Limiting myself ?

Becky D.
on 11/6/11 12:00 am - North Bay, Canada
I am beginning to notice that I may be limiting myself - subtley sabbotaging my success by intentionally not diving in entirely and grasping this window of opportunity in the few months post op ...
I had surgery in August, and assured myself that I would embrace the opportunity to drop the weight I need to be healthy ... though beneath that I have a fear of getting a little "gung ho" about dropping weight, and shrinking into an "issue" ... Overall - I am struggling with "control issues" about this process, when I should be enjoying every minute and letting the weight take care of itself as it does post-op when I do what I know I should ...

Any input would be so appreciated ... I am concerned that I am wasting my time worried when I ought to be loving every minute of it !!!

Thnx - Bec
Referral Spring/10 ~ Questionnaire Dec 27/10 ~ HRRH Info Session Jan 31/11 ~       Surgeon mtg/Gastric Class April 29/11 ~ Dietician/Social Worker May 30/11 ~
Dr. STARR meeting May 31/11
 ~ INTERNIST JULY 18 / PATTS JULY 19 ~ 
SURGERY AUGUST 19, 2011         My ANGEL is Karen M  
     
(deactivated member)
on 11/6/11 12:46 am - Woodbridge, VA
I don't understand - what is it exactly you think you're doing "wrong?" Being a control freak? I would rather be a "control freak" and make it to goal ASAP than let the weight loss "take care of itself" and end up struggling to continue losing weight at 2+ years post-op.
Becky D.
on 11/6/11 1:55 am - North Bay, Canada
the "take care of itself" aspect is that I know what I need to do, how to do it and have the tools to do it now post surgery ... and I am having trouble trusting the changes, that they will stay, and that I wont screw it up ... left over fears from the past I guess.
i think I need to get out of my own way, and let this process (because I am following the steps) do what it is meant to do ... does that make more sense ?
Referral Spring/10 ~ Questionnaire Dec 27/10 ~ HRRH Info Session Jan 31/11 ~       Surgeon mtg/Gastric Class April 29/11 ~ Dietician/Social Worker May 30/11 ~
Dr. STARR meeting May 31/11
 ~ INTERNIST JULY 18 / PATTS JULY 19 ~ 
SURGERY AUGUST 19, 2011         My ANGEL is Karen M  
     
(deactivated member)
on 11/6/11 1:14 am
Becky, change is frightening.  You lived your entire life a certain way.  Fear of the unknown can sabotage results.  This is a great time to journal about fear and to perhaps see a therapist to assist you with this HUGE transition.  You are very wise to have noticed this.  Many, if not most, plow through without considering some deeper issues (challenges) in their lives.

Best,
Becky D.
on 11/6/11 1:58 am - North Bay, Canada
Thanks for sharing your wisdom, I will keep this in mind, and get back to the journalling tool that I know works well for me, it helped bring me to be ready for the surgery itself ...
thanks again, I needed that :)
Referral Spring/10 ~ Questionnaire Dec 27/10 ~ HRRH Info Session Jan 31/11 ~       Surgeon mtg/Gastric Class April 29/11 ~ Dietician/Social Worker May 30/11 ~
Dr. STARR meeting May 31/11
 ~ INTERNIST JULY 18 / PATTS JULY 19 ~ 
SURGERY AUGUST 19, 2011         My ANGEL is Karen M  
     
(deactivated member)
on 11/7/11 12:19 am
I think habits develop even when we are not expecting them too and the WLS is the avenue for those new habits.
I, like you, am a total control freak.  Knowing that, I decided to use that part of me to its fullest during my first post-surgical year and have developed a routine that works for me--journaling my food, activity and weighing daily.  Most generally, this routine offers me positive reinforcement in the way of controlled calories and lost weight and did just that, without fail, during my 12 months after surgery.  I started the habit when success was likely and the task was not burdensome.
Now, a little over a year later, I feel like I am in a good place--maintaining with some good habits, for me, in place.
I also think the first year is prime time for some mental health help.  It is a time full of significant life changes and is a great opportunity to deal with some head junk. 
Wishing you the best~
Becky D.
on 11/7/11 8:43 pm - North Bay, Canada
Thanks for sharing - that sounds like a very sensible way to approach, in fact I may go that way as well and just embrace the whole thing and strive toward developing good habits and strong discipline, instead of worrying that if I go too far in that direction I will go overboard ! lol 
I have done alot of the "head work" in the years before surgery - now is "where the rubber hits the road" as they say and I need to trust myself and put it into action - knowing that I can live within healthy boundaries and be introspective enough to evaluate when I am wavering AT THAT TIME ... not fearing it in advance !  Grrrrrr to anxiety and "fortune telling" and trying to forsee the future ...
I have determined to let go of that fear, and do what I know is healthy with all of my intensity to take full advantage of this great moment in time - getting my life back is a great positive reinforcer as you say ... I will work hard to stay focused on that and live in the now as this positive change continues!!!!

Thanks again - you helped me formulate a clearer plan.

Bec
Referral Spring/10 ~ Questionnaire Dec 27/10 ~ HRRH Info Session Jan 31/11 ~       Surgeon mtg/Gastric Class April 29/11 ~ Dietician/Social Worker May 30/11 ~
Dr. STARR meeting May 31/11
 ~ INTERNIST JULY 18 / PATTS JULY 19 ~ 
SURGERY AUGUST 19, 2011         My ANGEL is Karen M  
     
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