Last Night

I went to the gym.  I'm still pre-op but have decided to get my head in the game. I've started the whole protein first and am logging meals on MFP and got a Fitbit Flex. I am over 300 lbs, and out of shape. Walking hurts. I went to the gym and walked (slowly 2.7mph) on the treadmill for 40 mins. I was so impresses. But my back was hurting by then, so I needed to stop. I thought, I'll LIFT WEIGHTS!!!!

WEll, I don't know how to lift weights. So one of the guys that works at the gym shows me some arm moves. And then we get to talking. Then I mention WLS and then next thing  I know I am getting lectured. He told me if I have WLS I am basically going to be starving my body, and I"ll never truly be able to make real advances in the gym (whatever the EFF that means). It shook me up so bad, I came home shaking and thinking maybe I am WRONG to have surgery. I cried for a bit.

The hubs and I talked, and three years ago, I was lmost turning it around, but really, at this point, I feel I need the help of surgery.

I just wanted to share that, as it has been heavy on my heart and mind.

I WILL BE BACK to the gym soon though!

If you know this decision is right for you, then you can't let the "noise" from other people get in your head. People that have done zero research on WLS seem to have all kinds of opinions about it and they spout it out like facts. There are plenty of peopel that visit these forums that have done amazing things in the gym... screw him!

First of all, good for you for doing the legwork before surgery to help you be successful after surgery.  As for the gym employee - last time I looked, trainers didn't have medical degrees, most don't have degrees in nutrition, and many don't have any degree at all.  

That being said, this experience was also a useful one for you.  There are lots of ignorant people in the world, and this won't be the first time you hear a negative comment like this.  And by ignorant, I don't mean hateful, I mean uneducated.  There are lots of well-meaning people that will tell you similar things.  And the vast majority of them truly think they have your best interests at heart.  Don't internalize the feelings you have when you hear stuff like this; just say "thanks for the feedback" and walk away.  This won't be the last time you hear something like this.

So you can approach this in multiple ways.  You could find another gym.  Or you could ask to talk to the owner of the gym, suggest that their employees get educated on WLS and WLS patient needs (there are an awful lot of us out there, and we deserve the same treatment as anyone else), or ignore it completely and do what you know you need to do.  

If you have chosen a surgeon, see if they partner with a local gym - also, many surgeon's offices have exercise physiologists on staff to help you navigate the world of fitness post surgery.  

But mainly - good for you!  You're taking the right steps towards a new life!

Keep going to the gym. I would tell you to focus on the weights until post op and the reason is you should try to build as much muscle as you can between now and then and eat as much protein as you can handle. You will lose a lot of muscle between your pre-op diet and when you return to full foods so anything you can build now will be that much less you will lose later.

Your weight lifting pal is not 100% wrong, he just doesn't know the bigger picture. You will not be starving your body because you are going to learn how to eat the right things to compensate for how you used to eat before. Can you eat 4 chicken breasts like that guy? No, but you can eat a chicken breast. You will hear all kinds of perspectives before you have surgery. I am not telling whether you should have surgery or not, but what that guy doesn't understand is that you cannot control how much you eat. If you could you wouldn't be fat. But you are, like we all are/were. I can tell you I lift weights 4 times per week and exercise a total of 10 times per week and I am not starving. I eat less than 1500 calories per day and most of it is protein and I have gained a fair amount of muscle. Not as much as that guy can or as fast as that guy can but if you eat right and use the correct strategies then you will be fine.

Thanks for the feedback! I guess this is the first negative encounter I've had. Everyone I"ve told (and I am pretty open about it) has been overwhelmingly supportive and want me to do what I think is best. He basically was telling me if I worked out with him every day, did as I said, I wouldn't need the surgery. But I don't want to be hungry every day and spend 2+ hours a day in the gym. I want to work out regularly, eat healthy and feel satisfied.

Keith, I have been reading all the posts here about muscle and that is why I tried to go do weights. But I am VERY intimidated by them. So far I know how to use two machines. He has me doing "drop downs" or something like that. Where I do 10 at the heaviest weight, then 10 at the next lowest, then 10 at the next lowest, go to other machine and do the same thing, and then switch back and forth between machines so I hit each machine three times. This is arms.

First, congrats on joining the gym pre-op.  I did the same thing and have been a member of my local Y for nine months now.  I am much stronger and feel better than I have in a long time.

Second, sorry you had a know-it-all tell you what is best for you. Especially, since he knows you and your history so well (sarcasm). Don't doubt your decision. You know what you need.

I personally don't tell anyone what I'm doing because a lot of people are going to react negatively.  The only people who know in my life is my husband, and I recently told my brother & sister-in-law because I know they'd be supportive and not tell anyone.  They were overjoyed, btw.

Glad your going back to they gym. Avoid that meat head, though! :)

Here's a little advice:  

1.  If what a total stranger says to you shakes you up and makes you cry, do yourself a favor.  STOP telling total strangers about something as personal as your surgery.  It's just asking for trouble and will have you fighting mental battles you don't need to fight right now.  

2.  A wise woman once told me to ask myself,  "Am I willing to disappoint others so as to not betray myself?"  It's hard to answer "yes" to that question if you're a people-pleaser who wants everyone to like them (and I'm one of those!).  

You've done a lot of research and have the support of your husband on this.  You keep going to that gym and doing what your own sense of integrity is telling you that you MUST do.  

Cheering you on...

I can see that you are excited about your decision. That is great. I can appreciate your willingness to be open however, there are times when sharing may be to your harm. I used to tell people things about myself in the hopes that they agree with what I am doing. That made me vulnerable to attack and hurt. After I made the decision to have the surgery i decided to only tell a couple of friends about my decision. One hurt me some because she told her "jerk of a boyfriend" who immediately said "that i was taking the easy way out and that i should just work out more". I told her to have him tell me that to my face. She said that he wont because he is scared of me. I told her that when he gets his PHD/ MD in Bariatric medicine then we will talk.  I have been battling my weight for 50+ years. My making a change to my stomach size is a matter of survival! Stay away from those gym guys and stick to what is the right decision for you. This surgery is a gift for us and sometimes gifts that we are given should be kept close to us and not shared with people who won't appreciate it.