4 years plus PO (and a wedding!)

brownblonde
on 9/13/14 12:34 pm, edited 9/13/14 12:36 pm

4 years Post OP

 

I guess 4+ years post op kinda makes me a post op dinosaur.  I occasionally read the message boards to remind myself from whence I come and to refocus on the right kind of habits and attitudes.  I blogged A LOT when I began my journey (feel free to read my blogs, they may be old but I tried to journal pretty frequently that first year) and thought I might keep it up forever.  Weight, diets, and everything to do with either one of those have been a constant focus in my life.  This is the first time in my life I'm beginning to detach myself from them.  It's pretty liberating.  But it comes with a lot of fear as well.  This is a place I have never been in my life; weight isn't a problem on the scale.  So what now?  I think I am not alone in acknowledging that even though my weight may be controlled, the problem that I had/have is in "remission" and could return at any time.  I would say I'm at the more liberal end of diet control—I keep my eye on the scale, I try not to eat past "full" and normally that means halving my portions before i even get them.  I never intended to eat the diet way the rest of my life and I don't.  I am a fairly healthy eater as is so portion control, my "tool" has served me well.  What I will say I have to be careful about is patterns.  I will tell you a secret—I sometimes have candy.  In fact, I usually take a small (fun size) piece in my lunchbox every day.  Let me quickly say I would not recommend this in the losing stage, or maybe ever depending on your cir****tances.  For me, it works, because by knowing I get my little treat I am miraculously able to leave other candy alone.  That worked for me.  However, at some point last year this morphed into me getting a candy bar from the vending machine every couple days.  This was a bad habit and when I realized it, I had to cut it off.  I also know that I do much better when I eat breakfast, and when I portion out my lunch.  I don't follow a strict diet, but I try not to make excuses.  I like food.  I don't see that as an issue, in fact I use it to my benefit.  I made a multitude of excuses before WLS.  For me, the ultimatum that I would never again eat "X,Y, and Z" was just an excuse masquerading as a resolution.  I still try to eat smaller portions (still have good restriction!), still make protein the biggest feature of the meal, and I try to be mindful about X, Y, and Z.  I guess the biggest piece of advice I would give is not to allow yourself to develop bad habits.  They are so hard to correct!  And also don't let your weight get away from you.  If I'm ever up more than 2lbs. on the scale, I begin to get worried, and at 4 I get serious.  5lbs. is so simple to take care of.  10+ takes more effort.

 

This past year has been a big year for me.  I finally had my plastic surgery, and I got married.  My weight is normally 152.5, which is technically 3.5lbs. above my lowest weight, but I only ever saw that weight for about 10 seconds lol!  My size is about the same except for that my stomach skin is gone so flat-front pants and skirts fit smoothly and I don't look like I have a big roll of fat.  I was pretty excited about plastics.  I had a TT/BA on Dec. 17.  The TT did not hurt at all.  The BA was hellish, and come to find out I had an infection (and subsequent removal) so perhaps mine is not the typical situation.  When I awoke from surgery I was SO unhappy!  Of course you feel so bloated up, in a kind of hazy pain, and so hopped up on medicine.  I looked down at my stomach and still saw stretch marks, which were now reddened from the swelling.  My stomach did not look taught, but instead looked bloated.  And now I had a gash of a scar, which seemed far too high.  Now, 9 months later, I can tell you that I'm decently happy with the TT.  Yes I definitely like my new, flat stomach better than my old bread doughy one.  But it's far from a VS model stomach.  I don't like to think my expectations were way far out there, but they were definitely too high to meet.  I still have a little bit of a muffin top (I guess just the way you attach skin above the scar to skin below), and I still have stretch marks.  I'm not way skinnier, just flatter and smoother.  I guess I was hoping to have the same kind of transformation experience I had from WLS with plastics.  In my experience, one does not even come close to the other.  WLS was a whole body, mind experience.  It changed my life in so many ways, almost all good, if not different.  I love the experience of getting to become to the world who I always felt I was in myself.  I loved also getting to develop into the person I had always wanted to be but my weight had stopped me—things like dating more, riding horses, taking new educational opportunities, etc.  At the risk of sounding cheesy, it was almost like being born again and getting to experience all the new developments through your adult eyes.  Plastics was nothing like that.  I was a much shallower experience.  And, to be honest, how much can a flat stomach change your life?  Hardly at all compared to weight loss surgery.  One changed my life, the other changed how I look in flat-front pants.  I still wish I could re-experience the thrill of WLS.  But I am so thankful it happened to me once in my life.

 

I also got married this year!  I felt like a princess.  Trying on dresses was so fun!  I loved them all.  I can't help but think that the whole experience would have been different if I were still 276lbs.  Not bad, not at all.  But less fun probably.  I found out that the place where I bought my dress carried up to a size 20, so I might have been able to squeeze into that, but that only kept 1 style in each size above size 14.  So basically I wouldn't have gotten to try on the dresses (at least not at this store or some of the smaller boutiques).  And maybe I'm being unfair here in my presumptions, but I do not think I would have been treated as well or as "peer-like" in the super trendy hair salon where I got my wedding hair done, or by the cake decorator.  And after a couple of interviews with photographers, I got the distinct idea that they are selective with who they choose to photograph!  I'm glad I had it this way.  My weight was the furthest thing on my mind.  I am so thankful for that.  I also felt much better on the honeymoon.  Everything from the plane ride (being able to fit in a seat!!), to wearing a swimsuit in public, to feeling physically able to do things like climb zip lines, be the smaller person on the parasailing, etc. etc. 

 

So I will leave you by saying life is sweet.  I may not always think about weight or weightloss surgery any more.  But I am thankful every day for what it allows me to do.  

Pre op 277

Pre op

about 1 month PO, circa 250

Pre and Post Thanksgiving

Bachelorette Party fun

Rehearsal Dinner

 

        
akindofmagick
on 9/13/14 1:35 pm - MD

Wow - GORGEOUS wedding photos!  Thanks for the update, and Congratulations!!

I've been fat, and I've been thin - and thin is better.  

There is a better way. --Alaine of Lyndar 
--------------------------
HW: 234. SW: 228 (18 June 2015). GW: 137. Specs: 50ish, 5'4"

frisco
on 9/13/14 1:47 pm

Congrats on everything Bonnie !!!

Gorgeous !!!

Just an incredible story, I got to watch the whole thing unfold....you blossomed !!!

For anyone that is new.... and/or young, Bonnie had VSG when she was 23 and her sister was 19 and they had surgery on the same day with the now past Dr. Stewart in Texas.

Read her profile blog from the beginning, probably the most compressive introspective I've seen/followed.

Thanks for introducing me to the Oklahoma Onion Burger and the inspiration to learn to cook !!!! (Bonnie can cook and throw down the big family fest meals!)

frisco

SW 338lbs. GW 175lbs. Goal in 11 months. CW 148lbs. WL 190lbs.

          " To eat is a necessity, but to eat intelligently is an art "

                                      VSG Maintenance Group Forum
                  
 http://www.obesityhelp.com/group/VSGM/discussion/

                                           CAFE FRISCO at LapSF.com

                                                      Dr. Paul Cirangle

TexasTerritory
on 9/13/14 9:47 pm
VSG on 07/22/13
Love your wedding pics. You're beautiful.

  

stephanieplum
on 9/14/14 12:01 am
VSG on 06/27/12

Thank you for sharing your story. I've followed you and read your blog. Dr. Stewart was my surgeon, too!  You're amazing and beautiful!!!

    

Smitherine
on 9/14/14 1:45 am

Wow! 

Inspirational!

and your wedding dress!!!! Freakin' GORGEOUS!!!!!!

 

novascotiadawn
on 9/14/14 2:15 am - Calgary, Alberta, Canada

Stunning person you are.... Love the photos! You've worked well with your tool!

 

Hugs

Donna

Leaky sleeve survivor!!! 2008/2009 ~ 5'7"~ 42F Bougie

aharris30
on 9/14/14 6:23 am
VSG on 05/13/14

Congrats! I LOVE your wedding dress! You completely rocked it.

    

  

BooBooKitKat
on 9/14/14 7:11 am
VSG on 08/21/14

Congratulations on your success!................and you have made the most beautiful bride I ever saw! That dress was gorgeous!

Pamela M.
on 9/14/14 7:21 am - Atlanta, GA
VSG on 08/25/14

Congratulations!  You look amazing!  Do you mind if I ask who designed your wedding gown?

       

The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it.   Henry David Thoreau

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