OT: Adoption, has anyone gone through a US adoption?

So my husband and I have been trying to have a baby for about 3 years now with no luck.  We are at the point where we are considering fertility treatments and maybe IVF.

For some reason Adoption never occurred to me until I started searching on the internet about infertility. I have nothing against adoption but it is a little scary to me because we are not rich, and our lives aren't perfect. I also wonder about children of different races. I don't really care what race the child is, but I am worried that I would not know how to raise them properly with respect to their race/culture since I might not know much about it. And also children with disabilities. I work full time and so does my husband, and it concerns me that we could not handle a child with special needs or behavioral problems.

I also wonder about the cost, and what is expected of me. Do I need to have the cleanest home on earth, is there going to be social workers and other people examining every aspect of my life/finances? I don't have anything to hide, but the thought still makes me a little uncomfortable.

Has anyone went through this process? How did it turn out and did you have any of the same concerns as I do? 

As always, I know I can turn to my OH friends for answers and support.

Thanks guys!

How much race would matter often depends on your support system and if you can have access to others who can help fill in any areas you cant. If others are able to show the child examples of their race and culture in a positive light. The basics of raising children is the same across all races and cultures. It is better to have a family that looks different then no family.

Your would deal with a child you gave birth to if they had a disability or behavior issues. You get no guarantee with any child. Any child adopted will have some extra concerns some are traumatized by birth parent abuse or drug and alcohol abuse , multiply caregivers, or fears of abandonment. The adoption agency should have some history and help you know what you are getting into. BUT  some issues will occur.

Some are the kind that simply show up over time.Unless you get a newborn form the hospital they have experiences that no one may take away from them . There may be for genetic or abuse issues the agency may not be aware.

Yes they will want financial information and will do a home study. Adopting is not easy. These kids need good parents to help them with the transitions.

Being a parent is so worth it I would do it again in a heart beat.

i adopted through social services several years ago, my son was born addicted to drugs and alcohol and had to go through two months of withdrawals. i would look into foster to adopt through your local social services and see what they say...Regarding my son, He has his struggles but is a good boy, also when we brought him home he was light skinned with blue eyes, as he grew his eyes darkened and he got a afro, but you know what ,he is the same baby, now boy, we adopted. sweet and full of love, and having a biological son there is no difference in how you love a biological child verses a adopted child, there your kids, you will do anything for them, fight to protect them and keep them safe warm and dry...As for race I think most people are mixed, white and something,were all the same..I do point out positive people of all races, telling both boys the sky the limit, when they talk about what they want to do as adults....

i love both my boys, and am proud to say yes these are my sons....if asked.....I am definitely the lucky one.

I was also going to suggest checking out the foster care system in your state. They help you with classes and finances sometimes. That would give you a chance to "test the waters" and see if adoption is a good fit for you. Sometimes foster situations turn into adoptive situations.

I adopted my daughter through a foster-to-adopt situation.  I fostered several kids before I was able to adopt.  Things happen, children get returned to their parents or relatives come through.  It was worth it!  We love our girl as much as our biological children.  (She was our fourth child.)

Not only will they look into your finances (you don't have to be rich just able to provide for a child) but they will look into your health, background checks, references and you'll likely have to take some classes.  If you are not as particular about race, gender and even age, you should be able to adopt a child within a couple years. One friend got lucky and was able to adopt the first child she fostered. Another took a while for her first adoption but the second one flew through.

Definitely some thing to think about.  There are plenty of children that need a loving family.  By the way, we adopted an older child.  We wanted a child closer to the ages of our other children.

I adopted both of my children internationally. My older daughter was born in Kazakhstan and I adopted her in 2004. My younger daughter was born in china and I adopted her in 2007. International adoption was easy back then, but much harder now. I thank God everyday for my children.