Time to B*tch, Moan and Whine: B*TCHFest!
HERE ARE THE RULES: "B*TCHFest" is provided as a public service to those of us who have gripes and grievances but whom, for whatever reason, lack a regular forum in which to air them. You are welcome to voice any problems - large or small, important, mundane or ridiculous - that currently have your panties wadded, your shorts frosted and your gears ground. Don't hold them in and risk future medical issues, wrinkles and/or those pesky gray hairs.
ANY and ALL issues that are plaguing you are open for you to voice; there are no "sacred cows." They say that "feelings aren't facts", so if you're feeling it, it's legit to you. NO ONE is allowed to flame a poster for something he or she writes, however commiseration is not only welcomed but encouraged. Please, no personal attacks against other OH members (at least, not by name).
I'll start you off with one of mine, and you all can join in at any time! No limits - come back as many times as you like!
WARNING! Adult content ahead!
Ready? Let's begin.
- I'll have to start with one I made a mere two months ago: I HATE HAVING A COLD. I'm not a big baby about them, but for God's sake, I just got over one and here comes the Kleenex Express again.
Okay, it's your turn. Let the wild rumpus begin!
1. Get out of the passing lane when you are NOT passing anyone! WTF!!!!
2. I'm a newbie but if I hear one more thing about a freaking stall or being upset that they only lost ___ amount of weight this week I am going to scream. What the ham sandwich were your expectations with your surgery? Never mind...don't answer that... I don't care. Just be happy with what you have.
3. To my body... can you please give the feeling back to the front of my body. My enter front side is numb and I slept on my remote control all night and never felt it. I had buttons marks on my belly.
4. Clean up after your dog! The dog is cute. **** is not cute.
5. Clean your apartment. There is no reason the smell of funk should come out of your apartment with the door closed. Why am I smelling the essence of your home while standing outside in the elements!!???!!
OK here we go..... MICRO Managers.... Try to manage every little detail all the time, yet end up screwing things up worse. The kind of people you can tell the sky is blue and still be too vague for them. Some people can be so smart that they are idiots. Whatever happened to common sense?
Slow walkers who meander all over the aisle, blocking anyone who would like to pass. I am not referring to people who have difficulty walking, rather those who conduct every trip to the market as a Sunday stroll.
People who don't have at least a passing acquaintance with soap, water, and deodorant. I'm not talking about someone who just came from the gym or whose deodorant just let them down. I'm talking about people who smell like old sweat, greasy hair, smelly feet, or just general funk emanating into the atmosphere, gagging us all. C'mon, people, take a shower!.
Those who butt into every conversation and offer LOUD opinions unasked for. Have a Coke and a smile and shut your pie hole.
Today, just people in general.
I fight badgers with spoons.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-8255
Friends with children who think their kids are the most fascinating creatures ever to be put on earth. One couple in particular insists that their kids "perform" for us whenever we go to their house. The kids are now teenagers, so we're treated to very bad karaoke renditions of "Smoke on the Water," "Stairway to Heaven" and every song recorded by Sublime. I'm coming to see YOU, not your annoying kids. Do you know how LONG "Stairway to Heaven" is? And how many times do I have to listen to it because you want me to hear how they've "improved?"
And speaking of annoying kids, these people have never taught their kids any manners about not interrupting people when they're speaking. The adults will be having a conversation, and one of the brats will pop up with something to get attention in the middle of someone speaking. They told us when their kids were young that they "didn't want to break their spirits." Well, what you've created are total attention ***** monsters and I hate going to your house. The oldest brat, a 18 year old boy who just started college, is an expert in everything. I realize that's not uncommon for an 18 year old boy, but the parents NEVER CORRECT him when he's wrong. He was telling us how difficult it is to be 18. Right. You have no job, all your bills are paid by your parents, you live at home and they bought you a car. Sob, sob. Woe is you. They are the epitome of upper middle class entitlement expecting douche bags.
The parents, who used to be major pot smoking/meth head/coke bangers back in the day, have now found Jesus, Glenn Beck and Bill O'Reilly and try to convert everyone to their brand of right wing Republican family values
"Oderint Dum Metuant" Discover the joys of the Five Day Meat Test!
Height: 5'-7" HW: 449 SW: 392 GW: 179 CW: 220