Bad food day.

on 7/1/11 3:42 pm - asfasdfasdfds, CA
I went from 274 to a low of 118 (on a 5ft 4 very hippy / hour glass type frame). Now I was up to 137 :-( a week ago. Through watching what I've been eating I'm back to 133, however the fact that I'm over 130 is making me so obsessively sad. I remember all the time I spent being in the 200's and the thought that I could be sad about my weight at 130-something seems unbelievable, yet here it is.
I feel like a failure whenever I eat, even though I know I need to in order to survive. When I get stressed the first thing I want to do is restrict, since I know I won't be hungry even if I don't eat. It feels like an area that I can control.
Everyone around me says I look awful when I hit the 11-s, so why does it feel like I should be back there and that that's the only acceptable weight? Why do I beat myself up for eating?
Ugh. I fail at just being skinny apparently.

RNY Surgery 10/22/2008   Heaviest Weight 274  Pre-op Weight 268/272(?)  Currently 127! One-derland! DOWN 147 POUNDS- More than I weigh now! Goal 125 (impossible?)


(deactivated member)
on 7/1/11 4:05 pm - CA
  I don't 5'4" and 130 you are well under the normal BMI range if you just go by that and don't account for muscle mass... my daughter is  your height and weighs 162 and beats herself up about it all the time.. I mean she can do the incline in a hour, how is that not fit? Just some thoughts about my daughter, some you might have in common too...?  IDK

I wish she would stop comparing herself to other girls who may be slimmer, because she is beautiful, and at the weight she is at now  which may seem like nothing to people here, it can go up over the years and she is working hard to maintain and lose, it's how becoming obese starts- it did for me, I wasn't an obese child. I became obese over the years, and the focus on slimness is just ridiculous it makes girls with healthy body types feel like they don't measure up. This is mostly due to the media's idealization of what is beautiful, even if you are alt- hey skinny is the thing there right? and other girls buying it and selling it, and all that competition bull**** and put downs IMO. My fitnesspal is full of it and so much arguing and misinformation.

You might want to look at who your role models are and who you are comparing yourself too as far as the skinny part. All or nothing thinking really sucks too     :)

on 7/1/11 6:45 pm
Hi there, you are absoutley beautiful just the way you are. I think we have all been where you are. The numbers get addicting and always want to be at the lowest possible weight. How do you feel is important? Is your BMI in normal range? I would go by BMI. If you do really want to go down some have you tried I love that program and do it when I need to get myself back on track. It is free but highly reccomend the 25 dollar version you can buy. Good luck and you are gorgeous.......... nothing to worry about HUGZ
(deactivated member)
on 7/1/11 10:25 pm - Bayonne, NJ
sounds like a normal bounceback and you're definitely in the normal range for your body height. I don't think you should obsess too much abou this. You're not a failure. We all eat, we are human, we have to eat.

Body image is so messed up for most of us. You might want to talk with a counselor. I have been going to someone on and off for quite some time, and she's helped quite a bit. I also think that I feel more positive about my body when I'm working out, so maybe doing some physical exercise to tone would make you appreciate yourself more. I dunno, works for me.

I'm 5' 3", 163, so I'm certainly chubbier than you are - and I'm normal. I look normal, people like the way I look. If I were to get down to the low 100s I'd probably look like skeletor.