Have you ever experienced this?

Hello All

I will like your feedback. I know someone who had the lap band over 2 years now. She lost a lot of weight and looks really good. When she had the weight on she advised me of how depressed she was, how she didnt go out and enjoy life. She stayed home with her husband with what she says was a boring life. (SHIELDING HERSELF FROM THE OUTSIDE WORLD).

Now that she has lost and has been able to maintain her weight she is now down to a 10/12 and love it. She goes out more, she gets the attention and love it. She told me that she ran into an old friend and he adores her. He wants to take her out and is very attentive to her. She loves this attention and doesnt feel she get any at home.

Recently she did it, she stepped out and had a date with someone other than her husband and feel alive again. She states she dont know what to do but she never want to be back in a shell again. I ask her to do counseling. She states her husband will not go. So for now it seems as if she is slowly moving on. She feels more support and appreciated from him more so than her husband.

Any opinons? Have anyone faced something similar after finding a new you.....

Thanks guys

Step away from her problems, you don't need the headaches.

lol....your right and I am

just curious -thanks

My experience is only anecdotal.  What happened to your friend is not unheard of.  I hope she gets some counseling as you advised her to do.  If her husband won't go, she needs to go by herself.  Maybe her marriage is worth saving, maybe it isn't.  However, this is too big of life change to go about it blindly. 

ETA:  Pumpkin replied while I was still typing... I agree.  It's not your problem so you may need some distance to keep you own sanity.  Just like some marriages aren't worth saving, some friendships bite the dust as well.  If you can support her, fine.  If her behavior is too toxic for you to tolerate, back off.

What I've noticed about myself is that I like who I am better now than I did 2 years.  Things that were acceptable  back then are out of the  question now.  I haven't had an affair or anything but I've been really tempted with a man I know. I know that he has the same reaction to me as I to him. Don't get me wrong.  My husband is a good man. But he is retired and his life is centered around the TV, sleeping in the reclining chair, drinking his coffee, and smoking his precious cigarettes.  There are times I fell like I'm coming in  a distant fifth.  The other gentleman is 8 months older than my husband, still works,  and doesn't want to vegetate like people  in the nursing home that he does consulting for. (he's also a widower)  I know I need counseling to help me sort out  my problems.
It's just that life is to short to let it pass me by.  I spent 10 months in hospitals and rehab to get over complications from surgery.  I don't want to be like the patients in the nursing home sitting on my ass and having every done for me.
Thanks for listening.

thanks for sharing

If she doesn't feel appreciated at home, she should leave. Not sure it should be any more complicated than that. A loveless marriage is no place for a man or a woman. Cheating isn't the answer, but leaving might be.

I know nothing, but I think the first step should be to see a marriage counselor together with her husband to see if things can be worked out with him.  The grass isn't always greener on the other side.

If marriage counseling doesn't work, then I believe being honest with each other and separating on good terms is better than staying in the relationship and cheating.