Too many doubts....

I do believe after visiting this site for several weeks, I am convinced I will NOT have surgery.  I was interested in the lapband because I wanted something reversible and not so invasive.  After reading post after post of issues with the band, I decided against it.

Then I went to the sleeve, but it scares me to death!  They are taking away part of my stomach...forever!  No going back...no reversal.  People seem to have so many problems...I know many folks do quite well.  But I don't want to go into this with the illusion that I will be fine and dandy.

I am a compulsive overeater...do people often turn to bulimia after weight-loss surgery?  I hear they want to eat, but they can't...so they eat and vomit and continue the cycle.  I would hope I would never do that, but when the desire to eat hits, I sometimes feel I could kill--okay, maybe that is too strong of a word!!--to get food in my mouth.

A friend had the sleeve...she doesn't seem to be quite the binger I am.  She says she doesn't feel like eating or overeating, I guess I should say.  But I've read posts here where people want to eat but can't and are suffering.

Scary stuff...it amazes me they can put a man on the moon but can't seem to find some magic pill or semi-magic pill to help us lose weight...something safe, no or very little side effects, and effective.  

I am 60 years old, weigh in at approximately 350 pounds...I am miserable but yet can't (won't?) lose weight.  I try but it never lasts...food is my drug of choice.  Will surgery change that?  I doubt it; might even make it worse.  Oh, and my insurance will not cover any bariatric surgery although it does say "unless medically necessary."  I'm sure the docs have a way around this and probably deal with these companies all day long.

Any ideas or suggestions will be welcome!  Thank you so much for your input.  Is there anyone out there who has had surgery and is a compulsive eater/overeater?

You are correct in the fact, WLS is a tool not a cure.  It will only help start the process but you must be willing to change or modify your lifestyle which will include diet and exercise.  You mention food as your "drug of choice" as you put it.  Have you considered therapy for this??  People can indeed be addicted to food and much like a drug or alcohol addiction often times a person needs to get help to begin a recovery process.  Food should never be considered a "drug" to make you feel better, medicate your feelings, protect you, give you something to do while bored, etc...  It's for nourishment only!  While WLS can alter how hungry you are physically, it will NOT change your mental hunger.  As far as the medically necessary part, I'm sure at your weight, you would indeed qualify.  I'm only speculating however, but in general I'd say yes.

It sounds like you have a lot to think about and to consider.  I'm definitely NOT an expert.  But in my humble opinion I really think and encourage you to seek therapy to understand why you chose to overeat and medicate with food to begin with.  This may be the actual starting point for you in this journey before you even consider if WLS is for you.  Regardless, good luck!  I wish you the best!

Thank you for your input.  Yes, I have been to therapy, I have researched and read many books, articles, and anything I can get my hands on.  I have developed this food addiction from dieting.  If I tell myself I can't have a food, I crave and want that food desperately.  Dieting puts so many in a state of deprivation causing overeating and a vicious cycle of overeating.  I know to eat only from hunger; but even then, I feel like I am being deprived because I can't eat what I want, when I want.  Sounds like a spoiled kid, right?!  It has been years that I have developed this habit of constantly "wanting" to eat.  I truly know what to do, but don't seem to completely devote myself to this kind of thinking and eating.

This is why I turned to weight-loss surgery...I know it is truly not an easy fix...I just thought if I could get some weight off quickly, maybe that would be a turning point for me.  Do you know what I mean?  Maybe with 50 pounds off, food would take on another role in my life...to nourish my body only.  Maybe I would feel so good about having 50 pounds off...feel better...move better...live that I would be able to overcome this eating disorder.

I know that if I don't change the way I feel about food, I will gain the weight back.  I can do that on any weight-loss journey, whether it be bariatric surgery or the conventional way to lose weight, less calories more movement.  I guess my bottom-line question is....is it possible for a compulsive overeater to have bariatric surgery, do well, lose weight, and THAT IN ITSELF is the help that one needs to stop this overeating?

I hope I'm making sense!!

Yes, it makes sense...  I just think you may want to work on trying to think differently about food now.  I know it's hard but like you said, it's become a habit for you.  The good news is, habits can be broken! Instead of thinking of how you're depriving yourself of what you can't have, you need to think of what you CAN, which is healthy, nutritious food.  A LOT of people, including myself, continue therapy throughout this process because it is a big change.  Just because you've done it in the past doesn't mean there isn't value in it now.  You're considering a big change and arguably now would be the biggest time one could use the sounding board therapy provides.  A jump-start in weight loss could motivate you to make healthy changes, but then I have to ask why YOU aren't reason enough to make healthy changes??  I know, I'm asking hard questions.  I had to ask them of myself!!!!  You hit the nail on the head.  Overeating is an eating disorder.  I stand my by original opinion.  I think there is value in continuing therapy for this. 

I've lived with a Sleeved stomach for nearly 10 years now. Trust me, I eat all the food I choose to. I eat about every 2.5-3 hours, all day long. The key point that I'm trying to make is that I no longer WANT food like I did before my DS. I still LIKE food, I still ENJOY food, but I get satisfaction from a much smaller amount.

When I was making my WLS decision, I knew that I'd be terribly unhappy if I could no longer eat the foods I loved. I noticed that the DSers were the ones talking about eating a half-pound of bacon for breakfast, and I decided that was a lifestyle I could get behind. (*grin*)

I absolutely agree with PrincessPR.  WLS is a tool, but if you're not mentally ready it won't work.  Therapy can be very useful for dealing with your binge eating, and most insurance requires a psych eval before they'll pay for surgery anyway.  Find a good thereapist first, then revisit WLS when you're mentally ready.

Weight loss surgery is just a tool.

Suppose I had an acre of grass to cut.  I will need to pick a tool to do that.  I pick a nail clippers.  It is sharp and lightweight.  I start cutting a blade at a time.  It is tedious and time constraining.  I run out of energy after a few days I have only finished a small section.  The grass that I cut is growing back and the task of an entire acre seems hopeless. 

The next time I try a pair of scissors and get further, but not even close to finishing.  When I go through multiple cutting tools and finally use a lawn tractor, the acre is effortlessly cut in about an hour.  The grass will grow back but the lawn tractor will make it easy to keep under control.

Weight loss surgery is a tool.  Diet and exercise is a tool.  You have to use the tool, but having the right tool with the power and speed to finish the task easily makes the job much easier.

I lost my hunger with RNY.  I was able to easily get to goal.  Now I can eat anything I want and still maintain.  I want very little and am quickly satisfied and full.  I spent years dieting, exercising, buying diet pills and gimmicks, attending weight control classes, praying, crying, living with shame and binge eating out of desperation.

Then I was given a tool that makes it so easy.  Having the right tool has been the difference in my long struggle to lose and maintain my weight loss.

The example of your acre of grass is fantastic and a great way to think of WLS.  Thanks for sharing it!!  It is right on target.

Hello, my name is Tracy...and I am a compulsive eater and bulimic.  

I did several years of therapy and Overeater's Anonymous before I would even consider listening to my doctor about WLS.  I thought WLS was the easy way out and wouldn't fix my problems because I knew it wasn't really about the food.   Well, I was right about it not "fixing" my eff'ed up relationship with food but I'm thankful I was finally able to get to the point where I saw it as the one additional tool I needed in my tool belt to make myself successful using all the other tools (OA, therapy, nutritional knowledge, exercise). 

One of the reasons I hesitated doing WLS was because I went to a bariatric support group two years ago.  It just so happened to be in December...and they were having a potluck!  And all I could see was a bunch of people who were thin...but still obsessed with food!!  I thought it was sick, sick, sick and it turned me off for a loooong time.   Then I started talking to few people in OA who had WLS (admittedly they got the surgery first and came to OA later).   I realized that the emotional work I had done for the last 5 years put me far ahead of the game and I became ready to learn and listen about this WLS process. 

Does the sleeve keep me from binging or purging?  No way - no surgery is going to change my compulsive food behaviors.  But it definitely hasn't made it worse.   It's given me the kind of control over my real hunger and head hunger that I NEVER had before.  I still use therapy and OA to balance myself emotionally and spiritually and this helps me keep the physical part of me in balance too. 

My best advice:  get yourself into therapy with someone *****ally understands eating disorders and get yourself to some OA meetings.   Then...when you see yourself making some life changes, look into WLS.