Responses when I tell people

on 3/5/18 3:43 pm

So I am sure that this has been discussed before, but I guess I am finding it sort of funny with how predictable the responses are that I've been getting when I tell people that surgery is in the works for me :)

I can pretty much classify them in to a few groups:

Those that have never struggled with weight issues: "Geeze! That's hard core! Couldn't you just like... diet and exercise to lose the weight?"

Women who are overweight themselves: "oh, wow. Well, I just know SO many horror stories about how one of those surgeries went wrong, I wouldn't do it myself...." (then changes the subject right away)

Men I work with (very techy): *blink in slight confusion*. "cool! So, like, do you get to SEE the stomach they cut out of you??"

Luckily I also have a lot of: "Wow, this is a huge decision but I know you researched like hell and I support whatever you want to do!" and those are the important ones. But the classifications are funny.

What other ones have YOU heard?

on 3/5/18 4:49 pm - Philadelphia, PA
RNY on 04/28/15

i never discussed my decision pre-op, only only selectively did so post op. When you don't tell, you don't have to deal with the feedback.

I truly can't think of a single negative or indifferent reponse I got from anyone I know who knows.

5'6.5" High weight:337 Lowest weight:193/31 BMI: Goal: 195-205/31-32 BMI

Shannon S.
on 3/5/18 4:53 pm
VSG on 11/07/17

Oh yes!! I got all those plus the "I know people who died having that surgery". Of course they think all stomach stapling procedures are equal! I'm a nurse, and I've never heard of anyone dying!! Does it happen? Sure it does! So do airplane crashes.

I realized early on in my pre-op stage that those comments weren't worth entertaining.

on 3/13/18 7:54 pm

It' really good to hear people in the medical profession state their point of view. Thanks.

Shannon S.
on 3/14/18 3:52 pm
VSG on 11/07/17

You're very welcome.

Kathleen W.
on 3/5/18 6:04 pm - Lancaster, PA

Before surgery, I didn't tell anyone what I was doing.. None of their business. Afterwards, I only told a select few.

I did have complications from my wls but it was because the surgeon didn't listen when I told him of a problem(stiches breaking). Spent 10 months in hospitals and nursing home getting my health back.

Would I do it again? In a heart beat. Before hand, I was slowly killing myself. WLS gave me my life back. During my 10 months, I realized that it made me STRONG!!!! Wouldn't trade it in for anything/

SW 327
GW 150
CW 126


Cecily C.
on 3/5/18 8:21 pm - CA
VSG on 02/22/17

I didn't get a single negative comment like you describe. Everyone I told was extremely supportive.

Ht: 6' HWEver: 338 StartW: 282.8 SurgeryW: 268.9 GW: 170 CW: 166.2

Pre-Op:-17 M1:-17.8 M2:-12.2 M3:-9 M4:-12 M5:-11 M6:-8.4 M7:-10.2 M8:-11.4 M9:-6.8 M10:-7 Goal reached 11/9/17! (37 weeks, 1 day) First plastics (LBL, medial thigh lift, fat transfer to rear) 5/08/18

on 3/8/18 10:46 am
Revision on 10/04/16


Band-RNY revision age 50 5'4" HW 260 SW: 244 (bf healthy range 23-35%) bf 23.7% (at 137lbs) cw range 135-138.lbl with butt lift and mastoplexy March 23, 2018...2.5lbs removed.

Pre-op-16lbs (size 18/20...244) M1-16lbs (size 18...228) M2-15.6lbs (size 16/18...212.4) M3-10lbs (size 16..202.4) M4-11.4lbs (size 14...191) M5-10.8lbs (size 12...180.2) M6-8.4 (size 8/10...171.8) M7-6.4 (size 8...165.4 lbs) M8-11.6 (size 6...153.8) M9-5.6 (size 4/6...148.2) M10-5.8 (size 4....142.4) M11-4 (size 2/4...138.4) Surgiversary -1 (size 2/4...137.4) M13-2.6 (size 2/4...134.8) M14 (size 2/4...134.8) M15 (size 2...135) M16 (size 2...131.4) M17 (size 2...135) M18 (size 2...135) M19 (size 2...138) M20 (size 2...135) M21 (size 2...138)

Erin T.
on 3/6/18 3:13 am
VSG on 01/17/17

People don't mention my weight loss anymore, but I've always been very open about my surgery. What worked best for me was to address every: "Wow, you look fantastic, what have you been doing?!" with an overly cheery and positive: "Yeah, I had weight loss surgery!" When you use that tone, it literally gives them nothing to argue with. How you feel about the decision is obvious. Normally, the response then became either an enthusiastic: "Good for you!" or they mumbled something and changed the subject. My husband loves to watch me give that response and then chuckle into his sleeve.

I have certainly had those people who told me about their cousin's aunt's sister's brother who gained all the weight back, or the remote connection they had to someone who died during the surgery, or most often how they didn't feel I needed it because I was 'never that big'. I've even had medical staff tell me I look more healthy or have been more successful than other patients they've seen (which doesn't make sense, because I'm only 13 months out so success is relative here).

VSG: 1/17/17

5'7" HW: 283 SW: 229 CW: 130-ish GW: 145

Pre-op: 53 M1: 22 M2: 12 M3: 12 M4: 8 M5: 10 M6: 11 M7: 5 M8: 6 M9-M13: 15-ish

LBL/BL w/ Fat Transfer 1/29/18

Shannon S.
on 3/14/18 3:54 pm
VSG on 11/07/17

Great response!! Gave me a chuckle.