Christmas Cookie Rules

Christmas Cookie Rules

1. If you eat a Christmas cookie fresh out of the oven, it has no calories because everyone knows that the first cookie is the test cookie and thus calorie free.

2. If you drink a diet soda after eating your second cookie, it also has no calories because the diet soda cancels out the cookie calories.

3. If a friend comes over while you're making your Christmas cookies and needs to sample, you must sample with your friend. Because your friend's first cookie is calorie free, (rule #1) yours is also. It would be rude to let your friend sample alone and, being the friend that you are, that makes your cookie calorie free also.

4. Any cookie calories consumed while walking around will fall to your feet and eventually fall off as you move. This is due to gravity and the density of the caloric mass.

5. Any calories consumed during the frosting of the Christmas cookies will be used up because it takes many calories to lick excess frosting from a knife without cutting your tongue.

6. Cookies colored red or green have very few calories. Red ones have three and green ones have five - one calorie for each letter. Make more red ones!

7. Cookies eaten while watching "Miracle on 34th Street" have no calories because they are part of the entertainment package.

8. As always, cookie pieces contain no calories because the process of breaking causes calorie leakage.

9. Any cookies consumed from someone else's plate have no calories since the calories rightfully belong to the other person and will cling to their plate. We all know how calories like to CLING.

10. Any cookies consumed while feeling stressed have no calories because cookies used for medicinal purposes NEVER have calories. It is a rule!

I wish ;)

Happy Holidays to my ObesityHelp pals.

~Michelle "Shelly" (aka Eggface)

If only this were true

Does this work for fudge?  If it has walnuts in it, that's protein right.  

Amazing how arguments like yours use to make sense when I was 256lbs.

And if a cookie has protein powder in it, it's somehow no longer a cookie!!!

Store samples don't have any calories, either.

LOL over on my facebook page https://www.facebook.com/TheWorldAccordingtoEggface  we decided that cookie dough since it has not reached actual; cookie status doesn't count either ;) oh and cookies with holes... the calories escape.

I KNOW this is all tongue in cheek but the reason I am back on OH.com after many years absence is that I have regained 100 of my 200 pounds lost.    I lost the weight but did NOTHING to change my habits and over the last 6 years, have gained a huge amount back.   So the TRUE rules for christmas cookies are these:

1.  Don't EAT IT...period.

2.  Don't eat it.  EVER.

3.  DO NOT EAT A COOKIE.

I KNOW this is all tongue in cheek but the reason I am back on OH.com after many years absence is that I have regained 100 of my 200 pounds lost.    I lost the weight but did NOTHING to change my habits and over the last 6 years, have gained a huge amount back.   So the TRUE rules for christmas cookies are these:

1.  Don't EAT IT...period.

2.  Don't eat it.  EVER.

3.  DO NOT EAT A COOKIE.

HAHAHA Shelly I love it! I should have read this before I decided not to make cookies