on 8/29/11 6:34 am - Ashby, MN
So I was wondering if there are people out there who have lost friends....I know that the friends that I seem to have lost were not overweight at all (around size 10/12) and until I got down to a smaller size than they are (size 6/8 now) they never had an issue, or at least that is what I thought until recently when they have stopped returning calls, texts and have started talking about me behind my back.  I don't think I have changed, maybe I am little more aware of what I eat but that is about it.  I am still happily married, have the same job, go to the same places, enjoy the same things, and can actually manage to do those things now, and now that I am not the "fat friend", the one who just goes along when they shop to tell them what looks good, they don't want me around at all.  Funny isn't it, they were all really supportive of my having the surgery and wanted to know all about it until I actually did it....
Dave Chambers
on 8/29/11 6:55 am - Mira Loma, CA
Common topic at support groups. Scenario noted in discussions is typically the same.  Being a larger person, women would have a circle of friends, all smaller than they were preop.  But, once they lost wt, they lost friends for a variety of issues.  Once you're the same size or smaller than your "friends", then you get more attention at work or in public, and they are not the center of attention anymore.  You're not the only one with this issue. DAVE

Dave Chambers, 6'3" tall, 365 before RNY, 185 low, 200 currently. My profile page: product reviews, tips for your journey, hi protein snacks, hi potency delicious green tea, and personal web site.
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(deactivated member)
on 8/29/11 7:25 am - Winnipeg, Canada
They were not TRUE friends. As hard as it is, it's their loss. Seems rather superfical not to be friends anymore. Join a club, take a art class, a true friend never leaves you.
(deactivated member)
on 8/29/11 7:27 am, edited 8/29/11 7:31 am
 i was never  the " fatfreind "  who guarded the hand bags  at the club ... but yes  I know what U mean.

I  guess  it was  OK  that I  was a beautiful woman who excited all theguys as long as  the women could point out  ( behind my back of course  )  how FAT  i  really was .....

when i became REAL   competition   suddenly   i stopped getting INVITED  by self same women lol

U know what GRRLFRIEND 

go DOWN  a generation   when this Happens  
date  CUTER   date HOTTER     dateYOUNGER  date RICHER      

And THEN make the B  es  go REALLY  crazy  - MARRY   the guy  if U Like  lol 

U KNOW  why theyre  going Crazy Right ?   Cuz U ARE   all That  And ten Bags of Chips  GRRL  !!!  
Kathleen W.
on 8/29/11 7:29 am - Lancaster, PA
Linda is so right. They aren't true friends and jealous of   the attention you are getting.  They're also mad that you are now smaller than them.  You are to good to for the childish behavior that they're exhibiting.

SW 327
GW 150
CW 126


Elizabeth N.
on 8/29/11 7:52 am - Burlington County, NJ
Emily F.
on 8/29/11 8:40 am
DS on 04/05/10 with
Yup, happened to me too. It bites but I focus on my true friends.
on 8/29/11 9:28 am - Kennewick, WA
Yes, I read this story every week. Sucks big time too, I'm sorry you're going through this.
on 8/29/11 11:55 am - Mason, MI
Yes, I have to say this is ultra common and yes it happened to me too!  I've lost friends who are both "skinny" and "overweight".  I am not sure my surgery has 100% to do with it, as a lot of us have had a shuffling of our jobs which has resulted in us all not hanging out as much.

I've made amazing new friends though, and I just remind myself that it is completely normal!! 

I have been told A LOT though that I am such a "different" person now!  Well, no I'm really not!  I am just exactly the way I've always wanted to be and have been I just hadn't had the body to do till now! 

So thankful for my DS! 1/20/2012 - SW 290/CW 155 - 1 year to lose, 1.5 years and counting maintaining! 

A Run With Meghan (My Running Blog)

My First Half Marathon: Fort For Fitness (9/24/2011): 2:22:58
My Frist Marathon: Marine Corps (10/30/2011):
My First Sprint Triathlon: Trek Series (8/7/2011): 1:55:18

on 8/29/11 1:00 pm
DS on 08/20/07 with
You might also consider that it IS you who have changed. Are all you can talk about how thin you are and what new lower size you are now wearing? Do you fake complain of all the smaller clothes you have to buy?

Do you ever tsk tsk others food choices or complain about the WLS-inappropriate food at work or social events?

Give yourself a test and go one week without mentioning weight, sizes, food, exercise, or anything at ALL even remotely related to your weight loss surgery. To ANYONE. If you find that difficult to do, you may very well have been difficult to be around.
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DS SW 265 CW 120 5'7"