One Year Anniversary

In six days I will be celebrating my one year anniversary.  I'd like to preface this with: Do not read this if you're looking for a happy success story. 

 

Highest weight: 275

Pre-Op weight: 263

Current weight: 141

Original goal: 140

Personal amended goal: 130

 

This was a remarkably difficult journey for me. I had the misfortune of developing a marginal ulcer at 3 months post-op which resulted in losing 2.5 liters of blood. I still have the ulcer despite taking my medications as prescribed and abstaining from the use of NSAIDs. I am a non-smoker and a one beer a month social drinker. 

I've had people ask if I recommend the surgery (RNY) and if I think they want the truth I tell them if I knew what I'd go through I'd have a hard time doing it. 

I have more body-image issues now than I did before surgery. Clothes hang off of my body in weird places... Nope, never mind, that's my skin. I find myself being depressed because while my coworkers are rewarding themselves for a great fiscal year with cake, I'm sitting at my desk forcing myself to remember the awful sensation dumping causes. I have to explain to strangers that "yes, the food was delicious. No, there was nothing wrong with it. I'm full after 4 bites." I'm "thin" now so when I defend the poor woman some jerk just called double wide because they don't know I used to be her, I get looked at like a hypocrite or a martyr or liar. 

The grass is NOT greener on the other side, it's just fertilized with different bs. 

Im healthier. Mostly. But my complications have caused me to fall short on the exercise side of the deal I made with myself. I'm angry at how this experience has changed my life but I'm more angry at myself for not finding a way to turn this into a lesson for growth.  Everyday I look for something to be grateful for and I force myself to look in the mirror and see myself as beautiful. Maybe I was too weak for this surgery. 

I am proud of certain aspects and try to only see the good. I wi**** came a little easier. 

 

   

LOL meanwhile... you look freaking GORGEOUS!!!

Chin up :)

You're so right - the grass is not always greener! So sorry to hear what you have gone through.

But I can't believe you have to force yourself to see yourself as beautiful! You look stunning! 

Hope your ulcer heals soon. You look great!

It often takes a while for our heads to catch up with our bodies - particularly if we were overweight for some time ...   It also takes time to get used to our new life, but here's something - for the vast majority of us, it does eventually becomes second nature, both to live our new life and to live in our new bodies!

Some of us have to do work before surgery and some of us have to do work afterwards - you may be one of the latter and I hope you are able to get to a place where your life now is your new norm.

Getting thinner does not make our lives better in all aspects - we still have to deal with asses, rude people, rejection, unhappiness and all the things we probably had to deal with 100+ lbs ago.  We are not guaranteed fantastic jobs, relationships, a great social life etc - all those things come from within and we have to work on them just as much at our smaller size as we did at our bigger.

You look fantastic and I hope you are able to find peace in your new normal 

You had a very rough start. I am sorry to hear that.

I have some body image issues and also anxiety and depression, and I found a counselor with whom to talk. It helps me be able to vent my feelings in a safe place and also develop strategies for improving things.

I certainly don't think you are too weak for this surgery. I think you have very high expectations of yourself and are not giving yourself enough credit.

I hope that things improve for you. Take care

Hi I new to this forum and looking for answers and the best procedure for me,  I keep hearing ppl bash the band and I really though

that was my best option.  I,m  in my mid 40s and about 210 would like to see 140 because of my height .   have been very successful at losing

weight the problem is it always comes back.  I have so many questions and would love to hear from people real experiences.

P.S.  Brandi you look awesom don't listen to haters.