Fnally turned a corner in the right direction
Hiiii my lovely OH fam! I can't believe Im closing in on 3 years post op. after a ****astic year and a half, I have finally gotten the help I need. Ive been in an inpatient hospital with a trauma recovery unit and it has completely turned me into a new person. My life hasnt changed, but my brain has, and today was the first day - maybe ever - where I woke up and my first thought was "Im happy ". Ive been getting 6 hours a day of therapy that is exactly what I need - Im resolving the under lying traumatic events Ive experienced, (and finally diagnosed with PTSD and had a good med adjustment). We havent had a lot of eating disorder specific classes but my food issues are slowly changing as I heal from the inside. My back still sucks but its better than its been and physically Im just feeling really good. I managed to navigate my way through a couple weeks of endless food/snacks/junk food, and my weight stayed exactly the same. This gives me a lot of hope that I'll eventually be able to trust my body and kick maintenance s ass!!! Once Im out of the hospital, I might be able to focus on some slow weight loss.
I am however extremely pissed about my stomach and Ive been hating this surgery for a minute. It saved my life but Im pretty miserable. I believe the narrowing in my stomach has gotten worse as I can BARELY eat 2-3 oz of food ( and I was binge eating over the summer and eating tons). I know I should take advantage of it, but my dietician and therapist are all over me for my calories. If I eat every hour and make a dense protein or other healthy choice, Im struggling to get 700 calories in (from food - im drinking some calories) And just for comparison, at 1 yr out, I was easily eating 1200, and over last summer, I was exceeding 3000 calories. Soooo something is wrong but I can't g the answers I want. But I have faith. I never thought Id get the mental health treatment I needed and I did - it occured at the right time and place in my life. Once I resolve my back and stomach, I will be good to go.
I thought Id check in since I know many of you will enjoy this new break through. I think about you all often and wish I had more time online to stay connected. Im looking forward to my 3 yr anniversary regardless of what I weigh or what size I am.
www.sexyskinnybitch.wordpress.com - my journey to sexy skinny bitch status
11/16/12 - Got my Body by Sauceda - arms, Bl/BA, LBL, thigh lift.
HW 420/ SW 335 /CW 200 
85 lbs lost pre-op / 135 post op
~~~~Alison~~~~~
I've been thinking about you lately, as I have not caught posts from you. I haven't been on quite as much though, so I chalked it up to a timing issue. I am very happy to read that you are feeling well emotionally! That is such a huge party of the battle. I also hope they can figure out the stomach issue. Keep taking good care of yoursef!
Surgeon: Chengelis Surgery on 12/19/2011 A little less carb eating compared to my weight loss phase loose sleever here!
1Mo: -21 2Mo: -16 3Mo: -12 4MO - 13 5MO: -11 6MO: -10 7MO: -10.3 8MO: -6 Goal in 8 months 4 days!! 6' 2'' EWL 103% Starting size 28 or 4x (tight) now size 12 or large, shoe size 12 w to 10.5 150+ pounds lost
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on 4/9/14 11:45 am, edited 4/9/14 11:48 am
I also was wondering about you yesterday as I haven't seen you post in awhile.
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I hope you get some answers and resolve on your tummy and back next! My hubby is looking at back and shoulder surgery too (he had multiple previous injuries). Once the fat went away the pain came on harder with a vengeance!
Oh my friend, I am so glad that you are getting the help you need. Your post brought tears, I have been thinking about you a lot. I haven't been on the boards much lately because I am swamped with work (I'll post about that in a minute). But I am really glad I checked tonight. When you are released and up to it, we need to get together.
high weight 230 start of journey weight 217 surgery weight 191 current weight 138
