Lost sight of my why.......

on 10/8/19 11:39 pm
VSG on 01/27/16

I've been feeling unmotivated. I have had some regain. When I initially started this journey, I wanted to be healthier for my children. I wanted to feel comfortable in my own body. I wanted to have more energy.

Now, I feel directionless. My boyfriend has moved in and I eat and buy crap because that is what he wants. I need to find my motivation again. I have been tracking daily. I just eat crap. Ive gained 13 lbs. I need to find my why again. That will get me back on track.

Anybody feel this way after almost 4 years after surgery?

White Dove
on 10/9/19 4:29 am

The fight gets harder every year. It is easy to give up. Can you talk to your surgeon and get a recommendation for a therapist who works with weight loss patients?

The longer you wait to get help, the more regain there will be and the harder you will have to work to get back on track again.

Real life begins where your comfort zone ends

on 10/9/19 9:49 pm
VSG on 01/27/16

Yes I am going to make an appointment with my surgeon. Get myself back on track.

White Dove
on 10/10/19 7:38 am

My surgeon has a "Back on Track" group, led by a husband and wife psychologist team. The meet for sessions on eating and working on emotional issues.

Real life begins where your comfort zone ends

H.A.L.A B.
on 10/9/19 6:49 am, edited 10/9/19 8:02 am

Motivation - you no longer care how you feel about yourself? When I put on 15 extra pounds I no longer really like how my clothes look on me. They bunch up, get uncomfortable, and some no longer fit. A few times I gained app. 20-25 lbs above my goal. I got busy, and ..I didn't care. But my back started bothering me, and my joints...and suddenly ..my doc cared, and I had to care. The extra lbs made me less flexible, more tired by the end of the day.

You still have children? Do you no longer care if you are healthy enough for them ?

Why did you stop loving yourself? Is the relationship not what you thought it could be?

My BF eats some foods that I know I shouldn't. So I don't. Most of the times.

But if there is food I have a problem dealing with when the food is in the house, I don't buy it. Or if I do - I put it in his man-cave and forget about it. We are finishing a detached garage for him to work on cars. Some of snacks that I don't feel safe from - are going to be in that space. Just for him. With a very small amount at the house. Just because he cares about me and my wishes.

Some foods are my triggers. And I would find it and eat it. That food is no longer available in our house. My BF respects my wishes. He can still get "that food" times to times, and eat it somewhere else. Some food I get tempted to eat, can make me violently Ill. And he cares about me and makes sure I don't get sick.

If I don't buy some food when I shop, so it's not at home. We can't eat that. My BF is too comfortable to go and buy the junk himself. Not lazy, because if I need things from a store, and I give him a list, he would get what I want even if he has to stop by 2-3 stores. We keep snacks in the cupboards. I know the snacks are there. My BF - remembers about them when he opens the cupboards or I tell him.

BTW- one thing that attracted me to my guy that he was not a food addict. He appreciates good food, but often doesn't think of junk food as an option. He may get a small bag of chips when at lunch. Or desert after a meal when we are out. But not everytime and not just anything. We are older (I can't believe how old we are!!!) and we both need to be mindful about our diets and weights.

Even my poor cat is on a diet. If given unrestricted access to food, he gains weight very fast. He has some chronic issues that is causing him to also have GERD and gingivitis... Poor boy. But so so much love in him...

Snacks: when buying snacks - it try to concentrate on quality, so he or even I don't need to eat too much to feel like we have a treat.

Hala. RNY 5/14/2008; Happy At Goal =HAG

"I can eat or do anything I want to - as long as I am willing to deal with the consequences"

"Failure is not falling down, It is not getting up once you fell... So pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again...."

on 10/9/19 9:55 pm
VSG on 01/27/16

I've gained 13 lbs. I haven't developed aches and pains yet. I don't have that urgency to get healthy like I did before. I just need to discover my mojo again.

T Hagalicious Rebel

on 10/9/19 9:19 am - Brooklyn
VSG on 04/25/14 with

It does get harder mentally the further out we get from surgery. Everything just becomes so normal & maybe a bit boring? We don't get the excitement of losing some weight, or the thrill of fitting smaller clothes, or being in onderland, etc etc. It gets to be routine.

Maybe going to support groups in person might help. Sometimes talking it out to people in person can help remind you of the reasons of why you got surgery to begin with. Best to tackle pita mental stuff now than later.

It might sound kinda cheesy, but maybe sticking post it notes throughout the house with your own personal motivational sayings can help remind you why you went into this to begin with. Change the notes every couple of days so that you don't tune out what you wrote down.

Treating yourself is an option. Write down some goals & treat yourself to a little something after you achieve it. Reached your water goals, get a manicure. Lost 5lbs, spa day. It doesn't have to be anything expensive either, maybe get some zen time? Nice candles etc, etc.

No one surgery is better than the other, what works for one may not work for another. T-Rebel


on 10/9/19 9:50 pm
VSG on 01/27/16

I need to attend the support groups again. That may help

on 10/9/19 12:59 pm
VSG on 06/11/18

I had a thought today that might help you. I was thinking about how one of the biggest benefits of surgery for me was that I no longer feel powerless in the presence of junk food. Before WLS, if someone brought in some cookies (for example), I might be able to resist them the first few times I thought about them. But they would keep popping into my mind, and eventually I would give in. I hated that feeling of having no control over my food choices. After WLS, I feel I have a real choice.

You're farther out than I am, so you're facing bigger challenges; I understand that. But if feeling out of control bothers you as much as it did me, maybe that's extra incentive for you to take back control?

Here are some other suggestions:

Track everything you eat, but don't try to be perfect all at once. Instead, pay attention to the things that you eat most often. Is there a small improvement that you can make without feeling deprived? Make that change, and live with it for a bit (perhaps a week or two.) Then repeat the process with the next most common foods.

Pay attention to why you're eating. If you tend to eat junk when you're bored, have some fun-to-eat-but-healthy foods on hand. Suggestions are pomegranate seeds and carrot sticks. If you eat junk because you're too tired to cook, either meal prep or buy some healthy pre-prepared dishes. If you eat junk because you're stressed, consider other ways to unwind, like a hot bath or shower.

on 10/9/19 9:51 pm
VSG on 01/27/16

I need to meal prep again.