Now or later? or am I just not ready? Seriously needed advice.

my3angels3173
on 3/1/17 12:11 pm

Once I got a date to remove my band and be sleeved the nerves have taken over.  It's been 12 years since lap-band surgery and I was scared and nervous back then, but got through it. My fear back then was dieing and not seeing my baby girls again. now, after putting back 75 of the 100 lb loss and not being able to get it off with my crazy band, I started the process again.  I'm cleared, in perfect health, got a date for March 16th.. now I'm sick with nerves.   What's holding me back?? life?? wanting to be there for my children's milestones.. what if I  have a complication? I don't want to hurt my kids.. Do I wait? Is this bad feeling I'm having just because I' m overwhelmed with so much going on?

I have two major events coming up... one is end of April, my Son's first Holy Communion. Second, a family trip booked for July to an-inclusive resort in Jamaica for my daughter's Sweet 16.  So my mind set was... ok March.. 1 month before my 8 year old's Communion...I should be well enough... and then by July I will be down 50 lbs (dreaming) and feeling good for Jamaica (ok I won't enjoy all the food and liquor, but Ill deal with it).  Sounds like a plan.

Then my surgeon tells me we may have to remove band FIRST, wait 3 months, then do sleeve (I didn't do my homework, didn't know this, nor did anyone tell me).   Now panic sets in.    Can't possibly have the sleeve Surgery in June?? A month before my daughter's Sweet 16 trip!? Omg what IF there's a complication? What IF I have a leak? I can't ruin this trip my daughter has been waiting and planning for.... it will destroy her. 

If I go ahead with the March date, I may or may NOT  be sleeved.. surgeon determines when he gets in , how much damage THERE IS and if it's safe to sleeve.  The thought of coming out with no band and no sleeve is also freaking me out. What IF I can't control my weight without my tool and put on more weight? I can't!!

Now, I know some will say do what you have to do...take care of you first. To that I say my children are everything to me. I want to be there for them.. I am 51 years old...no spring chicken and my youngest is just 8.... But I don't want to get sick or die just to be skinny either... 

Nobody understands this.. everyone says do it, do it!!  I want it,but IS the timing not right?

What would you do?

 

 

rachelp
on 3/1/17 12:23 pm
VSG on 08/01/16

You don't get sick and die to be skinny...you get sick and die from being morbidly obese and the complications it causes. Your odds of dying from a heart attach or stroke is higher than dying from weightloss surgery complications. Take a deep breath. You are dealing with a lot at once. You are trying to leap when you should be taking steps. Step 1. Get that band out. The longer it stays in, the more damage it will cause. If he can't sleeve you at that time, then figure out step 2 when you can have it done. Step 3.Now figure out a way to prohibit weight gain. Follow a healthy diet plan and track everything you eat and be mindful. You aren't going to gain the weight back overnight.

It's human nature to be nervous but that doesn't mean somethings wrong. No more panicking.  

Sleeved 8/1/16

HW 285 / SW 276 / GW 160

 

 

my3angels3173
on 3/1/17 1:02 pm

Thank you Rach.  Guess its obvious I'm freaking out ? so many things coming up with the kids.. Major anxiety.. I really appreciate your quick reply ð?'?

Readyjwc
on 3/1/17 2:11 pm
VSG on 01/05/17

Well said.

Height 5'4 Starting weight: 225 Surgery weight: 216 Goal Weight: 135 Surgery date: 1/23/17 Portsmouth, NH

The little engine that could.....

Valerie G.
on 3/1/17 12:48 pm - Northwest Mountains, GA

If you don't get the sleeve the first round, you can schedule it AFTER the trip with your daughter.  Easy-peasy.  It doesn't HAVE to be 3 mos.  That's the required healing time before another surgery is all.

Valerie
DS 2005

There is room on this earth for all of God's creatures..
next to the mashed potatoes

my3angels3173
on 3/1/17 12:57 pm

thank you Valerie.

Renee C.
on 3/1/17 6:40 pm - Bellevue, WA
Revision on 02/01/17

Mine was a band to bypass revision but the surgeon said the same thing.  He had no trouble when he went in though, and did the revision just fine in one surgery.  No regrets here.

Stick with it -- I think you'll find yourself glad you did later on. :)

 

Band removal & RNY Feb 1 2017

MonaLyssa33
on 3/1/17 8:05 pm - Minneapolis, MN
VSG on 02/20/17

I never had a band and only had the sleeve done, but I was scared out of my mind the day of surgery. My biggest fear was what would happen to my mom if something happened to me because my mom would be devastated if something happened to me or my siblings. I kept telling myself though that I am a healthy person. I've had no complications and that is a good enough reason to believe that I will be just fine. I was still scared, and the first thing I asked when I woke up was whether or not my mom knew that I was okay, but I made it out of surgery and I've been recovering well. Just keep telling yourself that you are a healthy person and that the surgery will go well because of that.

Highest Weight ~400, Surgery Weight 293, Current Weight 227, Goal Weight 180

Highest BMI: 59.1, Current BMI: 32, Goal BMI: 25

VSG on February 20, 2017

Anita
on 3/2/17 7:08 am, edited 3/1/17 11:08 pm

Band to sleeve revision here.............

so, FIRST bit of advice......take a nice deep breath.......and do it about 10 more times while you use a new mantra......breathe and relax, breathe and relax, breathe and relax.

What I'm reading is that you are getting yourself flustered, upset and scared by all the "what ifs" that could or more likely won't happen.

My doctor had me wait for 3 months between being unbanded and being sleeved. It was okay.....interestingly enough, I had more of a feeling of restriction for the first 6 weeks than I did for the prior year with my band, but I'm sure it was simply a bit of swelling from the surgery. I was careful to follow a proper eating plan leading up to my second procedure and was able to lose some of the weight I had "found" after losing it the first round. Please don't make yourself crazy over this fear....it will be what it will be, so do your best to stay in control.

Next thought, if your surgeon cannot do the band removal and sleeve at the same time, simply plan it for after your trip.....nothing says you MUST have that done exactly at 3 months from when the band comes out. The trip is important to all of you....go....enjoy.....plan the vsg for a week after you come back....or the following month.....there's no time limit.

As to your son's communion, since it's roughly a month from when your band is out, don't sweat it.....less than a week after my band was out, I was out and about like nothing happened....actually that's not quite true....my hiatal hernia was a little better because there wasn't any pressure on it anymore.

You have a wonderful support group here and obviously you know this because you reached out to us.....as well you should, and hopefully some of your fears have been resolved. Yes, you need to do this for you and you know that. Yes, being morbidly obese is more of a health issue than having the surgery, but if you didn't have any concerns at all, that would be a different story. You're human and we all have different emotions and ways of seeing the things that affect our lives.....don't apologize to anyone for being human and don't beat yourself up for having a wide range of emotions....it's life changing - for the GOOD, but it's still life changing. Beyond that, yes, you're no spring chicken, but compared to me, you are .....I had my band out last March and my vsg in June......and turned 71 in November........AND am not only down 63 pounds but am buying clothes in the regular departments....no more plus sizes for me!!! I have gone back to the gym which seems to have slowed down the scale numbers, but I'm putting on muscle which is heavier than fat and more importantly, my clothes are getting looser and looser.

So, go back to breathing and relaxing........this will all work out for you.....just take it slow over the speed bumps!

Good friends are like stars. 
You don't always see them but you always know they're there. 
 

 

 

my3angels3173
on 3/2/17 10:26 am, edited 3/2/17 2:27 am

Thank you Anita, as I sit here in Tears. Im taking deep breaths.. my nerves have gotten the best of me. You look amazing.. 71!!! and 63 pounds!!! Wow..you go girl. Funny, A family member told me I was too old to do this again! LOL

I got so much support here in the past with my lap band that I knew where to turn... the OH family. I'm going to take your's and the other member's advise and take this one step at a time. Sleeve AFTER our trip puts me at ease. That was definitely laying heavily on me.

ANITA, how has it been for you? Any problems with reflux.

And another question to all:

If I am able to be sleeved in March, how would I be expected to be feeling in July and what were you able to eat, 4 months out? Will I be able to drink on vacation?

Thanks again for the love and support.

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