It's all about perspective

Yesterday I visited a friend in the hospital who has been going through hell for 2+ years after her disastrous turn with a lapband.  She's had multiple surgeries (including VSG) but the damage to her esophagus from the band was so bad that they finally had to bypass her.  I went in to see her after not seeing her for well over a year and she goes "OMG you are SO SKINNY!"  HUH?  Me?  lol  Dealing with the struggle of weight loss over a year out and a bit of regain has me feeling anything BUT skinny.  I also saw a bunch of girlfriends over the weekend for a baby shower and they, too, said "wow, Danielle you're looking really great" and they couldn't believe when I told them I've actually gained about 8-10lbs.

It's time to start treating myself with some more respect and putting it all into perspective.  Like I wrote on another post, this surgery does more for your life than just losing weight.  It has created a whole new person.  I feel better and happier than ever before.  I go to therapy, I'm less down on myself, I feel like I can look in the mirror and like what I see, etc etc.  I DO think I need to strive harder to work out more and not be a total beast when going out to eat or be social with friends but that is a work in progress.  My therapist has to say to me almost every session "Focus on yourself and all the good you've done instead of what you HAVEN'T achieved."  And she's so right!

I need to sit back and realize I eat way, way healthier than ever before.  I'm also very much aware of nutrition and what's actually good for me and my body compared to what I THINK is good.  Eating low fat ice cream is NOT worth it.  Eating full fat cheese IS worth it and better for me than low fat chemical crap they sell in bags.  Don't get me wrong, I still use some processed foods in my life but only for convenience.  When I can, I will buy organic, raw, whole foods instead of eating a frozen dinner.  Get what I'm saying?  Being aware of what I put into my body is something I never did before.

I still have some bad habits like smoking on occasion and imbibing in a glass of wine (or two) more than I should but, again, I'm working on it and I'm grateful for all this surgery has done for me because I'm moving forward instead of backward to a better me.  Sometimes you just have to put it all into perspective, right?

OH, YAH!!  Recognize progress, keep up the good fight, and continue to grow into the lovely, strong, and beautiful person you are!  Whoo-hah!

LIKE and thank you!

Definitely.  When I read about stalls, I always think about life before and after VSG.

Is exercising good- Yes

Is watching calories good- Yes

Is eating protein good- Yes

When I read about stalls, I always try to remember that the new me has good habits and will continue to work on breaking some of the old ones as well.  None of the habits above will make the scale go down, but they are habits of normally healthy people.

Your awareness now is what is important.  You may take a step back, but its about progress, not perfection!

Congrats on your journey and it is always good to read your posts.

Scott

I needed to read this!!!! I have had people tell me I am melting away and I just don't see it. I. Need to focus on what I have done and not what needs done. What a great way to think about it. I am a little over 2 months out and when is the last time I have lost 45lbs in 2 months! Thank you posting this. What a great prospective to have

It's always hard to look at yourself and see what other people see.  When I was a lot heavier, I thought I looked amazing but then I would see pictures (which is really what other people see) and would feel so horrible.  It's hard to lose that mind sight but now I know I look good IRL and in pictures hehe

You are awesome Danielle and my feelings exactly!!!  We are ina much better place this time around.  Any little obstacle we have faced in our past, we can overcome them and make the appropriate changes this time around. 

WTG gurl, keep up the get progress!

Hehe, you're awesome too Jenn! 

I love your posts. I agree that perspective is key in this process. The fear of failure is so high in many of us due to past experience that the second we do something wrong we beat ourselves up! I love the fact that I eat healthy, work out, and feel at peace for the first time. I feel like my actions now match my goals to return to health. I will make mistakes during this journey. Those mistakes are a lesson and will look at it as a chance to bring my learning to a higher level. There is no room for punishment in my life. Didnt work for me before so why keep doing it?

The first few weeks was tough. I just did what I needed to do knowing that it was temporary. I actually found that I was nervous about returning to food! I even panicked a bit when my nutritionist said that I needed to increase my calories to 800-1000! I decided to use my energy in finding a way to acheive it. Feeling scared, worried, and fearful is a waste of my energy!

I decided early on that i would learn from others. I accepted that I may never touch a slice of bread. It wakes up the Cravings Demon. What is odd is that I dont feel deprived by making that decision. I feel empowered! A positive and kind to yourself attitude is what is working for me. My food addiction is a beast. I have been able to get it into hibernation. I have learned from other people experiences that I am positive that I want to keep it that way! 

My advice to all is "reframe" events from a positive perspective. It does make it difference! 

Aw thanks!  I feel like posting about more than just weight loss is the key to making myself happy and show others who may be struggling that this journey is worth it.  I had a real horrible fear of failure because I had a lapband first and was told (by doctors, mind you) that I was a failure.  It took a long time of self hating to finally pick myself up, tell myself I am NOT a failure, and find a doctor who agreed with that.  I did that and now I'm the happiest I've ever been. 

Something else my therapist likes to say to me...our biggest mistakes are our best teacher.  Can't be truer than that! 

Positivity is the key to success in all respects.  Keep up the good work!