Now that you've lost weight, how do you view other MO people?

(deactivated member)
on 5/14/18 5:11 am

I have a TON of sympathy in my heart but usually I say nothing...

it took me many years and weekly therapy to even consider a way out ... more to INSIST on it . We all DESERVE help .

catwoman7
on 5/14/18 7:28 am
RNY on 06/03/15

like a couple of the other posters, I notice MO and SMO people a lot more now, too. I even notice basic "overweight" people now. I don't know why I didn't before, unless i was so self-conscious about myself that I just didn't notice. Well, I occasionally noticed - esp with folks 300+ pounds (and I was one of them), but not like I do now...

RNY 06/03/15 by Michael Garren (Madison, WI)

HW: 373 SW: 316 GW: 150 LW: 138 CW: 163

Notaboutperfect
on 5/14/18 7:43 am
VSG on 11/08/16

My dad is MO and has struggled with it for so long. It breaks my heart, makes me angry, empathetic, and anxious. Of course, he knows all about my surgery. I have to accept that he is in control and let go of trying to pull him down the path I took. I've told him whatever he needs, I will support him. He is choosing not to do anything about his weight and I'm making myself respect his right. But I hate it and am so afraid of losing him.

When I see people I do not know, I haven't really gotten to a place that I feel different from them. Still waiting for my brain to catch up.

Kristi T.
on 5/14/18 9:22 am - MT
VSG on 02/09/16

Rarely did people make eye contact with me. Now I make sure to always make eye contact and smile if I pass anyone who is MO or SMO, always. I noticed and it made me feel insignificant and invisible, I don't want anyone else to feel that way.

Miss150
on 5/14/18 6:11 pm

Yes, a positive gesture that recognizes and acknowledges the dignity of a fellow human being--Well done. Well said.

  goal!!! August 20, 2013   age: 59  High weight: 345 (June, 2011)  Consult weight: 293 (June, 2012)  Pre-Op: 253 (Nov., 2012) Surgery weight: 235 (Dec. 12, 2012) Current weight: 145

 TOTAL POUNDS LOST- 200 (110 pounds lost before surgery, 90 pounds lost Post Op.diabetes in remission-blood pressure normal-cholesterol and triglyceride levels normal!  BMI from 55.6  supermorbidly obese to 23.6  normal!!!!  

 

 

hollykim
on 5/14/18 11:03 am - Nashville, TN
Revision on 03/18/15
On May 13, 2018 at 2:25 PM Pacific Time, Librarian67 wrote:

I had a RNY 2/28/17 and have lost more than half of my body weight, So much has changed for me, my health and fitness are better than they've been in 30 years, and I feel like I've been given a new life! I've spent almost all of my adult life being MO/SMO and adjusting to my new thin and fit body has been difficult sometimes.

One thing that I've noticed, especially since I made goal is that I often view other MO people differently. Just wondering how other OH'ers feel.

When I'm on the bus or the train and I see a MO person who either takes up 2 seats or has to stand because they don't fit in the seats, I feel so sad for them. Sometimes I want to go hug them or hold their hand and tell them my story about my WLS success and what it might do for them. Then I fight with myself to mind my own business and not be the WLS Messenger

I also find that I look at overweight people and feel sad that they have life limitations like I did for most of my life.

Now that you've had WLS and lost some weight or made goal, how do you view other MO people? Do you feel sad for them? Angry that they haven't taken control of their lives and lost the weight? Want to share the Good News of WLS? Do you hand out the business card of your surgeon?

One thing that I've found since surgery is that body image is not just about how I see myself in the mirror, but it often extends to how I see others around me. Just wanted to share! All the best wherever you are on your journey!

honestly,I was totally horrified about my own morbid obesity and I was and am still slightly horrified about the morbid obesity of others now.

That is coupled with sadness for them and a hope that they will find their way out of morbid obesity,if that is what they choose. I am also profoundly greatful that I was able to find my way out through surgery.

telling someone who hasn't brought the subject up with me,is like, to me, asking a woman when her baby is due only to be told that she is not pregnant. Mortifying for the other person and insensitive on the part of the speaker,even if it was meant kindly.

 


          

 

Au_Contraire
on 5/14/18 7:40 pm, edited 5/14/18 12:42 pm

On the other hand, what started me actually considering that WLS could be a real option for me was the story a nurse who drew blood from me told me a couple of years ago. I had never met her before. I don't recall precisely what led to her telling me about her surgery. I may have said that people often had difficulty in drawing blood from me, and that that had always been true regardless of whether I was thin or fat. Perhaps she saw that as an open door to tell me of her success with surgery. She didn't suggest i have it, she just said that it had transformed her life, that it wasn't magic, but was instead a tool which had enabled her to reach a normal weight after having been SMO. I didn't feel judged or embarrassed by her confidence. It just made me start thinking, for the first time, that there might be something there for me, too. I am grateful to her for speaking up. So much is in the delivery!

But in general, I feel compassion for and kindness toward people who are very heavy. I am still losing and will be for many months yet to come, so it's not like I'm close to goal, but I am so much smaller than I was in the beginning. It seems to me that virtually everyone on earth has some sort of screwy issue, and some have many. Obesity is just so incredibly visible. Kindness is a terribly underrated virtue, one which goes a long way.

Queen JB
on 5/14/18 2:28 pm
RNY on 07/20/15

I don't see people differently but I did go through a period of wanting to save everyone. However, I remember back to when I was in my 20s. and I got very heavy. I had never heard of surgery outside of horror stories about people dying from "stomach stapling". The only thing I knew about it was that it was for super super super super fat people (my uninformed perception, obviously). Anyway, I had a casual acquaintance who had the surgery and when she was under a year out and feeling awesome about herself, she pulled me aside and told me I should have it. I wanted to die. I mean, like actually literally DIE. I never saw myself like that and I guess I thought I was hiding it well. Fast forward to 20 years later and after my surgery I wanted to pull everyone aside to tell them, but I always remember that moment and remember that my excitement could actually be very hurtful to someone else. It has really helped me keep my savior complex in check.

  • High Weight before LapBand: 200 (2008)
  • High Weight before RNY: 160 (2015)
  • Lowest post-op weight: 110 (2016)
  • Maintenance Weight: 120 (2017-2019)
  • Battling Regain Weight: 135 (current)

crqvingchange
on 5/14/18 7:27 pm

In the gym I will see someone that is morbidly obese working out and I try to give them the 2 thumbs up and smile at their hard work. I want them to feel encouraged and supported. They always smile the biggest smile back.

When I see others that are morbidly obese, I am sad because I know their struggles, but also I am afraid because it reminds me that I never want to go back there. I never want to give up my mobility, my new found strength and energy.

CENTURY CLUB MEMBER at 6 months post-op.

Referral to Guelph Feb/13, Sleep study and all bloodwork and ultrasound May/13, orientation July/13. Nurse, NUT,SW Sept/13, 2nd NUT, nurse and SW, 3rd round and cleared for surgery Dec/13. Pre-op Apr 7/14, Surgeon May 2/14, Opti Jul 3/14, surgery Jul 17/14.

seattledeb
on 5/14/18 11:33 pm

Well I am MO. I've been SMO,MO,O, and now MO almost O again.

I don't judge on where someone's body is today.

For me I have to love my body no matter where I am in the process.

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