Now that you've lost weight, how do you view other MO people?

on 5/13/18 7:25 am
RNY on 02/28/17

I had a RNY 2/28/17 and have lost more than half of my body weight, So much has changed for me, my health and fitness are better than they've been in 30 years, and I feel like I've been given a new life! I've spent almost all of my adult life being MO/SMO and adjusting to my new thin and fit body has been difficult sometimes.

One thing that I've noticed, especially since I made goal is that I often view other MO people differently. Just wondering how other OH'ers feel.

When I'm on the bus or the train and I see a MO person who either takes up 2 seats or has to stand because they don't fit in the seats, I feel so sad for them. Sometimes I want to go hug them or hold their hand and tell them my story about my WLS success and what it might do for them. Then I fight with myself to mind my own business and not be the WLS Messenger

I also find that I look at overweight people and feel sad that they have life limitations like I did for most of my life.

Now that you've had WLS and lost some weight or made goal, how do you view other MO people? Do you feel sad for them? Angry that they haven't taken control of their lives and lost the weight? Want to share the Good News of WLS? Do you hand out the business card of your surgeon?

One thing that I've found since surgery is that body image is not just about how I see myself in the mirror, but it often extends to how I see others around me. Just wanted to share! All the best wherever you are on your journey!

HW: 248, SW (2/17): 244, GW (10/17): 125, CW: 117-122

RNY w/ Joseph Afram: 2/28/2017; Plastics w/ Douglas Forman: Extended mastopexy, Extended abdominoplasty-5/18/2018

White Dove
on 5/13/18 8:26 am, edited 5/13/18 1:27 am

We all feel at first like we want to save the other person by telling them about the surgery. I call it the born-again period. It lasts for about three years.

The reality is that many of those morbidly obese people are weight loss surgery failures. By year five, many have gained back half of their lost weight. Some have gained back 100%. Some have gained back to much more than before their surgery. Surgery is only a tool and is only as successful as the person having the surgery.

I would never, never, ever discuss weight loss surgery with a stranger. Weight loss surgery is not a secret procedure. It is known, discussed, advertised openly and offered by almost any physician. Most obese people gave either tried to have surgery or have had surgery. Short term success is normal. Long term success is more rare.

The reason that everyone knows someone who had the surgery, lost their weight and gained it all back is because that is such a common outcome.

Real life begins where your comfort zone ends

on 5/13/18 8:50 am
RNY on 02/28/17

That's exactly why I don't talk about it unless directly asked and sometimes just tell people that I exercise alot and eat carefully. That is true.

HW: 248, SW (2/17): 244, GW (10/17): 125, CW: 117-122

RNY w/ Joseph Afram: 2/28/2017; Plastics w/ Douglas Forman: Extended mastopexy, Extended abdominoplasty-5/18/2018

H.A.L.A B.
on 5/13/18 9:52 am

That. I personally know MO or Obese people who had WLS a few years ago, and regained most or all their weight back.

Unless someone is really committed to lifestyle changes - I think WLS has a potential to make them worse, not better. Why? Because the weight loss was only temporary for them, while vitamins- minerals deficiencies last forever. Not only some of them are back to being MO - now they also deal with things like severe deficiencies, plus "addiction transfer".

It is sad for me to see that.

Hala. RNY 5/14/2008; Happy At Goal =HAG

"I can eat or do anything I want to - as long as I am willing to deal with the consequences"

"Failure is not falling down, It is not getting up once you fell... So pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again...."

T Hagalicious Rebel

on 5/13/18 8:52 am - Brooklyn
VSG on 04/25/14 with

I view other MO people as my mirror. I see myself in them. I feel like telling them that I'm one of you, don't believe what you see. The hangups with food is still there to some degree.

I also keep in mind that they might've already had the surgery, so I don't want to judge based on appearances. I would've been mortified if someone gave me the name of a surgeon after I had surgery.

No one surgery is better than the other, what works for one may not work for another. T-Rebel

on 5/13/18 9:37 am - Philadelphia, PA
RNY on 04/28/15

I just have empathy. I know the struggle, or, and I know the cluelessness some may carry about their health/weight. I'm never angry, or even sad for them. I just get it. I never feel moved to tell them about my story... hell I still fall in the obese category, so they may be looking at me the same way!

What moves me more are when people talk about obviously weight related Health issues. They are looking for a fix without considering their diet or exercise. Then is when I'm tempted to try and get them to see the root of the issue they are ignoring. But I end up sounding like a Debbie downer, so I'm careful to only delve in if I know the person well.

5'6.5" High weight:337 Lowest weight:193/31 BMI: Goal: 195-205/31-32 BMI

The Salty Hag
on 5/13/18 1:05 pm
RNY on 05/20/13

I don't know that I view MO people any differently, to me..they're just people trying to live their lives and always have been. I look at society as a whole differently-mostly to do with food choices and portion size. It's astounding how much food normies can and do pack in, especially at restaurants. Bread, more bread, apps, salad, entree, dessert-and about 5 or 6 refills on drinks.

I do sometimes get a certain look from obese women; looks that I'm sure I gave many "normal" weighted women before my weight loss. To those women, I want to reach out and say "I get it. I really do.", but I don't dare because if if were me and some woman came up to me and told me that, I'd slug her.

If I deal directly with anyone who is obese-such as they're a waiter or waitress, or a cashier, I do try to be extra nice because people are often automatically more rude to MO people than they would be to a thinner person.

I woke up in between a memory and a dream...

Tom Petty

Valerie G.
on 5/13/18 2:19 pm - Northwest Mountains, GA

One of the things I found after losing weight was my voice at work. I never felt worthy to offer up an opinion, and when I did, I was rarely taken seriously anyway. After losing my weight, I cannot tell you how many times I'm asked "what do you think, Val?" That being said, if I'm leading a meeting, I will always make sure the obese one in the room has their voice when it comes to opinions. Sometimes I'll outright ask them, but I often do brainstorming activities where they participate on a more anonymous level so they can give their opinion freely.

11 years post op DS 
There is room on this earth for all of God's to the mashed potatoes

(deactivated member)
on 5/13/18 3:40 pm
VSG on 10/11/16

I have not read the other replies. When I see other MO people, I feel sympathy. It is a genetic problem. I would like to reach out and help them, but I realize it is also a mental problem. We (they) have to come to a realization. No one can force another one to see the issue.

Cathy H.
on 5/13/18 5:55 pm
VSG on 10/31/16

First I think, "There but for the grace of God...and VSG...go I." I never really noticed other SMO people before because I was too busy noticing normal people noticing me. Now, I see them and after thinking how it used to be me, my next thought is that I wish they could know what I know now, and they could get healthy, too.

Yesterday I was sitting at the exit of Walmart waiting for my sister to check out. I was people watching. What I noticed was half the people who walked by me were MO or SMO. One family came in and Dad was very SMO, late teens/early 20s daughter was SMO, and tween son was MO. My heart broke for those kids, they didn't have a chance. I could just imagine what their grocery cart would look like when they checked out...just like mine used to, I'm sure, full of high carb, high fat foods.

It just make me sad and I feel helpless, wishing I could do something, but knowing I can't.

5'3", CW: 165 Ultimate Goal: 150 ............. Livin' La KETO Loca!!
134 lbs lost since surgery, 195 overall!! Initial goal reached 9/15/17, (10.5 months)!
SW*: 299 GW: 175 HW 3/2015: 360 PSW* 5/2016: 330 *PSW=Prog Start Wt; SW=Surgery Wt

M1 -31, M2 -10, M3 -15, M4 -16, M5 -8, M6 -6, M7 -11, M8 -8, M9 -8, M10 -4, M10.5 -7 GOAL