A "Feel Good" Post

Everyone asks me all the time about what my life is like after losing a bunch of weight.  Not just how I physically "feel" but how my life has actually changed.  Sometimes it's really hard to put into words and all I can say is "amazing!"  I don't think that "amazing" really covers it.  "Amazing" is an adjective you use when you really have no idea to describe something that is incredible.  Explaining how much my life has changed is like trying to explain what Mountain Dew tastes like to someone who's never tried it.   It's just impossible.  So I made a list of things in my life that are more "amazing" than they were when I was 322 lbs.  

We all know that the number 1 NSV is how we feel.  We have more energy, our health problems go away, and we are able to be more active.  Here's the stuff I have that we don't always talk about on here.

1.  I smile in the mirror. When I do my hair and my makeup I make flirty faces in the mirror and it makes me laugh.  Not only do I smile, but I take more pride in my appearance and it takes me forever to get ready.  I love my face now.  And my hair has finally stopped thinning (or at least considerably slowed down).  I didn't get this surgery because I thought I was ugly or anything but it is definitely a nice bonus to feel beautiful.  I spent $150 dollars last week at Sally's on beauty products!

2.  I've stopped trying to hide my body.  I used to wear clothes that would hide the fat rolls and mask the fact that I was fat.  Now, I'm wearing clothes that accentuate my curves and show off more skin.  I probably change my clothes 4 times every morning to find the perfect outfit.  But instead of changing to find something that fits right I'm changing to find the best outfit to make me look hott!!  p.s.  I'm down from a size 24 to a size 14/16 

3.  I love to dance again.  At my biggest, I stopped dancing.  I thought "no one wants to see that."  But this past weekend I went out with some friends and danced the night away.  I felt alive.  I felt like a woman.  I felt "amazing."  It was totally worth the soreness I felt the next morning.  

4.  I'm not afraid to sing.  I have always thought that I had a nice singing voice but I had such low self esteem that I never let anyone hear me (on purpose).  But now I'm singing all the time in front of anyone and my boyfriend has convinced me to start taking voice lessons because he feels that I sound really "amazing."

5.  I smell good. You know how it is.  When you're morbidly obese you tend to sweat more and let's face it, personal hygiene can difficult.  The paranoia of "Do I stink?" sets in often.  I would always carry extra deodorant and perfume in my purse, my desk at work, and my desk was always loaded with scented lotion and air fresheners.  Now, I find that my deodorant lasts all day and one squirt of my favorite perfume lasts long enough to get me through my work day.    I finally smell good!

6.  I can wear heels.  This is a huge deal I think for most of us women.  I always wore flats flats flats.  And sneakers.  Boooooring! I can finally wear heels and wedges without excruciating pain!  My calves I think are still a little too big for zipper boots but I'm thinking about 20-30 lbs and I'll be ready!  

7.  I do my nails.  Another thing that I never really did at 322 lbs.  I just didn't find myself pretty enough to take that kind of time to give myself manicures.  And at the time, I couldn't even reach my toes let alone bend over long enough to paint my toenails!  Now, however, I paint my nails constantly and I can do my toenails and breathe at the same time.

8.  I've stopped wishing to be someone else.  Have you ever looked at skinny/healthy/fit/beautiful people and wished that you were them?  I have.  I did it all the time.  I did i****ching movies, the Olympics, The Voice, The Biggest Loser (at the reunion), at work, everywhere.  Now, I'm happy to be me.  I love me.  I don't compare myself to other women and I no longer feel as if I'm "in competition" with them.  If I saw another morbidly obese person when I was 322 lbs I found myself wondering, "Is she bigger than me?"  or "Please tell me I'm smaller than her."  They're horrible thoughts but I bet most of us have thought them.  Now if I see a larger woman or even a larger man I feel like I wanna run up to them and say, "Life doesn't have to be this way.  You deserve better."  Obviously I don't say anything because I don't wanna get punched in the face but I know they're miserable.  I know they are because I was miserable too.

9.  I welcome compliments instead of turn away from them.  They don't even have to be compliments about my weight loss.  I welcome any compliment about anything.  If my work gets complimented I beam.  If my hair style gets a compliment I give it a little flip or twirl.  If my singing voice gets complimented I giggle.  If someone compliments my outfit I strike a pose.  Before, if I got any kind of compliment I'd just say, "No way" or "shut up" and that would be the end of it.  I didn't feel worthy of compliments.  Now they make me feel good.

10.  Sex is better.  I don't wanna get into too much detail on this but I just want to say that my sex life with my boyfriend has completely changed.  In 5 years with him I never let him see my stomach.  I barely let him touch me.  Sex was a once in a great while kind of thing and I never wanted to do it because I didn't feel sexy.  Well, needless to say, that isn't the case anymore.  And my relationship is stronger than ever.  My boyfriend has hinted that I'm getting a special something shiny to put on my finger sometime this year.  

I still have a little ways to go and the weight loss is starting to slow down now that I'm 6 months out.  But these are the big improvements in my life thus far and I know that I have several more to come to me as long as I stay the course.  And I will stay.  

Here's a face pic.   There are also new pics in my profile for my 6 month update.

 

What are some of your "amazing" improvements in your lives??? I'd be interested to hear some of your stories!

You go girl! What a great post. 

Thank you! 

What a wonderful post.  :D

I love that I want to do more things.  When my parents have 3 cords of wood to stack - I WANT to help them.  I want to take walks with my mom when I visit.  I want to exercise.  I want to hang out with friends.  There are so many things that I want to do now.  So I do!  I love this life of mine. 

I love it!  I'm the same way now.  I don't make up excuses as to why I can't do things anymore.  I WANT to do them! 

Amy, I love your post and so much of it rings true for me and I am almost 60 years old!  I'm glad you discovered this new happy life at such a young age!  Congratulations!

Thank you!  I'm so glad you are having the same experiences as me.  It's never too late to make a difference in your life and I'm so happy for you that you've been able to make your life better.

Good for you and he's a lucky guy.  I'm really happy for you.

Thanks so much! 

That is awesome! Thank you for all the great reminders of why this surgery is worth it.

I think the biggest thing for me is that I am now saying "yes" to so many things.  One of things that helped me decide to get the surgery is that I found myself saying no to activities my friends would suggest (walking around Bodega Bay, going to see the elephant seals, hiking).  Pretty much the only thing I would want to do is go wine tasting or out to eat.  Now I love activities that involve movement.  I even signed up for the swimming portion of a sprint triathlon.  Me!! Participating a triathlon!!  That did not even seem like a remote possibility 10 months ago.

Thank you for your "feel good" post!