The notion of the "right way" after surgery.

I am getting irritated by posts giving the "right way" to lose weight. I am not referring to following rules set down by our own medical team - there is a right way there- to trust our doctors. A lot of people make useful suggestions saying "this worked for me, it may not for you" and that is really helpful. But my view is we all need to find our own personal way, listening to how others do it but working to see what suits us as individuals.

My way would be disastrous for many! So much so that people would warn against it! But what would be disastrous for me would be the food obsession that I would develop of I started counting, measuring, recording, cutting out food groups. 

This is MY way and at 8 1/2 years post-op, I can say with confidence that it works for ME.

I count nothing. But I do know very well which foods are healthy, rich in nutrients etc.. I do know calorific values so occasionally I do a quick mental check to make sure I am eating what I think I am eating. Maybe once every two months. 

I made healthy choices about 80% of the time in the first 15 months while in the losing states; probably about 70% while maintaining. 

i eat all food groups. I actually have no idea how to count carbs! 

I don't measure portions, I eat small amounts. Every now and then, I will weigh something, again just to check I have not gone off course, again every few months.

If I am not hungry, I don't eat. For example, I rarely eat breakfast.

if I am hungry at a non-meal time, I have a hot drink or get busy. If I am still wanting food (irrelevant whether it is physical or head hunger), I eat something filling like (if I am at home) a small fish fillet. If I am out, half a sandwich from a healthy- options range.

For me the key is moderation not deprivation. This is for life not just a few years. 

Horrifying for many! Works for me!

I love this post!  Thank you for this.  We all should do what works best for US. 

Absolutely.  I have been following my drs routine and doing what I need to do.  I need to journal my food.  I need to measure my food.  I need to exercise.  I need to do this because I am changing to a better and more healthy lifestyle and I need to form better and more healthy habits in order for this tool to continue working.

Maybe in the future I won't "need" to do this and be more like you where it is now ingrained into your daily life. 

Thanks for the perspective.

 Agreed, Kate.

There is no one-size-fits-all approach. I drink coffee every day, for example, and that would not work for some.

Preach it sister!

I have over 40 years of history of doing what doesn't work but not a hell of a lot doing with what did work so it is a learning process and very individual.

I am sure that my way wouldn't work for a lot of people, too.  Because it is custom made for me.  I make my own rules so I don't fail.  Failure=giving up=eating whatever I want=morbid obesity.  So I have made it virtually impossible to fail.  Eat something I didn't plan to?  I put in on my plan.  So now I am on plan again.

I don't have near the experience you do in maintaining my weight so I learn from people who do have experience and if I hear something good I try it out and see if it fits.  If not I don't buy it.  

Good for you! I'm only two months out so after so many decades of doing things wrong I am following my Dr's guidelines for the most part. Hopefully, like you after having some success and experience I too will be able to make good selections without needing to weight food or cut out any particular food group. As you said "the key is moderation". Your good results proves your good choices.

I agree with this 100 percent Kate. The posts that claim to follow the one successful path really get me steamed. There is more than one way to do this, and things that work for one person may not work for another.

I have lost all of my excess weight and have been maintaining for a year and a half. I certainly don't know everything, but I know what has worked for me, and what I can live with going forward. 

I do not eat remotely like some of the self-proclaimed experts here say we must, and I don't spend my time at the gym the way some do, either. But I have been just as successful as them, and I couldn't be happier.

Thank you for posting this.  Although I'm still in weight loss mode, I've read many posts from some people who advocate that it's "their way or the highway."  As each individual person differs, so does the approach that will work best for them.

I think it's rather paternalistic and arrogant for some to assume that they have all the answers, and to demean advice from long term successful vets that contradicts their personal viewpoint.  It's almost a cult mentality they advocate.  

I think the insights of anyone who has been successful at maintaining weight loss long term should be validated, and to bash others shows a great deal of insecurity, IMHO.

Congrats Kate on your long term weight maintenance.   And with the lap band to boot!!  Thanks to you and all the vets who lend sanity to the newbies and not so newbies.