Traumatic Experience

Alright, so to preface the situation, I am planning on having the sleeve done end of April by Dr. Aceves. My husband and I have done a lot of research and while I would prefer to have the surgery here in Canada, I know that my wait time will be very long (as I am young and do not have any serious health concerns at the present time). Anyway, I had signed up to have a family doctor in my area who was accepting new patients at a new clinic. I knew that I would need a doctor to complete the post op blood work and x-ray part of the surgery, which is why I got my butt in gear and found a doctor.

So I get called up for a meet and greet, I meet the doctor and she seems fine (a little standoffish but that was ok) and we talk about my history and my family history it was a quick appointment. Then I book in to have my physical and pap smear done at the same time a few months down the road. So, I went to the appointment on Monday and I was a little nervous (as a usually am about pap's, its awkward you know?) but the nurse who brought me in and got me set up was really sweet and I told her I would probably need something for under my hips for the pap and she had no problem finding something for me. Then the doctor comes in... and I am sitting on the table butt naked covered in flimsy cloths and instantly I see the judgment on her face. She says she needs to take my blood pressure and she takes out the standard adult cuff and obviously it is not going to work for me (being bigger then standard) but she puts it on anyway and starts pumping it up and the Velcro starts coming apart, and it is humiliating and she is staring at me the whole time with this judgmental look on her face and when it comes off she is like "hmmm.... well that's not good, let's talk about the weight issue." Which I am fine talking about (I would prefer to not do it in the nude but why not) so I tell her how I have been over weight my entire life and I never really had good eating or exercise habits, that I have tried like a million and 1 diets with moderate to little success.

Well, she launches into the lecture about how there is nothing in my blood work to account for the weight gain and if I ever truly tried to lose weight I should have seen success. " Losing weight is not difficult, you are probably just being lazy, there is no reason for you to be this fat." Direct Quote. Then she started talking to me like a child, things like you need to eat your vegetables and lean proteins, don't eat sweets and junk food, stop eating out, and exercise. "Every time you go to eat something you know is bad for you, think this will probably kill me. And you should be able to just throw it away!" Direct Quote. Gee thanks doc because I have never heard this before. She was unbelievably condescending, and then she started talk about how I was a liability to her as a patient because they can't even take my blood pressure (for the record I have had my blood pressure taken many times at hospitals and doctors clinics because they had a cuff bigger then standard) but she wants to help me because "nobody should be this fat".

So, needless to say I wasn't exactly the most relaxed when she asked me to lay back and open my legs. It was awful, and the whole time I am thinking why am I putting myself through this. Once the most painful pap I have ever had is over and feels over my stomach and breasts she tells me to get dressed and we need to talk more. She comes back in and says that might want to refer me for bariatric surgery, but I would have to lose about 100 lbs in order to have the surgery and then we could talk more about it... 100 lbs.... you think if I could just lose 100 lbs I would be in this situation. So I told her how I was planning on having surgery down in Mexico, that I had done a lot of research and have chose a surgeon that I believe to be wonderful. She got so angry about my plan and said absolutely not this is the dumbest idea and no one should ever consider surgery in Mexico. She just shut me down like that, then she said she wanted to see me in a week to go over a game plan and she wanted to see me put in some serious effort and I should be able to lose at least 5 lbs in that time.

Well I booked it out of there and got in my car and burst into tears. It was the most humiliated I had ever been. I truly believe that it is doctors like her that scare people who are overweight into not going to see doctors. They are scared of being openly ridiculed, judged as being a bad person, and humiliated as I just was by healers who should be there to help and support you, and not make you want to crawl into a hole and die. So, needless to say I don't plan on going back to see her anytime soon, just so she can amaze at how fat I am. 

I am now without a family doctor (by choice I do recognize that), did anyone else go through a surgery and then come back with no family doctor? What was your plan? Did you get the suggested blood work and x-rays done? And if yes then how did you go about doing that? Furthermore if there is anyone from the Calgary, AB area can you suggest any doctors that may take a new patient as I am now in the market! (preferably not an insufferable ****) Thanks, and love!

It sometimes (often) happens that when we post, all formatting and paragraphs get removed. This is just too chunky to read! If you  edit this and put back the paragraphs you probably put in in the first place, they will probably stay! They usually do! More people will read it then! 

I did read it, after my last post.  And wanted to send you a big e hug. That doctor was a cow! 

Thank you, I luckily had my husband's shoulder to cry on when I got home. And I did reformat it, hopefully it will be easier to read! It was basically a stream of consciousness when I was typing :P  

Yes, reads much better now!  I really feel for you! Patronising medical people really do NOT help! Do they think we are stupid? Just to encourage you, whatever you decide to do..... I was 290+ at my heaviest. With the aid of my bariatric surgery ( in my case the lapband), I have now been slim and active for six and a half years ( surgery almost 8 years ago). 

Well, I did manage to slog through it and all I can say is HOLY CRAP!     What a complete ass hat~  She has no understanding about morbid obesity whatsoever. It's one thing when you need to lose 30 pounds. A whole other animal when you need to lose 100+ pounds. Is there a board of medicine that you can report her to?  Her behavior is inexcusable.

Surely there is at least one doctor in Canada that will not treat you like a leper, a fat leper at that. I live in the U.S. and here we can just go find a new doctor. I'm not sure how that works in Canada, but you're right, you're going to need a pro WLS practitioner to follow you with labs and such. And when you go for the first consultation I'd bring up this doctor's behavior (keeping her nameless, of course.) You'll know pretty shortly if the new doctor is going to support you or trash you.

Despite having free healthcare (which is great don't get me wrong) it can be difficult to find a family doctor because they are usually at their max patient amount, so you really just have to go with whoever is taking patients. And thanks for slogging through my post, I know it is lengthy!

I think it would be worth it even if you have to drive a ways to get to a good doctor.  And before you even make an appointment, you could ask the receptionist on the phone if the doctor treats obese patients well and if he or she would be willing to do follow up after your WLS.  The receptionist probably won't want to say anything real negative about the doctor since she wants to keep her job, but I bet you'll be able to tell a lot from whatever answer she gives.

I have no advice about the surgery in Mexico/labs and Xrays and such, but I just wanted to say I'm sorry that you had this happen to you. The amount of prejudice against the obese in the medical community is staggering, and it's a shame that you had to run into it first hand. However, don't give up! I've been fortunate to have doctors who were truly helpful and concerned for my health, and never ever made me feel horrible for being severely overweight. Good luck finding just such a person to be your partner in your health care!

Thank you for the encouragement!