I need advice..weight gain...family

I have posted before and received lots of help, I need some advice again... I am 2years post op...I have regained about 10 pounds.. Today my mother said that she thought I was gaining weight, and was concerned.  I felt like that little kid again, and  my first reaction was to o eat... I didn't but it stirred up old feelings..before wls I ate my emotions... I no longer do that, but she made me fee that way again.   I do not know how to handle her comments.. I appreciate her concer..she doesn't realize that everyday ofmylife I wake up and think of my wls.. I have pictures to remind me of who I was..I weigh myself daily.. I go to the gym...

How do you recommend I handle this?

 

Thanks

 

Helen 

You look amazing and I totally can understand what you are going through with your mom.  I have spent most of my life with my mom saying - "oh... you need to loose weight, you are so beautiful when you are thin"  but it was her that influenced me to take the larger portions, finish whats on my plate, etc. - oh well, anyway.  I finally got comfortable with me - through councelling and realizing that if I was going to be large then I was going to be large - and if my mom didn't like it, it didn't matter.  

Now that I have lost 54 lbs, and i have 45 more to go- she doesn't say anything. 

If I were you, find that strength inside that gave you the courage to make the change in your life like WLS and then tell her what you need from her - if that means you tell her that you need her to not make those kind of comments - then tell her.

I am dealing with aging parents and I am an only child, so I totally understand the parent thing.  Good luck to you.
Elizabeth

Thank you so much Elizabeth...

I tell people that it is normal to have a bounceback weight gain in the third year after surgery.  It is the body's way of recovering from what it senses as starvation. It learns to absorb more calories and we gain some weight.

How much of a bounce back??

 Almost everyone gains around 20 pounds between years two and three.  Fifty percent of RNY postops regain 50% of their lost weight by year five.  There is more gain between years five and ten. RNY gets the weight off, but its malabsorption, lack of hunger, and lack of ability to eat much volume all wear off.  I found Weigh****chers the best way to keep control.  

RNY puts you on a level playing field with other people who fight weight gain.  It is still a matter of diet and exercise after the magic honeymoon when weight falls off and stays off with almost no effort.

Telling you this might seem cruel.  It is like saying that there is no Santa.  But not telling you is much crueler.  I have seen so many people who thought that their weight struggle and dieting days ended on the surgery table.  That is so not true.  Without diligence, the weight will return.

Thank you all for your advice!!!

Helen 

Mom, I appreciate your concern.  I monitor my weight regularly and am working with my surgeon, dietician, whomever, to maintain my weight at a healthy level.  Weight is a very emotional issue for me, so I'd prefer it if you didn't commend on it.  Can you do that for me?

Thank you Kelly!!!

Poet-Kelly's suggested response is a boundary setting discussion.  Very adult like conversation to have.  Otherwise you are falling back into child-parent behaviours.

Judy