on 7/23/19 10:44 am
VSG on 12/20/19

Hello all!

My name is Casey. I am 27 and I am in month 4 of my 6 month primary care physician monitored weight loss. I am excited for surgery. I have a history of PCOS and have been having issues my whole life with weight. I have tried weigh****chers, calorie counting, cardio and weights, personal training, adipex you name it. No luck. I would like to say I am pretty diligent with these things and have always been active. I have been the same weight for about a year now ~ 270. I tried to do a different weight loss program also with no luck and decided to finally get the sleeve. Although I am excited my partner is not. I feel like no matter how many times I explain it's not as easy as taking adipex again and going to the gym/ cutting calories. He thinks because I am having surgery I have given up. But I'm all reality I have been tracking my weight and Heath habits more than ever. Has anyone had this problem? It makes me so upset that he isn't behind me on this. He seemed angry. Any advice would be much appreciated.



White Dove
on 7/23/19 6:43 pm

Surgery only works if you follow the diet and exercise afterwards. People who lose their excess weight without surgery have a 95-97% chance of gaining it all back by the end of five years. People who have surgery have a much better shot at staying at a normal weight for life.

Most people think surgery is the easy way out. It is the easy way out at first in a lot of ways. I said it was much easier to follow my food plan when I was never hungry and when I could only eat a few bites and be full.

As time goes on, you can eat more and hunger comes back for most people. I took my husband to my appointments with my surgeon and to my support group meetings. It helped him to understand why I was having surgery.

He was amazed at how hard it was to lose weight and maintain a healthy lifestyle even after surgery. He did not realize that it meant giving up things like spaghetti and beer. He did not understand how a man could do that. LOL.

You can lose the weight again without surgery, but you almost certainly cannot keep the weight off without surgery. If you have surgery and make a lifetime commitment to keeping the weight off, you can be rewarded with a lifetime of better health.

Real life begins where your comfort zone ends

on 7/24/19 8:03 am
RNY on 05/03/18

I'm sorry your partner isn't supportive, there is a reason why "bariatric divorce" is a real thing.

I'd present the facts that WhiteDove stated above to him and invite him to your next appointment with the bariatric surgeon so he can hear it directly from a medical professional as well. If he isn't interested in going or listening to you, that's on him not you and there isn't **** you can do about it.

Again, I'm sorry and I hope your partner comes around.

25 years old - 5'5" tall - HW: 260 - SW: 255 - CW: 132.0

Pre Op - 5.0, M1 - 25.6, M2 - 15.6, M3 - 14.0, M4 - 13.4, M5 - 10.8, M6 - 13.8, M7 - 9.8, M8 - 7.8, M9 - 2.8, M10-2.4, M11-0, M12-7

Lower Body Lift with Dr. Carmina Cardenas - 5/3/19

Sparklekitty, Science-Loving Derby Hag
on 7/24/19 9:43 am
RNY on 08/05/19

My husband was sort of the same way before surgery. What finally convinced him was telling him that my DOCTORS thought this was the best thing to do for my health, and that all the medical research shows that this gives you the best odds of getting healthy and staying that way.

Bottom line: "My body, my choice." And if he can't understand that, it's on him.

Sparklekitty / Julie / Nerdy Little Secret (#42)
Roller derby - weight lifting - triathlon
VSG 2013, RNY conversion 2019 due to GERD. Trendweight here!

on 7/31/19 3:41 am, edited 7/30/19 9:02 pm
VSG on 02/13/19

He could just be afraid you will die. That is about the only reason i would let slide to be "angry" over a surgery that will make you healthier and extend your life. I know PCOS can make it hard for women to lose weight but i will admit I am not 100% knowledgeable about it. While not having PCOS.(i am a man) I have diabetes. Before I got diagnosed I was always able to lose weight pretty easily. I could pretty much follow any diet plan and always lose weight. I would always gain the weight back as well..But Losing was never an issue. After diabetes it became harder and harder to lose weight Until I got to the point where I would be dieting for a month and legit see 1 or 2 lbs lost. When before I would be able to lose 20-25lbs in a month. Very discouraging. My point is Unless your partner understands what it's like having a disease or a disorder where it actually does make it harder to lose weight..He could never understand. I like how someone else posted they took their husband to support groups and that is when they finally understood that "surgery is not the easy way out", after listening to other peoples stories.

Edited for typo.



Day of Surgery-347


on 7/31/19 7:57 am
VSG on 12/20/19

Thanks everyone for the help, advice, and encouragement I appreciate you all!!! I will definitely try and educate him more.