cookout-BBQ questions

on 5/24/19 8:54 pm

i just have a question or 2. i live in an apartment complex where most of the people are very obese & yes they like to have cookouts & BBQ's and today was one of those days i wanted to go but was dreading. even though it was a covered dish & the landlord grilled hotdogs and hamburgers i brought my own food. is this wrong? i have been to these functions before & there isn't alot of selection for people like me, lots of macaroni salads, desserts, koolwhip jello salads, lots of breads, heavy carbs etc. today i brought a boiled egg, some sliced cucumbers, fresh pineapple & had a small hamburger patty w/out the bun, cheese or condiments. i looked around and everyone it seemed was eating 3 or 4 hot dogs/hamburgers plus all the sides and it kind of bothered me. does this get easier over time? so what do you do eat first before you go to these functions? i mean these people are really nice don't get me wrong but i just can't eat like they do. they ate more today in one meal then i would eat in one week. i used to eat that way alot and that wasn't all that long ago. do others take their own food to these types of functions? just wondering. thanks so much.

White Dove
on 5/25/19 5:04 am

I always bring a salad with lots of greens and sliced chicken or steak or a fruit salad. I don't bring food just for me, but something to share with others.

I have a great bowl for this purpose only. It is clear heavy glass with a plastic lid. My fruit salad goes in this order pineapple, strawberries, kiwi fruit, bananas, oranges, grapes, and blueberries. It makes a pretty presentation in the glass bowl.

My green salad will usually have spring greens, sliced cherry tomatoes, red onions, toasted pecans and fresh berries. I want it to be colorful and inviting as well as delicious.

I also think about them having a stomach that easily holds the amount in a two-liter bottle of soda and me having a tiny stomach that can be filled up with the amount that would fit in the bottlecap from that two liter bottle of soda.

When I look at it that way, I am the one who is stuffing my stomach full.

I don't sit in one spot for very long, but keep moving around a talking with people. My salads are always finished by the end of the party and if not, the lid is great for taking the leftover amount home.

Real life begins where your comfort zone ends

on 5/25/19 5:20 am
RNY on 02/14/18

I attend a lot of food based social events and I bring a dish to share - sometimes it's something I know I will eat and sometimes it's something I know I won't eat but others will enjoy. If I know there isn't going to be a lot of options to choose from, I'll have my meal before hand and just socialize and have water/tea/coffee; if I know there will be protein options, I will hit those.

I don't worry about what other people eat or drink. Not my place to judge or question just like it's not anyone's place to judge or question my food choices.

HW: 306 SW: 282 CW:144.8 GW: 145 (reached 2/6/19), next goal - 132.9


on 5/25/19 5:39 am
RNY on 06/03/15

although you will be able to eat more over time, you're still not going to be able to eat like they do and maintain your weight - so in a nut shell, you will probably be dealing with this kind of scenario for the rest of your life. I agree with the above posters - bring your own food or a dish to share that you yourself are able to eat. Or just select items at the picnic that are "safe" for you to eat (if there are any) and focus on those. And no, it's not wrong to bring your own food if you need to - I've done it. I doubt anyone will say anything - and screw 'em if they do!

RNY 06/03/15 by Michael Garren (Madison, WI)

Plastic Surgery 08/10/18 and 03/29/19 by Lawrence Zachary (Chicago, IL)

HW: 373 SW: 316 GW: 145 LW: 138 CW: 150

on 5/25/19 7:02 am
RNY on 05/03/18

Just chiming in to support what has already been said. I either bring my own food, eat before, or if I'm being lazy/forget I try and find the best option available like just the burger patty (though I would've put some mayo, ketchup, and mustard on it lol) or a hotdog without the bun.

I also don't even look at what other people are eating, we aren't even playing the same game anymore, so comparing what I eat with what they eat does nothing for me. I am sympathetic that these people need to eat 3 hamburgers to feel full but aware that I only have space for 1/2 or 3/4 a patty.

Well wishes Dreamer and I'm happy to hear you have those social events, I love stuff like that!

25 years old - 5'5" tall - HW: 260 - SW: 255 - CW: 132.0

Pre Op - 5.0, M1 - 25.6, M2 - 15.6, M3 - 14.0, M4 - 13.4, M5 - 10.8, M6 - 13.8, M7 - 9.8, M8 - 7.8, M9 - 2.8, M10-2.4, M11-0, M12-7

Lower Body Lift with Dr. Carmina Cardenas - 5/3/19

on 5/25/19 12:39 pm

Since my wls I do avoid cookouts and most gatherings luckily I am busy and my hectic schedule keeps me busy So I don't have time for them and plus I'm not interested

but when I have a cookout at home I try to stick with healthy eating habits

i rarely have cookouts at my home a couple a year and it's only a few ppl

there is nothing wrong bringing food That is healthy and to a cookout


on 5/25/19 12:39 pm

Since my wls I do avoid cookouts and most gatherings luckily I am busy and my hectic schedule keeps me busy So I don't have time for them and plus I'm not interested

but when I have a cookout at home I try to stick with healthy eating habits

i rarely have cookouts at my home a couple a year and it's only a few ppl

there is nothing wrong bringing food That is healthy and to a cookout


H.A.L.A B.
on 5/26/19 6:43 am

It depends. Sometimes I go, and sometimes I skip the function. On Friday my man co-workers had barbeque get together. Initially I was planning to go, but we, in SC had a heat wave, 95+ on Friday, and I just didn't feel like getting out there. I don't drink alcohol or soda, most foods I can't eat right now (long story) and I get tired easily. Considering everything, I decided to stay longer at work to catch up on some paperwork, and Keith went without me. He had fun.

We often bring some special food to most gatherings. But not everytime. If funds are limited, I may only bring enough snacks for me. Something easy to portion. A protein bar, meat sticks, jerky, or home cooked snacks. And my drinks.

I used to be more generous than I am now. I used to bring much more food. I learned that that my "meats or eggs" were gone before all other foods like mac and cheese, pasta or potato salads, chips, etc. I learned to put the "dish to share" on the common table and make a plate for me right then. I few times I didn't, and by the time I got to get something, nothing but was left for me. I can make a really good meats...

I also almost always carry a 1-2 quick snacks in my purse. Protein bar, nut bar, etc. Just in case.

There were a few family gatherings that the person who had it told us there would be plenty for me to eat, so I don't need to worry. But once we got there, there was absolutely nothing I could safely eat. That happened on more than one occasion. So now, I don't bother, but I also stop offering to bring a dish to those gatherings. You live - you learn.

Hala. RNY 5/14/2008; Happy At Goal =HAG

"I can eat or do anything I want to - as long as I am willing to deal with the consequences"

"Failure is not falling down, It is not getting up once you fell... So pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again...."

Janet P.
on 5/28/19 7:22 am

The first couple of years I tried to make accommodations like you describe. Now I simply make due with what's available. The other thing for me is I simply don't care what people think - ha ha. If you're comfortable bringing your own food, so be it. Enjoy!

Janet in Leesburg
DS 2/25/03
Hazem Elariny

on 6/1/19 2:47 pm
VSG on 02/13/19

If you want to be social and you were invited, I don't see anything wrong with packing your meal for your special diet. If it's not specified to bring a dish I wouldn't bring anything. From your post it seems like these bbq's happen frequently and it can get quite pricey to constantly make or buy a dish for everyone and you won't even get to enjoy it.



Day of Surgery-347


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