6 months out and bad habits coming back

Jfitz1211
on 4/13/18 3:30 pm
VSG on 10/03/17

hello all,

im about 6 1/2 months out from vsg. My highest weight was 275 & starting weight from the morning of surgery was 222 and today I'm around 170lbs (I'm 5'5). I was doing well with exercising and eating the right things but 2 months ago I started trying more foods (the bad ones) like breads and sweets. Plus I can eat a lot of them and I pick them over my protein . I find myself addicted to them again! I try and try to change this. I do fine for a day and then I screw up. In March I was down to 161 lbs. my doctor wants me to be around 146lbs by october my year anniversary. Anyways I have this huge mental struggle going on. I look in the mirror and I don't recognize myself but at the same time I feel like I'm 275 lbs again also my hair is short and it's always been long but I cut it because it was falling out. ? maybe I have body dysmorphia . I feel like a failure and that I got this surgery for nothing. I thought I would be happy losing weight but I'm not, sure I don't have foot pain anymore, I can run 3 miles and do activities a lot easier now and you think I'd be more grateful and happy. I just find myself being moody and depressed. I work with a therapist and I'm seeing a psychiatrist in May to possibly get some type of depression meds. I guess I'm just wondering if anyone else has felt like this or had the same experience. I really hope this will pass and it's just my hormones. I really don't want to take any meds, but I don't want to screw all this up either. Also my "Aunt Flo" hasn't came for almost 2 months but I'm not pregnant I know for sure plus I have an Iud. I'm just hoping I'll get out of this funk soon and start losing again... thanks for letting me vent

(deactivated member)
on 4/13/18 4:45 pm
VSG on 01/12/17

The best thing for me is "out of sight out of mind" do not buy those things. Easier said than done if you have a family. Are you logging everything you eat, even the bad things? Seeing what it does to your daily caloric intake might push you into avoiding it more and more.

Jfitz1211
on 4/13/18 7:48 pm, edited 4/13/18 12:53 pm
VSG on 10/03/17

I was logging them but for the last week I?ve kinda given up on it. I will even make my meals and not eat them. I do have a family and my mother lives here also my husband eats healthy with me but he still likes his snacks, but they aren?t super bad things. I was doing well at one point with having a little bit of things here and there, and charting it but it just got out of control recently. But today I decided enough is enough. I can?t do this to myself anymore. Thank you for your input :)

(deactivated member)
on 4/13/18 9:21 pm
VSG on 01/12/17

I wish you all the luck. It is a long journey and at over a year out there are times I make bad choices at times. Don't let one bad choice make you make another! We all have to learn and reign in our bad habits. I know I did! Those pesky bad habits know all our weaknesses to make us want them, like a bad ex.

Jfitz1211
on 4/14/18 8:12 am
VSG on 10/03/17

Thank you!!

CC C.
on 4/13/18 6:13 pm

Have you seen a therapist? It's important to understand the mechanism behind sabotaging yourself and learn how to stop it. And I agree with Mersh - don't bring that stuff in the house. You can't eat it if it isn't available.

Jfitz1211
on 4/13/18 7:51 pm
VSG on 10/03/17

Hello, yes I have been seeing a therapist for about a year but now I've started to see her once a month and she helps me, but I just lose sight of the things she tells me after a few days and I resort back to my self sabotaging behaviors. I just know I can't do this to myself anymore. I just hate feeling like this and today after writing this all out made me realize enough is enough.

CC C.
on 4/13/18 8:10 pm

Maybe more often would help to reinforce the things you're working on with her?

Jfitz1211
on 4/13/18 9:02 pm
VSG on 10/03/17

Yes I think you're right About that

Jfitz1211
on 4/14/18 8:16 am
VSG on 10/03/17

I see her next week and I'm gonna ask her about that. She is always booked she does let me schedule 2 appts at a time but they usually are a month out at least. Plus my schedule bc I have a little one I cannot take to my appointments. Today is a new day though and I'm feeling positive so hoping it will reflect on my choices I make today! I really appreciate your help ?

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