Interesting...who are you?

A friend linked this article in a private group I'm in, and it wasn't really related to weight loss at all, but I found it interesting.

http://www.gretchenrubin.com/happiness_project/2012/05/quiz-are-you-an-abstainer-or-a-moderator/

I'm definitely an abstainer.  Moderation doesn't work for me.  I use moderation as an excuse to make poor choices again and again, always increasing in quantity and regularity.  My mom is definitely a moderator.  The woman can literally eat a third of a scone, then put the rest away until the next day.  I've actually seen her eat half a cookie.  Who eats HALF a cookie?  I want ALL THE COOKIES!  ALL THE SUGAR!  :)  It's much easier for me to abstain completely than it is to just take a bite.  It's never just a bite or even just a cookie.  Same with exercise.  I am much more consistent if I only take one rest day instead of 2 or 3.  I need the pattern, the expectation that this is how I live my life, this is what I do.  It just makes it easier.  The choice is already made, so of course I'm going to the gym and of course I'm not going to eat that cookie. 

So...who are you?

Hey gorgeous Deena!

Well ... I think I have to put it this way for me.  I cannot be a moderator.  I was one for over a year after surgery; it doesn't work for me & I already knew that.  I wanna be an abstainer like you.  I'm trying & I do good a lot of the times but it's constant work.  Work in progress ... yup, that's me!

^ wish I could "like" this jenn!  I have tried and failed many times to be an abstainer...ugh

I'm not saying I abstain all the time because I have certainly fallen off the wagon and then gotten run over by said wagon.  I'm saying I know I am much more successful if I just abstain completely.  i cannot be moderate about pretty much anything in my life.  It's just not who I am, and that's OK.  I like me.  I like me best in skinny jeans or short shorts and that requires abstinence.  :)

I have to be an abstainer.  I just decided yesterday that I'm giving up all foods that have added sugar in them.  They're like alcohol to an alcoholic or drugs to a drug addict.  Just one bite and I'm off the wagon full blown and it's really hard to climb back on again.  If I want to make this work for the long run, I have to abstain completely.

Jane

I'm an abstainer right now.  Maybe I always will be.  When I lost weight the last time - about 5 years ago- I found a way to be a moderator.  I would take a bite of the "bad" food and then I'd ruin the rest.  Or, when I was full, I'd ruin the rest of the food to stop myself from picking at it.  By ruin, I mean dumping water on it so no one would ever dream of touching it.  It worked...for that time.  But like I said, "the last time I lost weight", so I didn't keep it up long term.  Until I know for sure that I can handle it and not derail the work I've put in, I will abstain.  It could be forever.  That was a choice that had to work for me before I agreed to have the surgery.

My guess is that most people in our situation are not skillful at moderation...or at least weren't before the surgery.   But that's only a guess.

This is really interesting! Thanks for sharing!

I'm a moderator. No question. I am too big of a foodie to think that I'll never again be allowed to taste some of my favorites...I would fall off the wagon before it got out of town. Where I used to live in the camp of "Eat-Everything-In-Front-Of-Me," I now believe in the "quality over quantity" rule. It's been an interesting flip. This time a year ago, I might have chowed down on a huge meal of "so-so" homemade fetuccini alfredo made with alfredo sauce from a jar and mushrooms from a can. Now, I prefer a few ounces of pan seared sirloin steak with homemade sriracha and garlic aioli. The ingredients are controlled (and I can pronounce them all!). If I want a "dessert," I might have a piece or two of really good handmade caramels that I can savor, rather than the enormous bowl of cheap vanilla ice cream and hot fudge that pre op me would have inhaled.

Again: quality over quantity.

I found one particular line in this article to be really interesting: "...both moderators and abstainers try hard to convert the other team" It's so true, isn't it? I read posts here pretty often that inevitably include replies that claim that "Moderation is BS and ONLY leads to failure." Really? I've been eating like this since surgery (with very little variation) and am down 100 pounds and still losing. Sure, I have to buckle down and make sure that I'm tracking EVERYTHING in order to stay within my daily limits, but I would do that no matter how I ate. As long as my WLS journey is anchored in accountability, I see nothing wrong with moderation. But like you said, if you can't just eat half the cookie...? Best to do what works for YOU.

Again, thanks for sharing! Really thought-provoking post!

*Edited for typo*

I really like how you said this!  Thanks for offering a new perspective.

(I'm in TN, too.)  :-)

Well! Howdy, neighbor! 

I shared for that specific reason.  I know there are people who can be moderate.  It's a personality thing.  I'm not moderate about ANYTHING.  I'm either shoving cupcakes down my throat never moving off the couch or I'm working out 6-7 days a week and living on lean protein and veggies.  There's no in between for me, and I've ALWAYS been like this.  At 33 years of age (happy birthday to me!), I know myself well enough to that is my reality.  I think it's much harder to be moderate, if not impossible if it is an actual addiction.  My relationship with sugar can be classified as such.  There's no slippery slope about it.  I either don't eat it, or I ONLY eat it.  BTW, I love moderators. Most of my close friends, my mom and my husband are all moderators.  It helps balance my very extreme, black & white personality :)  We all need to do us, not other people.  That starts with being honest about who and what you are.  And accepting it.  And loving it.