Loose Skin and Self Acceptance (X post)

Hi all ....

My postop success includes loose skin.  No surprise there.  There is no stomach skin sitting on my lap nor any skin complications.  My primary care doc has even commented on how well my skin has done.  Victoria's Secret and I have figured out how to, er, engineer a pleasing line for certain parts. Next year I will be 50, so I figure anyone who sees me nekkid (I am single) would have to deal with some wrinkles and sags ... part of life, right?

A month ago, I was amused when my granddaughter suddenly realized I have bat wings.  We were swimming, so they kind of float around a bit and she was amazed, told me it was "weird" and especially seemed curious about the idea that losing weight didn't mean the skin shrunk (she is a curious little 8 yr old!).

Two nights ago, after singing in a terrific concert, one of my fellow choir members came to me and asked if she could ask a personal question about weight loss, wanting to know if I had lost a lot of weight because of how my arms look.

Truth be told, I get a lot of comments about how cut my shoulders and arms are overall.  So the attention lately to the loose skin on my arms has been weird.

So I got to thinking, I do okay wearing sleeveless and short sleeve things, but know I prefer 3/4 to full sleeves.  I never wear short skirts or shorts because my thighs are the area with the most most loose skin.  And I wonder if the last stubborn 15 pounds might not just be attributable to the extra skin.

The behavior/clothing adjustments are workable and fine.  We all have our styles we like.  And I do feel quite all right in my swimsuits (I love having a wardrobe of them!).  But lately, I have been wondering about plastics ... is it vain?  Is it a denial of my age and stage in life?  I don't NEED them ... but sometimes they seem like a real good idea .....

Where do y'all sit on that whole concept of self acceptance, age acceptance, and whatnot? 

Thanks,
Janice

I say do what you want. If you are fine with how you look then anyone who is
rude enough to come up and comment needs to stuff it. Other then a nine
year old, cause children are the only ones that are allowed to say something.
 They always tell the truth in my opinion, on stuff like this.

 Only have surgery if
1. it is medically necessary  
2. YOU WANT IT.

For me and I repeat, for me I am having my arms done. The hanging skin bothers
me, it is painful and heavy for me. And when I can wear a size xs in a tank top but still have to buy xl in a shirt with sleeves it is devastating to me.
 My choice.
If you are considering it, then keep
up with the investigating. This site and the wonderful people on here are amazing.
I have been "lurking" on the plastics board and reading about other peoples
experiences. Take your time and the answer will come to you.

Best of luck,
Dani

Thanks, Dani .... you are confirming what I am thinking (lurking and it being about what works for me) .... congrats on your incredible success  :-)

I'm 56 and there's a few of things I do that a couple of women roll their eyes.  During the summer, I wear a lot of sun dresses and I show my arms with PRIDE for all that I've accomplished.  If someone has a problem with it, it's their problem, not mine.  Until I get my pannilectomy, I refuse to get a bathing suit. (i'm 2 different sizes, which makes it hard).  So, I have a pair of swimming shorts with a sports bra.  I let the neo white, slightly sagging abdomen skin show. Some women might not like it, but the men check me out, no matter what I wear!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm having my pannilectomy done on this coming Thursday.

Thanks Kathleen!  I hope everything goes well next week.

Have plastics IF YOU REALLY WANT that surgery. I seriously doubt you'll lose 15 pounds during surgery. My support groups have a well known plastics surgeon speak to our groups about once a year.  He has routinely stated NOT to expect a major loss of wt from removed skin.  Arm and thigh surgeries are difficult for many to recover from --much more pain than your wt loss surgery, compression garments and issues with mobility without much pain.  You might expect around 8 pounds (give or take) if you had upper arm and thigh surgeries. You'll have some visible scars that diminish over time, usually about a year--you'll have to keep these areas from sunlight to minimize scarring during this year too. DAVE

Thanks, Dave.  I appreciate your insight and information.

My arm surgery was a breeze, virtually no pain or swelling, my only issue a popped stitch is my arm pit which disolved on its own.  I had surgery on Wednesday and was driving and back to work on Sunday, within a month I was lugging a 50lb suitcase through the airport.  Its different for everyone, the compression garment felt supportive, its just elastic sleeves, restricted nothing, its was an easy surgery to me and the pain was non existant compared to my open rny.

 It sounds like we are very similar (coming up on 50 in December).  I have no hanging skin per se, but it could definitely be tighter.  When I look at friends the same age, they are really not that much different although they might fill in their batwings a little bit more :)  Maybe if I won  a huge lottery, I would consider a lower body lift (I  don't even know if any surgeon would do one on me to be honest or if there would be enough to pull up.  Anyway, as far as I'm concerned, if you can afford it and it would make you happy, go for it!  Why not?

That's just it, Sandy.  I am in the same "eh" zone.  It would be nice, I suppose, but is it worth the cost and do I need it for my own self acceptance?  I don't think my self-acceptance or self-esteem are suffering, so the cost would be high, in my opinion.

Janice