Information Session Today

Hi Everyone!

I'll be going for my information seminar in about an hour. I do NOT have anyone to go with me. No one close to me thinks I'm making the right decision. I haven't even decided if I'm going to go through with WLS and if I do, which one I will chose. How important was support for you in your information session? Anyone else just getting started in the process and would like to have someone go through with them? Or are there any vets that would like to offer some words of wisdom or encouragement? At first I didn't think I cared that I was going alone but the closer I get, the more sad I feel because of it. My husband supports the weight loss aspect of the surgery but doesn't know or seem to be interested in exactly what will have to be done to my body in order to achieve this goal or the lifelong commitment that I'll be making. I know I'm ALL over the place. Please excuse me. I'm feeling a little "scattered" right now.

 

 

I completely understand how you feel.  I'm sorry that you're going at this without any support.  Some people don't really know how to feel about WLS.  It took me many years to decide to do it.  It is a lifelong change that you'll have to work at constantly.  I don't know how much you weigh or what your BMI, but what I do know is that if you're not happy with what you see on the scale, and your doctor feels you would be a good candidate, then go for it!!  It was the best thing I had ever done for myself.  On June 2nd, I'll be 8 months out.  I feel great!!!  I've lost 175 pounds, with about 20-25 pounds to go.  I'm still working at it each and every day.  Some days I feel like I've fallen and can't get up.  But I get up, shake myself off and continue to work at it.  I have a husband and two young children.  They try to be supportive, but not necessarily so.  My friends and other family members try to be as supportive as they know how to be.  You can do it! When people see how dedicated you are, they will all be on board. 

I had the Sleeve Gastrectomy.  If you don't know what procedure  you'd like to have, that's the one I recommend.  One of my best friends had the same procedure and she encouraged me to do the same.  The recovery time is pretty fast, it's less evasive and not a lot of scarring.  NO dumping either.

I wish you the best in your endeavors.  Please keep us posted.

Hi atm12,

Thanks for the support! I'm back from the session. The doctors were really nice and explained everything thoroughly but with as much web searching and stalking these boards, I feel like I already knew everything they were going to say before they said it. Nevertheless, I think it was helpful hearing what they had to say. Right now, I think I am leaning more towards the sleeve. I'm 31 with a BMI of 48.6. I think I carry my weight "well" because several ladies in the meeting commented that I didn't "need" the surgery. Here I am with a BMI even higher than one of them and they had the nerve to tell me that I'm young (31) and could just work it off. WTH???!!

Anyway, I really want the bypass results with my digestive system as normal as it can be. I did have a chance to ask lots of questions. I'm not going to rush and make sure this is really what I want to do (WLS period) because I  know if I get sleeved - that's it. No turning back. That's true for all the surgeries but at least with bypass, you still have your unused belly still sitting there. I'm probably reading too deeply into this all. LOL

I initially chose bypass because there were the spare parts still hanging around. I switched to sleeve because i wanted to keep the option to take NSAIDS for blown knees, and I was worried about reactive hypoglycemia.

To your first question- I went to my info meeting alone. My kids had been in a pretty bad car wreck that am and I wanted to cancel but hubby pretty much put me in the car and sent me, saying I'd regret it if I didnt.

Your going to have to do this part on your own for now.  Get your literature and come home with it.  Leave it laying around where he will look at it.  (Bathroom?)

Don't be co dependent on this.  You are a strong woman and this is just a small step.

There will be a time when you need to have his un divided attention on this, and you can bide your time for now, and give him some time to let this soak in.  

I told my husband once, (I don't know about what) that if he did not want to listen to me, I would with hold my paycheck into the family account until he was ready to.. worked pretty fast.   Not ideal, but ya do what ya have ta do.  You don't have to cook, you don't have to clean. You don't have to scream, or yell.  You have way more power than you are giving yourself credit for.

Give him some time for now. Men get scared and retreat into their caves and hope it all goes away.  Until he convinced your not going to chicken out, he may just lay low.

Redbird,

That is GREAT ADVICE. It sounds like you know both of us. I am being a little co-dependent. This is my body and my decision. If course, his input matters but I do need to move forward and stop stalling for him. Part of me is even a little afraid that he will tease me because I opted for WLS and wasn't able to loose weight in the same (although unhealthy) manner he did by taking diet pills and completely eliminating carbs from his diet.

The part that really makes me sad is that he's only interested in how my loosing weight will benefit him. For example, he thinks sex will be easier (sorry if that's TMI). I guess I didn't realize how much of a jerk he could really be until now. SMH

While support is always nice you can do this on your own.  They are going to tell you about all of the different types of surgery.  If they become interested at a later date, you can always go to the information meeting again and take them.  This is more for you at this point.  Actually this whole process is for you.  My husband was okay about the WLS but he really doesn't care about any of it.  He has gotten into eating better and exercising as a family but the he could care less about the details.

Hi Jackie,

Thanks. And you are right. I have to do this for myself. I guess I am always afraid of making the wrong decision and thinking that if I convince him that I'm doing the right thing, then it must really be right. I can't possibly think I'm going to sell him on this if I'm not completely certain what I'm doing myself. I'm surprised he's even on board with it so I guess I'll have to be grateful for that. When I first mentioned WLS 3 years ago, he was against it. Now that my doc gave me a referral, he thinks I should do it. I guess I should worry about the details on my own. Besides, there are great support groups on person and on the web that I can link up with if/when need be.

 

 

Hi, wannaweighless,

 

I just made my appt. for my seminar today, my appt. is 6/20. I will also be going by myself, not that my husband wouldn't go with me its just that he has to work that day. Plus I like the fact that I can ask and answer any questions without him knowing some of my personal stuff that I amy not want to share. Please let me know what you thought about your seminar and what surgery you"re thinking of having. Good Luck to you, maybe we can be there for each other.

 

Deby

Hi Deby,

That's a great idea about keeping some stuff personal until you are ready to share. My husband did actually ask me how everything went without me bringing it up. I was surprised. I'm not sure if I want to take him to the team meeting. I'm actually thinking it may scare him out of going along with all this.

I thought the seminar was good. I went to Penn Medicine in Philadelphia, PA at the University of Pennsylvania Hospital. I actually work there too. They gave us all of the information that you've probably read everywhere else. They went over the qualifications, the dietary requirements and informed us of all of the pre-operative testing that would be required. I have to admit that thanks to this website, the awesome people here and some research on other sites, I knew everything that they explained to me. They did not try to sell us on any particular surgery and didn't pressure us to schedule appointments for the next step either. The doctors that did the presentation were very knowledgeable and answered all questions we asked and even some we didn't think to ask.

The surgery started out with the Lapband, then Gastric Bypass was explained and we ended with the Sleeve. I'm considering the sleeve because it doesn't call for re-routing of the intestines and there are less malabsorptaive issues. But after listening to the seminar, I'm back to thinking about bypass. I  know that the band would be far too easy for me to cheat and there are just too many things going wrong with the bad although it seems to be the least invasive.I think the RNY (bypass) seems to be the toughest "tool" of the 3 but I like the fact that it seems the sleeve will leave me most "normal" and reduce the hormone (grehlin) that produces that hungry feeling. I will make my ultimate decision when I meet with the surgeon.

Which surgery are you considering and why? Sure, I'd love to take the journey together. I'm going to send you a request.

Shanita