Never say "forever"

This is really aimed at newbies or those just a few years out, from a vet ( very successful) of almost nine years. Surgery is truly wonderful. One of the best things I ever did. But please realise, the battles now may be won, but the war goes on for life. Surgery puts our food issues into remission; it doesn't cure them 

We have different wls tools, but they can all be awesome! But we need to be bear in mind that we became obese because we had food problems. We didn't get obese because we ate too many carrots. We got obese because we ate too much of the wrong foods. Even too much healthy food! We may have explained this to ourselves in all sorts of ways (medication, stress, trauma, physiology) but however we explained it, we had an unhealthy relationship with food. 

We realised this. We took the brave, and for many of us, expensive step of having surgery.

Most of us worked our socks off to make that surgery help us change our attitudes to food. And very many of us lost a lot of weight!

Success! A new figure, yes. New health, yes. New person? 

Sorry. No! That person is still there. 

Let me tell my story - it really is very common.

Year one post-op.Surgery. High motivation. Excellent food choices. Good loss.

Year 2. All my excess weight in around 15 months. Lovely, tiny clothes. Felt so good. Motivation high.

Year 3. Motivation still high. But actually realised I didn't look good. Too thin!!!!!! Allowed a little weight gain. Very happy. My relationship with food was balanced. I ate because I was hungry. I found it easy to say "no". 

Year 4, settled into the pattern which suited me.  Basically I relaxed for a few weeks, tightened it right up for a week. Stayed in a 5lb comfort zone.

Year 5.  Comfort zone widened to 10lbs and I was usually at the top end of it. But still in control.

Year 6  the struggle started. Old habits resurfaced. Things like "I've blown it today so I may as well carry on until Monday". Just one more cookie/glass of wine. Yes, I will have a dessert. 

I am now almost at Year 9.  Life is nowhere near as hard as it was before surgery. I am still in my US size 10/12 clothes. But they vary from very loose to very tight indeed. I FIGHT. I generally win  the battle more often than I lose. But my regain and then my subsequent fight to lose now involve blips of 20 or so pounds.

This post is not to discourage. The opposite! You have had surgery. It can change your life. But don't get complacent. Stay in control!

Thanks Kate. You really are an inspiration. Thanks for sticking around.

Thanks, Grim,  I don't see myself as an inspiration! More as a horrid warning!! I think that is where vets truly can help - by sharing not just their successes but their problems.  It is people doing that who have, over many years, kept me more or less on track!

People's successes can be inspirational but it can cause anxiety to those struggling if they perceive surgery as being a magic tool.  It's more of a magician's apprentice or assistant than the actual magician. 

No, not a horrid warning... a done of REALITY that many newbies need.

As you said, your story is extremely common, and people need to understand that we are ALL subject to regain for a variety of reasons.  Newbies need to know that their motivation will NOT always be as high as it is the first two years (no matter how much some one-year-out, post-and-run newbies want to claim "victory" over obesity)!

EXCELLENT post. 

I have to save this post for later. Thank you, Kate. I am trying not to worry about it yet, but I do know - thanks to all of you vets who continue to come to the site - that losing this weight will actually be the easy part... And the war never ends. Dammit.  

That said, my job right now is to focus on the losing end of the battles.  But I will come back to this advice next year, and the year after, and so on... 

As another vet of greater than 11 years, I will second all you said. It is not a magic fix. It still takes work and perseverance to be successful. If you gain weight back, it does not mean that the tool is broken or it is time for a revision.

Amen Kate!

Only 5 years out and now struggling with my old demons!

Awesome post!

Kate,

I know your words are so true.  l learned this in a rather quick way. We can't go back to old habits. I am only 2 months out post op from my R&Y. However, I lost 108 lbs doing ww from 9/2008  to 5/2011 and then had to struggle with the scale going up and down about 20-25 lbs to 1/2014 never reaching that 108 lbs loss again. Stopped ww all together and had a free for all from 1/2014 to 9/2014 and said enough is enough I can't do this. I was back up just 20 lbs from my highest weight! That is when  I went to see my WLS doctor and began the process to have WLS. I know this has to be a life style change and I can never go back to those old habits if I want to feel good about me. Gaining that weight back made me feel worse than I have ever felt in my life. I did not feel good physically and I hated myself for how I let it come back and how I looked. I pray I never let myself get out of control again.

These boards are great, staying connected with people like you really help the fight!! We are all in this together!

Thank you for sharing your experience. It's nice to hear an honest, sincere take on life post-WLS instead of someone puking glitter rainbows less than a year after surgery about how they are cured. I can only hope that I will be a successful vet someday, and if I am it will be because of people like you who are willing to share it all with us new kids.

Those who accept reality are usually those who succeed! So you will probably be a long term success!