What happened to simply being nice???

So far my journey has been wonderful but the more weight I lose, the more I find that people are just mean, inconsiderate, and just plain out tactless.  I should be feeling great about myself right now and I DO!  However, some days my self esteem seems to hit rock bottom just depending on who I run into on that day!  Have you ever been to a video game place that has the game with the hamsters that pop up and you hit them with the mallet??  Ok..I'm about to buy me a mallet.  Here are just a few example of what I have heard this weekend....

Husband:  "You really shouldn't lose anymore weight because your frame is too big and you will look awkward."  Really??  And he wonders why we aren't having sex and why he is about to be an ex.

Husband's Aunt at Church:  "Wow are you still starving yourself? You really should stop because your face looks odd and your neck is too thin.  You should consider wearing turtlenecks."  Yes she said that in church.  This gives new meaning to "Jesus just saved your life!"  Thanks Madea. LOL

Neighbor at the Mexican Restaurant:  "I'm not sure what you are doing but you should stop...enough is enough!"  I wanted so bad to ask her if she wanted the name of my doctor.

Ok  enough ranting.  When did people become so comfortable with saying exactly what they were thinking and not considering anyone else's feelings.  I'm going to chalk it up to jealousy and walk away from it.  At 185 lbs as of this morning,  I feel great and I think I'm looking pretty awesome.  They will not take that from me!

i would say it sounds like jelous see to me and the husband exspecially i think hes worried your looking hot and other men may notice. but yes people are mean there mean when your fat and i guess when your losing there mean too. I think people think we have no feelings we deserve to be treated badly. I feel your pain just like the nurse that asked me to drink some thing from the garbage these things hurt do people not think.

It seems many people just don't have a fliter!  Take it with a grain of salt....just tell them that you are under the care of a doctor and he/she knows what is best for you.  We change so quickly I think people have a hard time adjusting to the new us....heck, even we have a hard time and we see ourselves each day. 

Some of the comments are well meaning, some are meant to pierce like a knife, and some, well, are just observations that should not have made it past the filter..........HAD THEIR BEEN ONE.

Please do not let other's comments shape how you feel about yourself.  Just smile, turn away and laugh all the way to the display with the teeny tiny jeans you need to fit your new hiney!!

Kim

LOL...you are right.  My best friend was sitting beside me in church when the comment was made.  She grabbed my hand and said that I was rocking my new skinny skirt and boots. LOL  I love her...then again she may not have been supporting me and could have been holding my hand so that I didn't slug her.  Anyhoo...some people just can't help themselves!

Yes it is a shame that there is no cure for stupidity!!!!!!!!

Audra

No cure at all!

I really know where you are coming from. I have pretty much given up on finding anyone with any tact these days. Yes, people can be downright nasty. No one thinks before they speak anymore. And its depressing to say the least.  And some are like snakes....they strike when they feel threatened.

But we forge on.....ignore them is all I can say....

You are correct...  Maybe high schools should offer classes in tact and being nice now. 

In this society....I'm afraid that would be politically incorrect, and offend those who thrive on being a**holes....

 With RNY surgery it is normal to quickly lose 100 pounds.  For most people that will happen at about one year, some people will be there at six months.  After that 100 pound loss the weight loss will generally stop or slow to almost nothing until sometime between 18 months and 36 months after surgery.  There will be little weight loss but also little or no regain.

There will be a fairly rapid regain of about 20 pounds after the honeymoon period ends.  During the honeymoon period it is common for a person to look too skinny.  It is extremely rare to see someone who still looks too skinny after the end of year three.

Instead of getting mad, I would take the time to explain to people that I was not starving myself, that I was under a doctor's care and that there would be regain later, so I needed to use my surgery honeymoon period to lose as much weight as possible.  My goal was to get to 20 pounds under my surgeon's goal weight so as to have a cushion to be at goal after the bounceback weight gain.