Are Lightweighters the "Middle child"?

kodomezhow06
on 10/18/13 4:37 am - KY

Well I posted a comment last night that is STILL being debated and discussed.  I suspect hit a nerve because of all the response.    But as I was reading the comments I couldn't help but wonder; are the Lighteweighters the middle child of the weight family? 

I had asked myself this question because the more I read the comments it brought me back to what my childhood friend’s feelings were about being the “middle child”.  She just absolutely hated being in the middle.  To her she felt invisible, unaccomplished, and looked over.  If she accomplished anything it wasn’t noticed because the oldest child had already done it or when the youngest did something wonderful it was praised because it wasn’t expected.  So, she felt well... stuck in the middle.  Mediocre.

So, I guess what I’m trying to say is the perception seems to be we lighterweighters should be…. well mediocre.  We should not feel entitled to be recognized for the hard work of losing the weight ‘cause, we weren’t big enough at start or we was thin at one time so we should have known better and not get that heavy.   It’s just an odd way to feel about what I still think is an accomplishment. 

But just as I was contemplating the middle child syndrome I got that confirmation.  One of my “Thinenemies” ;) at work, auh she NEVER talks to me, walked up to me and said, Wow!! Every time I see you, you just get thinner and thinner. Whatever you are doing it working.  I’m sure it took a lot of hard work to be looking this good.  That brought a huge smile on my face.  And thought, yeah it did take a lot of hard work.  This was not an easy journey.  All 70 plus pounds was hard to get off and like so many others, I’m still fighting to get the last bit off.  And I will not allow others to undermine my accomplishments. 

Bloodshotbetty
on 10/18/13 4:51 am - minneapolis, MN

My wish is that people who have had WLS- no matter the type, their background, weight loss, etc- can come together and realize that we all struggle and made a HuGE decision to change our lives.  Regardless of our size.

I am not sure that I qualified as a light weight- maybe somewhere in between- but, I knew what I was heading towards if I didn't intervene IMMEDIATELY.  And I am working just as damn hard as everyone else.  Perhaps I am just lucky that I was able to intervene when I did.

-Alycia-

Nikke2003
on 10/18/13 4:52 am - PA
VSG on 05/13/13

I don't understand how after reading all of the responses on that thread that you could come to the conclusion that "The perception seems to be we lightweights should be.... well mediocre. We should not feel entitled to be recognized for the hard work of losing the weight 'cause, we weren't big enough at start or we was thin at one time so we should have known better and not get that heavy."

The majority of those posts were in support of lightweights. A couple people offered a heavyweight perspective and acknowledged that this is hard for everyone and that everyone deserves health (and that they were just venting frustrations). Finally, there was exactly one post on that board that did neither and it was from the original poster of the thread you referred to.

I understand if you feel this way.... I understand WHY you feel this way. You are entitled to feel this way. I'm glad that you're sharing and that we can all comment. HOWEVER, I think it's unfair to come to the conclusion you did above based on the responses to your last thread.

For more info on my journey & goals, visit my blog at http://flirtybythirty.wordpress.com

  

kodomezhow06
on 10/18/13 5:03 am - KY

Keep in mind this is not ONLY forum that discusses WLS or the Lightweight vs Heavyweight.  Just want to make that clear.  So, it kind of unfair to ASSUME that the conclusion was based on one particular thread.  And to your point, yes you are correct  the majority of the posts most were very supportive. 

 

 

Nikke2003
on 10/18/13 5:14 am - PA
VSG on 05/13/13

Ok, I understand what you're saying. However, you did say above, "Well I posted a comment last night that is STILL being debated and discussed.  I suspect hit a nerve because of all the response. As I was reading the comments, I couldn't help but wonder, are the lightweights the middle child of the weight family" 

You opened this post referring to the one specific thread that you posted yesterday and said that it made you ponder the question. You didn't say anything about drawing your conclusions from observations on multiple threads/multiple forums, or by seeing some kind of trend over recent months, and I also checked your recent posts first. With that being said, I do not believe it was unfair for me to conclude that you were basing your thoughts off of the responses of yesterday's posts alone.

I'm glad that you feel that the majority of the posts were very supportive. I like to believe that most people on this site have the best of intentions! Lord knows nobody in my real life understands the struggles that I have been through, and I count on all of you to be that support for me... regardless of whether you have 100 lbs to lose.... or 1000000000 lbs to lose!!   :)

 

For more info on my journey & goals, visit my blog at http://flirtybythirty.wordpress.com

  

KittyKarin
on 10/18/13 5:38 am - FL
VSG on 01/09/13

I agree. I don't really see why everyone is getting up in arms about this.  Especially on that original post made in the BMI Over 50 forum.  I didn't think what the original poster said was that malicious.  I thought she was being sarcastic. And then, like Nikki said, in that and the thread on the VSG forum, most of the commenters defended everyone's right to take control of their weight and get healthy, no matter what size.  I think people are taking this stuff way too seriously. 

KittyKarin :-) Starting weight: 362 / Surgery weight: 353 / Current weight: 190 (03/27/2017)

Tracy D.
on 10/18/13 5:02 am - Papillion, NE
VSG on 05/24/13

I think when I started this whole journey that I was a little biased because I didn't think I was "bad" enough to need WLS.  But now, I really, really wish that I had been able to do it long before I got to 235 lbs. at 51 years old.  I wish I could have done this back in my 30's and had my skin snap back as well as some of you "younguns" :-) 

I don't believe that just because the road is longer for someone else that it makes them any more of a weight-loss-warrior than me.  We all have our private pains and heartaches that the excess weight has brought us, whether that is 50 lbs. or 300 lbs. 

I hope everyone can agree to honor the warrior as she/he makes their journey because it's a lifetime journey that never ends.  Regardless of the weight we started at, we'll be having to manage this part of our lives forever.  

 Tracy  5'3"     HW: 235  SW: 218  CW: 132    M1: -22  M2: -13  M3: -12  M4: -9  M5: -8   M6: -10   M7: -4

 Goal reached in 7 months and 1 week

 Lower Body Lift w/Dr. Barnthouse 7-8-15

   

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

Chrissy W.
on 10/18/13 11:27 am - Indianapolis, IN
VSG on 07/01/13

angry

Excellently put!

VSG 7/1/13 with Dr. Jack Rutledge 28 y/o female - 5'10" - HW: 298GW: 174 - SW: 290 (-8) - M1: 262 (-28) - M2: 247 (-15) - M3: 235 (-12) - M4: 228 (-7 ~First Stall: almost 2 wks~) - M5: 218 (-10) - M6: 209 (-9) - M7: 199 (-10) Onederland on 1/31 - M8: 196 (-3) 100 lb total loss on 2/2 - M9: 192.6 (-3.4) - M10: 188.6 (-4) - M11: 182 (-6.6) - M12: 175.6 (-6.4) - M13: 173.8 (-1.8) CW (7/8/15): 167 - GOAL reached in 1 Year and 25 Days! - TOTAL WL - 131 lbs  

cmgrayson
on 10/18/13 1:20 pm
VSG on 06/25/13
Psychologist touched on this during pre surg session - "people will say you are not that fat" (235 at 5'4" put me right at 40 BMI). Well gosh darn it my insurance paid so I don't even know why this is a debate? It's always something...
    
Most Active
×