Help!!! My HR person is giving me a hard time and demanding details

I am only a couple of weeks away from surgery and my HR person was provided with a completed FMLA form that she refused to acknowledge.  A week after submitting it, I sent her an email asking if she had gotten it OK and when I could fill out Short term Disability forms.  She never replied.  yesterday when I called her on the phone she demanded (yes demanded and not asked) that I tell her exactly what surgery I was having.  The doctor had said "major abdominal" surgery in the forms.  When I told her I preferred not to discuss it and that legally, she had as much details as she needed, she became defensive and said "ohhhhh realllly???, I'll see about that!!"
It is not personal, she has given every person who has ever taken medical leave a hassle abiut it; harrassing them during their leave abiut when they are comeing back etc. 

My attendence record is exemplary and I haven't had a sick day in over 4 years.  Where do I turn for help?

I would go to her boss or your boss and explain what is happening.  If she doesn't have a boss, go to your comptroller or payroll person or ask the office manager person who is in charge of the HR person.

That is total BS.

You've gotten good advice on here so I have nothing to add.  Just want to commiserate and say that your HR person is a complete and total *****!!!  OMG - why do people like that go into "human" resources?  Despicable behavior....and GOOD FOR YOU for standing up for yourself! 

Totally agree with Civilmomma!  this is the way to get the ball rolling!  She is getting away with illegal behavior and if yours or her boss does not correct it, the company could suffer a costly lawsuit.  Not that I would make that threat but that is why you need to address this issue NOW.

I hope this helps you: (US Dept of Labor)

It is unlawful for any employer to interfere with, restrain, or deny the exercise of or the attempt to exercise any right provided by the FMLA. It is also unlawful for an employer to discharge or discriminate against any individual for opposing any practice, or because of involvement in any proceeding, related to the FMLA. See Fact Sheet 77B: Protections for Individuals under the FMLA. The Wage and Hour Division is responsible for administering and enforcing the FMLA for most employees. Most federal and certain congressional employees are also covered by the law but are subject to the jurisdiction of the U.S. Office of Personnel Management or Congress. If you believe that your rights under the FMLA have been violated, you may file a complaint with the Wage and Hour Division or file a private lawsuit against your employer in court. For additional information, visit our Wage and Hour Division Website: http://www.wagehour.dol.gov and/or call our toll-free information and helpline, available 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. in your time zone, 1-866-4USWAGE (1-866-487-9243). 

Excellent! I'd suggest copying and pasting this in an email, or printing it out and sticking it in your HR person's mailbox.

I would ask my supervisor to intervene with HR and explain that I had provided as much detail as I am going to provide.

I would ask my supervisor to get me the forms, since HR does not want to help.

I would stop dealing with HR as much as possible as to not escalate that situation.

In my case, I offered to tell HR about my surgery and they shut me down, did not WANT to know ... They referred me directly to the STD company.  STD are the ones who decide if your procedure qualifies for coverage under the companies policy.

All that my HR people knew was Yes for my WLS and NO for my plastics, 2 years later, so I just took vacation for that.

Good luck!!

sorry for what you're going through.

but...drop a dime on the *****  And yes, it's personal. She's getting her jollies by tormenting others.  With that history of abuse, that's someone who actually deserves the unemployment line.

Thank you all for your words of encouragment.  I am nervous enough as it is waiting for surgery but to deal with this nightmare of a person is making it worse!!!   Last night I hardly slept and I know it was due to worry.  I will contact the FMLA line and seek further advice.