Struggling and need some moral support!

katier825
on 11/20/12 7:11 pm

Hi everyone.  I haven't been on here regularly for a while...lots of new people out here I see.  For those that don't know me, I am 2 years out and reached my goal of 140 in just 6.5 months.  I was easily maintaining it until several months ago when lots of stress came into my life.  I was given an "opportunity" for a different job at work (forced into it for those who aren't familiar with the way "opportunities" work).  I HATE my job.  Everything changed, new boss, coworkers, hours, location, had to give up my free exercise classes and can't afford a gym.  I'm not disciplined enough to do it on my own, even though I went out and bought all the stuff to do so.  The new job is 10x the work and 50x the stress of my old job. On top of that, all they do is EAT...and I'm the one in charge of setting up/cleaning up the food.  People often drop extra food off on my desk when I'm not around to say no thanks. In addition to that, my baby granddaughter died.  I had a really hard time with that.  I've been battling the stress and depression, got some zanax, but don't like having to take any meds. Earlier on in my journey, when I was stressed, I didn't eat.  Now I am eating too much and all the bad stuff.  I am struggling at home too.  Hubby has been asking me to help with the holiday baking.  I keep asking him to help me get back...hasn't happened yet.

I know I must take responsibility for my actions, but there have been too many enablers and it's been very difficult!  I am really struggling and could use some moral support.  I am almost 10 lbs up from my comfort zone and need to get back on track.  Encouraging words would be helpful.

Thanks for listening!

JJ_
on 11/20/12 7:23 pm

Hi,

 

Wow, you have been really going through a lot.  I find that what helps me during times of stress is to write down what I want to accomplish.  i.e.  I want to be healthy or I want to weigh X.  Then I break it down into manageable items, such as:  For today I will track my food and liquid intake.  For today, I will walk up the stairs at least 2 times.

 

Then I do just that.  I don`t worry about tomorrow, it will handle itself when it arrives :)   Today I am responsible for taking care of me.  I find that when I focus on what my goal of the day is (maybe put it on your calendar on your phone to re-read throughout the day).  Set an appointment at 9 a.m., then when you get the reminder - read it, and move it to 10 a.m., read it and move it to 11 a.m., etc.   Smaller steps lead to greatness....or your goal.

 

You can do it. 

 

Judy

 

 

katier825
on 11/21/12 12:38 am
On November 21, 2012 at 3:23 AM Pacific Time, JJ_ wrote:

Hi,

 

Wow, you have been really going through a lot.  I find that what helps me during times of stress is to write down what I want to accomplish.  i.e.  I want to be healthy or I want to weigh X.  Then I break it down into manageable items, such as:  For today I will track my food and liquid intake.  For today, I will walk up the stairs at least 2 times.

 

Then I do just that.  I don`t worry about tomorrow, it will handle itself when it arrives :)   Today I am responsible for taking care of me.  I find that when I focus on what my goal of the day is (maybe put it on your calendar on your phone to re-read throughout the day).  Set an appointment at 9 a.m., then when you get the reminder - read it, and move it to 10 a.m., read it and move it to 11 a.m., etc.   Smaller steps lead to greatness....or your goal.

 

You can do it. 

 

Judy

 

 

That's a great idea...I will do some motivational calendar reminders.  Thank you!

Vivian Prouty
on 11/20/12 8:26 pm - Fort Worth, TX

WOW First off Katier625....please accept my condolences for the dealth of your granddaughter.   I have a almost 4 month old granddaughter myself and if something was to happen to her....I don't know how I could live.    Now...you have to get a grip on things.   Trust me....I know ALL ABOUT STRESS !!!  I have a almost 27 yr. old son who had been a drug addict since he was 11 or 12 and has been clean for 15 months now and I KNOW the meaning of stress all too well.   I too am working right now on getting off a re-gain.    I wish mine was only 10 lbs instead of what it is.   Sometimes life just isn't fair to us.   I'm sorry that you have been forced into a job situation that is causing you stress.   Have you thought about talking to your boss or supervisior about the "food situatioin"?  I would ask that they put someone else in charge of the "food cleanup detail ".   Also if you have a lunch hour which I assume you do you could always walk for 30 minutes or so.     You need to re-focus and take charge of your WLS journey again and not let the food rule your life.   I'm talking to myself as much as you here.    We are responsible for our re-gain...afterall we are the ones who let our "old habits" creap back in and it is up to us to kick them to the curb.    As for your husband asking you to do holiday baking....do you REALLY need it???   I am cutting way back on mine.    I'm going to make a couple of desserts and I am giving my family a "time limit" on how long they can remain in my house and then I am trashing them.     We have to take charge of our journey.    There are LOTS of people out there waiting to see us fail at this....Lets not give them what they want.     Please contact me anytime if you want to talk.   I am basicly where you are but I am now 10 lbs. closer to my goal weight.    I guess going  back to your "old job" is probably out of the question.    Just hang in there and Judy gave you some excellent tips.    It's going to be OK I promise you that.    I will pray for you if you don't mind.   Try to have a great Thanksgiving holiday.

 

Hugs and blessings ~~~ Vivian

GOD GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CAN NOT CHANGE;   COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS THAT I CAN;  AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE !!!!    THIS IS MY DAILY PRAYER.
Vivian Prouty      Obesity Help Support Group Coach  "LOSE IT 4 LIFE"


 

(deactivated member)
on 11/21/12 12:14 am, edited 11/21/12 12:15 am - California, CA

Thanks for sharing.

 

 

katier825
on 11/21/12 12:51 am
On November 21, 2012 at 4:26 AM Pacific Time, Vivian Prouty wrote:

WOW First off Katier625....please accept my condolences for the dealth of your granddaughter.   I have a almost 4 month old granddaughter myself and if something was to happen to her....I don't know how I could live.    Now...you have to get a grip on things.   Trust me....I know ALL ABOUT STRESS !!!  I have a almost 27 yr. old son who had been a drug addict since he was 11 or 12 and has been clean for 15 months now and I KNOW the meaning of stress all too well.   I too am working right now on getting off a re-gain.    I wish mine was only 10 lbs instead of what it is.   Sometimes life just isn't fair to us.   I'm sorry that you have been forced into a job situation that is causing you stress.   Have you thought about talking to your boss or supervisior about the "food situatioin"?  I would ask that they put someone else in charge of the "food cleanup detail ".   Also if you have a lunch hour which I assume you do you could always walk for 30 minutes or so.     You need to re-focus and take charge of your WLS journey again and not let the food rule your life.   I'm talking to myself as much as you here.    We are responsible for our re-gain...afterall we are the ones who let our "old habits" creap back in and it is up to us to kick them to the curb.    As for your husband asking you to do holiday baking....do you REALLY need it???   I am cutting way back on mine.    I'm going to make a couple of desserts and I am giving my family a "time limit" on how long they can remain in my house and then I am trashing them.     We have to take charge of our journey.    There are LOTS of people out there waiting to see us fail at this....Lets not give them what they want.     Please contact me anytime if you want to talk.   I am basicly where you are but I am now 10 lbs. closer to my goal weight.    I guess going  back to your "old job" is probably out of the question.    Just hang in there and Judy gave you some excellent tips.    It's going to be OK I promise you that.    I will pray for you if you don't mind.   Try to have a great Thanksgiving holiday.

 

Hugs and blessings ~~~ Vivian

I am the only admin in my dept, so I am stuck with the food detail.  The lunchtime walks are a good idea.  I was doing that early on, but get so busy, I often work thru lunch (although I don't get paid to do so - it just helps me a little).  The baking we do is for others.  It started years ago when we didn't have money for gifts and gave baked goods instead.  Everyone loved it so much, that's pretty much what we do now for gifts.  I rarely make goodies for us and when I do, it's usually SF Jello Pudding.  If I could get hubby to do the baking before I get home, then I wouldn't see it and be tempted.

I desperately miss my old job...it was a smaller group, nicer people, family like...almost no stress.  But the job was basically eliminated because of cutbacks and my duties given to another person, so there is no going back.  My old boss was very flexible, the new one...well, I hear "no" alot when I ask for things.  There is no flexibility there.  I just have to suck it up and deal with it.  I am making a little progress in that I don't take the xanax daily anymore.

People do try to sabotage us sometimes...I'm tired of hearing that I should "gain a little"...I don't want to!  I am most comfortable in the 135-138 range and don't like being in the 140's.  My clothes aren't comfortable and i refuse to buy larger ones!

Thanks for the moral support!

Huneypie
on 11/21/12 2:06 am - London, United Kingdom
DS on 07/24/12

Try getting a pedometer as it can really help motivate you with walks.  The Fitbit looks quite good, although I don't have one coz according to reviews on Amazon.co.uk it's too focused on the American market - so hopefully it'd be good for you.

Lowish BMI? See Lightweights Board! Lightweight Creed For more on DS see www.DSfacts.com
If you don't have peace, it isn't because someone took it from you; you gave it away. You cannot always control what happens to you, but you can control what happens in you John C Maxwell 
View more of my photos at ObesityHelp.comSleeve 2010 Dr López Corvala, Mexico. DS 2012 Dr Himpens, Belgium

I  my DS  

Vivian Prouty
on 11/21/12 2:36 am - Fort Worth, TX

I'm so sorry your going through this.  Please don't listen to the people telling you that you need to gain weight.    I listened to that comment & they convinced me I was too thin.    I had not reached my goal weight either.    Now I'm trying to loose.    If your comfortable.....tell them your happy with your weight

 

Hugs & Blessings --- Vivian

GOD GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CAN NOT CHANGE;   COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS THAT I CAN;  AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE !!!!    THIS IS MY DAILY PRAYER.
Vivian Prouty      Obesity Help Support Group Coach  "LOSE IT 4 LIFE"


 

Mal
on 11/21/12 8:03 am

I am so sorry for the loss of your granddaughter.  You need a big (((((HUG))))) for certain!  Stress is so tough and probably the worst thing I have had to overcome myself so I know all too well what you are talking about.  The best thing though is that you have acknowledged it!!!  You recognize it!!!  So many people do not.  

I know how horrid the economy is (I was out of work for over a year without unemployment) but have you considered finding a new job?  Maybe get your resume updated and send it out to a few places locally around you, you might get lucky.  I had a stressful job years ago with a micro-manager that stood over my shoulder and was very intimidating and demeaning to me every time there was a mistake (I was and Executive Assistance in a very large accounting firm) and it was just horrible.  I would go home and cry every day.  

The best thing you can do for exercise is walking.  I lost almost all of my weight after surgery by walking.  I couldn't afford a gym membership but sneakers I had.  I bought a very inexpensive MP3 player and loaded my favorite songs on it.  Music motivates me and makes me push myself.  It is so great and you feel so good after its done.  The endorphins that are released after aerobic activity are so great and its a natural high.  

Continue coming here for moral support.   The vets are here as well as newbies and we all understand what you are going through.  Happy Thanksgiving!  I hope you have a great day!!

Mallisa

                
katier825
on 11/21/12 11:17 am
On November 21, 2012 at 4:03 PM Pacific Time, Mal wrote:

I am so sorry for the loss of your granddaughter.  You need a big (((((HUG))))) for certain!  Stress is so tough and probably the worst thing I have had to overcome myself so I know all too well what you are talking about.  The best thing though is that you have acknowledged it!!!  You recognize it!!!  So many people do not.  

I know how horrid the economy is (I was out of work for over a year without unemployment) but have you considered finding a new job?  Maybe get your resume updated and send it out to a few places locally around you, you might get lucky.  I had a stressful job years ago with a micro-manager that stood over my shoulder and was very intimidating and demeaning to me every time there was a mistake (I was and Executive Assistance in a very large accounting firm) and it was just horrible.  I would go home and cry every day.  

The best thing you can do for exercise is walking.  I lost almost all of my weight after surgery by walking.  I couldn't afford a gym membership but sneakers I had.  I bought a very inexpensive MP3 player and loaded my favorite songs on it.  Music motivates me and makes me push myself.  It is so great and you feel so good after its done.  The endorphins that are released after aerobic activity are so great and its a natural high.  

Continue coming here for moral support.   The vets are here as well as newbies and we all understand what you are going through.  Happy Thanksgiving!  I hope you have a great day!!

Mallisa

Oh yes, I would love a new job...sadly there isn't anything in the area.  I do look sometimes, but there hasn't been anything even listed, nevermind applying or interviewing for.  There was one position in my company listed recently.  A friend of mine applied and said she was one of over 400 applicants!  It's really bad in this area.

I did take some advice from earlier and walked at lunch time.  It's hard to before/after work because I'd be walking in the dark.  I'm not too keen on that where I live.  Thanks for the support!

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