SO confused about "good" vs. "bad" foods - 3 years out

Hi there.  I am 3 years out from RNY GB, and I feel really good and am happy with my weight loss, but I worry most of the time that I'm not doing things "right."  I never saw my surgeon again after the day he did the GB, and my insurance only covered 2 post-op visits with the nutritionist.  I see my nurse practitioner once a year now, and have never gotten a call back when I leave a message with questions...so, I pretty much feel like I'm on my own.  I live in a tiny town with no support group, and could really use some feedback on a few things.

I feel like I eat fairly appropriately (other than a few "naughty" foods - please tell me we ALL have those?), and I have found that I have a list of favorite, go-to foods that I eat all the time.  It seems one person's "I LOVE THIS!" is someone else's "OMG, I'D NEVER EAT THAT!"  For example, I see that some people never eat any bread or pasta, while others do.  Some go to great lengths to eat only fat-free, sugar-free varieties of everything, while others seem to do okay with small portions of normal food.  I'm open to all feedback, and would really love explanations of why someone has found a food to be great or awful for them.

Foods I KNOW are okay that I eat often:

Meat (chicken, tuna, salmon, eggs, beef, turkey, etc.)

Dairy (low fat cottage cheese, low fat milk, cheeses of all sorts)

Vegetables (spinach, green beans, broccoli, salad)

Fruits (bananas, apples, oranges, berries, peaches...fruit is my new candy)

Foods that I eat often but worry might be the wrong choice:

Chobani yogurt (I eat the fruited ones, not "plain" - the sugar is higher than I like, but 15g of protein? WOO HOO!)

Peanuts and peanut butter (good protein, but hello fat!  Tastes soooo good, though, and goes on everything!)

Crackers, thin-sliced bread, tortilla chips (not a fan of greasy chips, don't eat much bread, but love to use these as holders for tuna salad, chicken salad, etc.  I also occasionally have a slice of toast or half an english muffin with an egg).

Quesadillas, grilled cheese sandwiches (can only eat 1/2), pizza (1 slice or the toppings off 2 slices). Bread  used to be my weakness, now I eat just a little but I still feel guilty...not sure why?

Coffee (with regular flavored creamer).  I have at least one cup a day, sometimes two. I hear such conflicting info on whether this is bad or okay.  It's truly my only vice...and I hate the thought of giving it up!

Foods I KNOW are bad for me, but still occasionally eat:

Chocolate. I went through a SERIOUS chocolate kick my second year out. I could eat an entire Hershey bar...and often did. I think I was self-medicating or something.  Now, I can take it or leave it most days, and a whole one will make me sick.  YAY!

Alcohol.  I will go out occasionally with friends and dance for hours.  Sometimes, there's shots involved.  Drinking is "weird" now, but I still do it once in awhile (3-5 times a year).

Sweets.  I still have a sweet tooth, but of course I eat WAY less than the average person. I'm happy with a cookie, or bite or 2 of cake/pie/cheesecake.  Not sure I could totally give sweets up, but I sometimes wish I had no desire for them at all.

Foods I know I SHOULD eat/drink, but still have trouble with:

Water.  Oy...I am one of those who never got my sense of thirst back, and who gets stomach cramps from water.  Anything sweetened with Splenda gives me a raging headache (and I've never been a fan of artificial ingredients), but I can drink Crystal Light Pure (sweetened with Stevia) and Sobe Light (no artificial sweeteners - 0 carbs), but they are expensive and I wish I liked water.

Protein.  After the first few months after surgery, protein drinks started making me sick. It might be because I was mixing them with milk to maximize the protein, and I was possibly dumping off the milk.  In any case, I set them aside and never went back.  I don't count my protein intake, and I'm pretty sure I'm deficient 100% of the time (to go along with my being dehydrated 100% of the time).  I never add protein to anything, but I do add cottage cheese to a lot of foods to give it more protein.

 

 

I lost 130 pounds, but never reached my goal weight.  I did bounce back 9 pounds from my lowest weight, but am happy it's not the typical 20 pounds I hear about.  If I never lost another pound, I'd be fine.  However, what I do want to avoid i regain, and more importantly, vitamin and mineral deficiencies that will rob me of quality of life.  So far, all my labs have been normal, but I've sometimes been sloppy with my vitamins, taking them only Monday - Friday because I have alarms built into my email at work, and forgetting to take them on the weekends...

 

Anyway, I just wanted to put it out there where I'm at right now, and hopefully get some feedback.  I'm open to "don't worry, I eat that too!" and "what the hell are you thinking?!"  I just want to know how other people are eating and drinking, and if my diet is kind of typical, or if I'm REALLY off course and need to get my act together.  Again, I can not turn to my surgeon or nutritionist...

 

Thank you all in advance for any response you might give me.  :)  God bless, and Merry Christmas!

 

 

 

I pretty much have the same philosophy as you do. I am 4 years out and have a BMI of 21, which was my goal. I am a daily weigher which keeps me on-track. If you are truly content with being 200 pounds, it sounds like you are doing fine.

A word about low- and no-fat food products.

When the fat is removed from a food, it has to be replaced by something, and that 'something' is usually CARBS. SIMPLE carbs. Carbs that you absorb 100% of.

Fat is not your enemy. You will always and forever malabsorb fat to some degree, and your body actually NEEDS some fat in order to function properly. Eat real mayo, full-fat cheeses, honest-to-god cow butter, nuts, olive oil, etc. You'll avoid some carbs and the cravings they can cause, and you'll get a better sense of satiety.

Fruit is chock-full of sugar. It IS candy. The body doesn't care where sugar comes from---the sugar in an orange is digested exactly the same as the sugar from a Snickers bar. Eat fruit cautiously and infrequently.

High five to MsBatt and Cindycarlisle.

I DO NOT eat any reduced fat or fat free products because of the added crap to replace the fat.  Fat is not the enemy.  Well, in reality no certain food group is the enemy.  Overconsumption is the enemy.  You have to burn what you eat to maintain, and you have to burn more than you eat to lose.

I do not view food as "evil".  Food is food, and some is better nutritionally than others.  I do focus on a protein forward diet, but there are days and times of the year where I have very unhealthy tasty treats.  Like today-I just had a handful of peanut M&Ms.  I'd never tried them before and might I say-YUM.

However, this is not a daily behavior.  I eat a Chobani (with the fruit on the bottom) every day.  I snack on a grilled chicken breast every day.  I eat real fruit.  I do have some bread and crackers, but they are whole grain. Most of the protein I eat is cooked by me from its raw, natural state.  I do not use any protein supplements-never have because I think the taste is disgusting.

I live by the 80/20 rule....80% of the time I am the poster child for RNY maintenance and the other 20%-not so much.

There probably isn't anything I never eat, but there are two categories I severely limit - grains (of any type, including pasta and tortillas/tortilla chips - if I'm eating tuna salad or egg salad, I eat it from a plate with a fork) and sugar (of any type, including most fruit; berries are an occasional exception).  Like previous posters, I don't eat low-fat or no-fat anything; I just never worry about fat.  For snacks, I eat nuts, sunflower seeds, cheese, crispy bacon (yes, cold, I keep it in the fridge most of the time, yum!).  I do occasionally enjoy dark/bittersweet, high quality chocolate, I find I'm able to limit it to a square or two in the evenings.  I'm still very compelled by sweets at times - I "flirt with" them at the grocery store, and love to look at pictures of goodies, but I stay away.  On special occasions I'll have a bite or two of dessert, like Thanksgiving, my birthday, etc.

I drink a Premier Protein for breakfast every day. For lunch I usually eat a combination of plain greek yogurt and cottage cheese, with a little SF Torani hazelnut syrup for flavor.  (I mix these up 6-8 at a time so I can grab one to take to work, or have it quickly on hand at home.)  I love plain black coffee and have probably four cups a day, then switch to herb tea with almond milk.  I count the protein, coffee and tea towards my hydration requirements.  I drink a glass of wine when I go out (which might be one or two times a month), but I was like that before surgery too - not much of a drinker. 

I got down to 132.2, my lowest weight, and in the last several months I bounced back to 137-141, where I seem to have stabilized.  I'd love to get back to 132, but doesn't look like it's going to happen.  But I'm amazed and happy where I ended up.  Another amazing thing is how willing I've been to keep to a fairly clean food plan since surgery.  I hope that willingness stays.