intended, but if it makes you laugh, it was TOTALLY intended), and who've supported you both through it all. You may have a list like mine, but start trimming that list to those you absolutely would be heartbroken over not showing up. You can always share pictures and videos with those you didn't invite. :)

The work stuff is tricky.  I say, don't invite anyone who works for you or invite them all.  If you do anything else, there will be hurt feelings.  That is something you don't need in a work setting.