Keep it a secret?

I was just wondering everyone's opinion on whether they kept their surgery to themselves or told people? I'm torn myself. While I'm not ashamed of getting help and this tool will be life changing, There is that stigma attached to WLS. People unfairly think that you are too week to do it on your own.

What is your experience at work or with family or otherwise when you decided on your surgery?

Just my opinion. It's one thing to keep your private business private, but it's something else entirely to lie about it. By that I mean if someone asks you if you've had WLS, either tell the truth or say "I really don't think that's any of your business." See, if you DO lie and later the truth comes out---well, I'd rather some ignorant person think I had WLS because I was too weak to lose weight on my own (which is basically true, properly considered), or to have them KNOW I'm a liar.

Also, if you do lie and say your weight loss is due to just 'diet and exercise', how does that help get rid of the stigma attached to WLS? How does it help other obese people who are resisting having WLS because of that stigma? And how does it make those other obese people feel, to think "Well, SHE did it on her own---I must just be a bad person."

So---either put it right out there, or tell people to mind their own business.

Couldn't have said this better myself - have I told you lately how grateful I am for you sticking around all these years, through all the drama, just to be helpful to a bunch of strangers on the internet? I think you rock!

Well thank you, my dear! I guess it's just that I feel so damned grateful to those who helped, and who continue to help, me.

Great answer, MsBatt!   

If you lose 100+lbs, people will notice and will "KNOW" you had WLS even if they don't say anything to your face - If you don't want to tell all and sundry that's your business, but if you downright lie, don't then get pissy if someone calls you a liar !!

In the early days, I told anyone who would listen and couldn't escape   Now, not so much because no one I know now, knew me 9 years ago. I eat like a slim person, exercise like a slim person etc.   If someone asked, I'd absolutely tell them  - I've done nothing to be ashamed of as far as I'm concerned but I don't think I owe anyone to tell them any of my medical history unless it's of particular interest to them or could be helpful in some way ...

 

****hands clapping****

I couldn't agree more.

OP what Ms Batts said I'll ditto.

I"m telling those people I think who will be supportive and not bothering with the rest. If they find out, fine. If they want to judge, fine. After they lose 100lbs and keep it off, then they can tell me how weak I am.

 

I look at surgery as a do over. I get a second chance to treat my body right. I messed up, am obese, and I need help. Everyone deserves a second chance. It will be up to me to have learned from my mistakes and not repeat them and keep the weight off.

I only told my closest friend, my boyfriend, and my mom. My co-workers and boss only know that I had surgery, not what kind. The rest of my family and friends don't even know I had any kind of surgery!

When people at work asked what kind of surgery I was having, I would just say, "Oh, it's nothing serious." And left it at that. They got the hint not to ask further questions.

I'm sure down the line, they will be able to figure it out. And if anyone asks me how I lost the weight, I will be truthful. But for now, I am keeping it to myself as much as possible.

The decision on who to tell is definitely up to you. I agree with a previous poster though, that it's not smart to lie about it if someone directly asks you if you have had WLS. I haven't been asked this directly, but I do know that I don't plan to say no.... depending on who is asking, I might just tell them it is none of their business!

I told a few friends, my parents, siblings (including brother and sister-in-law), and my husband. That's it! Part of me just doesn't want to have to answer a million questions or deal with negativity. The other part of me also realizes that if I had surgery or a procedure done for any other reason, I wouldn't walk around telling people about it either lol. If I were trying to lose weight with diet and exercise alone (which I did during the six month supervised diet).... I also didn't walk around announcing that to everyone! I just don't want to talk about it.

Now... if someone with a severe weight problem sincerely asked me how I'm losing weight and genuinely wanted to hear what I have to say, then I would tell them I've been doing a lot of things and that I'd love to get together with them sometime to talk about it. Otherwise, when people ask me what I've been doing, I jokingly tell them that I "don't eat anything that tastes good"... which gets a laugh and the conversation continues in another direction. Nobody has been disrespectful enough to me (yet) to push the issue. However, we'll see how that changes when I see certain family members in April!

It's how comfortable you feel.  You need to be supported during this process.  I only told the people I knew would support me.  I told my imm. family and my boss and a couple of close friends PRE OPT.  Now that I've had the surgery when someone asks I'll tell them.  But before hand I didn't even mention it.  I also didn't put it all over social media because I didn't want to make a big hype about it.  I agree with what others have posted and again it's our opinions and in the end it's what will help you the most.

Good Luck and we are all here for you :)