The Rules of Change
Unfortunately, we can't rely on unconscious change in regards to changing our relationship with food. That process will take nothing less than total awareness of your beliefs, feelings, and behaviors, along with tons of courgage and a doggedness you may never have before in reaching any goal.
So the "Rules"
1. Change is simple but not easy
2. Change in incremental
3. Change is slow
4. Change doesnt happen without discomfort
5. Change is facilitated by having or developing specific personality traits.
6.. If you put one foot in front of the other, you cant help but get to where you want to go.
As part of the process. a lot of behavior adjustments are "simple" - but they arent easy. They are very very hard. Especially when you endeavor to say...stop grazing at night when you are bored. The concept is easy in theory and in practice, so far from easy.
Change will never happen on its own. It wont happen over night. It requires a plan. And part of that plan is recognizing that it could be a long road. Thats why Rule Num. 2 says - incremental change. You need a plan full of baby steps. You make those goals, and you proceed. As you conquer one challenge, you proceed to the next. It could take you a day or it could take you a year for any particular challenege. The process of change is always going to be uncomfortable. We have to learn to sity with uncomfortable feelings - for me, a lot of times I have to learn to deal internally with my anxiety as opposed to trying to eat it away (see how far that habit got me). Discomfort is different from pain. There maybe times where you are too uncomfortable - for various reasons like other life stressors presenting themselves and you need to take a break. That's okay. There is no one single linear line to success. Things happen and we might go in circles for a minute. We have to be able to accept that as part of the process as well. Change cannot happen if you are TOO UNCOMFORTABLE - and its ok.
The bottom line of change - keep going. Keep marching forward even if it's the slowest march ever, it WILL GET YOU TO YOUR GOAL.
GOALS GOALS GOALS - you cannot change without identifying a goal, something that needs to change.
Here's my inspiration for now - hope others find this general thought and topic as they proceed in their WL journeys. Lets face it - a sucessful and lasting relationship with food will take all this hard work.
Open to discussion :)
www.sexyskinnybitch.wordpress.com - my journey to sexy skinny bitch status
11/16/12 - Got my Body by Sauceda - arms, Bl/BA, LBL, thigh lift.
HW 420/ SW 335 /CW 200 85 lbs lost pre-op / 135 post op
~~~~Alison~~~~~
I gotta have a goal. And go from there ... none of this, "Oh, I lost 3 pounds" and then think of celebrating that with food. I have to move on to a 2nd goal not sabotage the first which is what I have done recently. Change is hard, it always is. Sometimes we can adjust better with certain things like a new job. Something like our way of eating, especially if we ate a certain way our entire life is going to be hard, no friggin question about it. I can acknowledge that is part of my problem. It's like someone telling me I have to breathe thru my mouth now when all my life I breathed thru my nose. Heck, I would hate that ... same applies here.
We work hard at many things, we need to keep that frame of mind with everything we do, especially the stuff that impacts and affects us. This affects me emotionally, mentally & physically ... so ... game on!!!! :)
Jenn
WWBD?
1. Change is simple but not easy
2. Change in incremental
3. Change is slow
4. Change doesn't happen without discomfort
5. Change is facilitated by having or developing specific personality traits.
6.. If you put one foot in front of the other, you cant help but get to where you want to go.
This is awesome! It's what I am living. Saving this list of six, printing it and posting it!
THANKS SO MUCH! This kind of makes my day because it's exactly where I am and what I am doing!
I have never thought about change in a succinct list such as this, but I highly value each point. When I struggle and put on a few pounds and feel like me eating is out of control- I rely on the incremental change idea. Works everytime, thus far at least. Goals- one step at a time. Abo****ely. I think that when we allow ourselves to have this all or nothing mentality and our inner voice is allowed to beat us up saying things like "it is so easy, and yet here you are not doing it and you will never make it to goal". This list is worthy of putting on the fridge and revewing every so often. Great post Alison!
Surgeon: Chengelis Surgery on 12/19/2011 A little less carb eating compared to my weight loss phase loose sleever here!
1Mo: -21 2Mo: -16 3Mo: -12 4MO - 13 5MO: -11 6MO: -10 7MO: -10.3 8MO: -6 Goal in 8 months 4 days!! 6' 2'' EWL 103% Starting size 28 or 4x (tight) now size 12 or large, shoe size 12 w to 10.5 150+ pounds lost
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Thank you so much for sharing. I also think I need to print this and keep reminding myself of this process. I have always been an "all or nothing" dieter. I am pre-op right now. I know that I have to change this way of thinking and have really been trying. Thank you for articulating this so well.
Awesome post..
I have had times I have gone "off the rails" in regards to eating, very simply put, due to frustration
and I have most recently come to realize that by me focusing on the negative
( these damn last 10 lbs)
that I totally disregarded and ignored all the positive that has happened
( the 85 freaking lbs I DID lose) the countless NSV's and ways my life has most drastically improved
and I started to self sabotage!
I ate a cookie..tuned back into **** it, I ate a cookie I may as well have 10 more..
I am so grateful that I had that
" what the HELL are you doing"
" look how far you've came stupid!!"
" did you ever think you'd accomplish this!!" Moment
It is slow..it is a process..and Im sure I will again and again have moments of negative thinking,
and self sabotage
I have a lifetime of **** thinking to deal with about myself..
and change doesn't happen overnite,
HELL, I don't know if it will ever change permanently,
but I'm hopeful that the more I replace thinking positively about myself and my accomplishments,
the less and less the **** thinking will appear..