Family....SMH

memfis_stefie
on 1/8/19 7:45 am
VBG on 01/01/19

So I've done all my requirements and insurance approved (real quickly I night add) and I let my family know and at first my mom was in my corner and now she's switched and is not wanting me to do it as well as my aunt who has been against it from the beginning. I know it's because they love me and care for me and they've watched and heard stories of people either not coming out from being put under or unstoppable bleeding or infections that lead to their deaths. I know with any surgery there are risks for complications plain and simple. I just wish I had more support from them but I know as the saying goes you can wish in one hand and spit in the other and see which one gets filled first lol Has anyone on here had push back from their families over this? I have to go get my labs and EGD done then after that if all is well I will meet with my dr and go over my surgery date.

MissSunshineCo
on 1/8/19 9:06 am
VSG on 10/15/18

It must be hard... I know that having someone in your corner can do wonders.

I was blessed where my sister and I went through the procedure together, so I always had someone.

One thing is though, I will i had done it earlier in life.

Good luck! I hope that you make the decision that's best for you, and you alone.

Surgery Date: 10/15/2018 Female 5'5"

~~ HW: 213 SW: 202.4 CW: 158.6 GW: 145 ~~

Let the weight loss begin!!

Gwen M.
on 1/8/19 9:53 am
VSG on 03/13/14

I'm sorry that your family isn't supportive! Can you take them to support group meetings so they can see and hear from post-op people?

Thankfully you don't actually need their support to do this, even though it would certainly be helpful to have it. Let them know that you're going to do this, for your health and with the approval of your medical professionals, and that they don't need to spend their time trying to talk you out of it. When they try, redirect the conversation by changing the subject. Don't bring the topic up yourself, because you know they're not going to react well.

Hopefully they'll get on board :)

VSG with Dr. Salameh - 3/13/2014
Diagnosed with Binge Eating Disorder and started Vyvanse - 7/22/2016
Reconstructive Surgeries with Dr. Michaels - 6/5/2017 (LBL & brachioplasty), 8/14/2017 (UBL & mastopexy), 11/6/2017 (medial leg lift)

Age 41 Height 5'4" HW 319 (1/3/2014) SW 293 (3/13/2014) CW 149 (7/16/2017)
Next Goal 145 - normal BMI | Total Weight Lost 170

TrendWeight | Food Blog (sort of functional) | Journal (down for maintenance)

guyute111
on 1/8/19 10:52 am

Sounds like their objections are coming from a place of concern for you at least.

The bottom line for me when speaking with my family was that the data tells us that with regard to serious complications from VSG procedure the rate is around .08% that is less than 1%. If your speaking about the probability that being obese will seriously affect your health at some point in the future that rate is 100%. Those long term consequences of obesity are guaranteed and those would include things like heart disease, stroke, diabetes, arthritis, etc.

memfis_stefie
on 1/8/19 11:26 am
VBG on 01/01/19

See I agree with that and have tried to do that but o well, family is family. It is out of concern for sure. They clearly know my reasons but I think my aunt has scared my mom but I'm still doing this, of course that is if all looks fine with the testing. I have other support from friends which has been helpful. Thanks for your input!

Doyenne
on 1/9/19 4:18 am

I will add to what was mentioned above...I had this done when I was 56. I was really thinking about it when I was 45, but I was afraid of what people would think of me, or of them being unsupportive. Well, in retrospect I could kick myself. It's my body, my life, my health. I could have had a decade of my life more living as a normal weight person, able to be "in the picture" so to speak, not always standing on the periphery of events. I could have worn pretty clothes, tried tennis, skiing, running. I could have had confidence in myself, my professional presence, off high blood meds.... a decade! I thought back then, that there were too many unknowns so I held off. And I am really very sorry I did. Is life after surgery perfect? No! At this point I have to really watch my weight again. The tool helps but people can regain. So there is no magic bullet but having been sleeved has gotten me to this point. Healthy weight. Healthy life. And no regrets. You must do all the research for yourself, weight the pros, cons, and what will ultimately help you reach the best decision for you. But.... being healthy in our short lives is important. We don't get a do-over.

HW 290. Start weight 229. Day of Surgery 209. Month 2: 190. Month 3: 182. Month 4: 174. Month 5: 164. Month 6: 159. Month 7: 153. Month 8: 147. Month 9: 145. Month 10: 142. Month 11: 138 Month 12: 137. Month 13: 139 Month 14: 131. Month 15: 130. Month 16: 131. Month 17: 128. 162 pounds lost!!

AnnieG522
on 1/9/19 7:22 am
VSG on 10/05/17

We support you, and I know its not the same as family but we are here! I did have a complication with my surgery and had a second repair that day and 2 units of blood. That said, I was out of the hospital in 2 day,s felt fine and no other issues. I was also 65, so maybe not more likely to have problems, but recovery can be harder. And it was great.

The biggest help for me was the support of people here, and also on www.verticalgasticsleeve.com Hearing other people who are walking your journey really helps. My family & physicians were all on board, but a little concerned. A year + out and they are over the moon with my results.

Hold the course! They'll rejoice when they see your good health on the other side.

HW: 240 lbs CW: 205 lbs: SW: 199 lbs GW: 130 lbs

1 MO = 167.0
2 MO = 156.4
3 MO = 148.4
4 MO = 140.6
5 MO = 136.0
6 MO = 130.0 (GOAL)
1 YR = 122.0
Inches: 50.5 lost

Pure_Prairie
on 1/12/19 3:31 pm
VSG on 01/10/19

First, congrats on getting this far! It isn't an easy decision but it is an important one.

This forum is great for asking questions, and getting much needed support.

Best wishes on your journey, no matter what you decide.

Amy B

Valerie G.
on 1/14/19 1:47 pm - Northwest Mountains, GA

The best answer you can give that they cannot argue is "it's okay that you don't understand my need to do this".....then drop the mic and continue on.

Valerie
11 years post op DS 
There is room on this earth for all of God's creatures..next to the mashed potatoes

GrammySusan
on 1/17/19 1:38 pm

My husband was not supportive as he is narcissistic and self-centered but he did try to be helpful. He made several pureed soups for me before surgery and kept an eye on me during my days of recovery. Now that it is almost 3 months post vsg his attitude is much warmer and i am very thankful for that.

As he is the way he is I have learned (through therapy and reading) to be my own cheerleader and encourager. Even though I was not as heavy as some at the beginning of this process and 30 pounds less than my highest weight ever, and though i lost 30 pounds on the pre-op diet plan I still went through with the surgery. I knew if i did not have the vsg i would slowly regain year after year. I did this for me and i did it while it was covered by my insurance. It has been TOTALLY WORTH IT!

I pray you are successful!

HW 230, START WT 201, SLEEVE WT 171, CW 149, GW 130

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