Unsure of where to begin.

AaronRyann
on 3/7/20 8:58 am

Hi to everyone who will take the time to read this, hopefully just some helpful tips to get started and honestly this is a last ditch effort to try and find the support I need to lose weight.

Im 24 years old and I've been heavy set my entire life, I've known deep down it's brought on by emotional feelings that I haven't been able to manage in the slightest. Struggling with identity ontop of a turbulent home life food was really my only comfort but anymore it's become a prison. My weight had become increasingly worse as I got older and it was when I entered highschool that the proverbial flood gates broke. I went from 450 pounds to 600 by my 20th birthday. I've felt ashamed but I couldn't just stop no matter how many times I've pleaded with myself, begged and cried out in frustration that I can't seem to fix my problem. Since then I've put on even more because I feel hopeless and honestly alone. With my weight my social life has all but evaporated and my only source of human interaction is my parents.
I'm well over 800 pounds now and bed bound and I find myself still wanting to eat because it's the only thing that I can do to "comfort" myself. I need it to stop and all I can do is just try to eat better, the resources around me are scarce to say the least, and I'm not sure how to even get past this part. I feel utterly hopeless most days because normal tasks that a person should be able to do I'm unable, and it causes strain on my parents who do everything in their power to help me. Ive Sought after help countless times in the past 2 years and unfortunately no one is able to help, some doctors won't even meet with me. I've developed 2 massive lymphatic masses on my thighs that I can't stand, turn over, I can barely sit up. Clothing is to say the least non existent from anything regarding the my waist down. I don't know what to do to get the help I know I desperately need. I've reached out as much as I can to professionals and I'm given the same answers that weight loss surgery is my only option, which again I'm not opposed to. I know I need the tools to help, but I can't get any closer to that point because as I've mentioned resources are limited for me. I'm here because I'm seeking support because I can't handle this alone and I'm looking for reaffirmation that someone else cares and sees that I'm still a person under this weight, that I actually WANT to get better and to reclaim my life. I'm sorry for the long story, I just need to be heard. Thank you to whomever has read this.

TheWombat
on 3/7/20 10:35 am
VSG on 06/11/18

You've come to the right place. Everyone on this forum has faced at least some of the challenges you've faced, so you can get lots of support and advice here. It's such a shame that you're having trouble finding clothes that fit you. Everyone has a right to clothing; it's important to your dignity. Maybe someone on here will have some advice.

How do you feel about the possibility of having weight loss surgery? Realistically, I'd say it's your only option to reach a healthy weight. However, it may be better to work on some emotional issues first. Have you talked to a psychologist who specialises in eating disorders? Even if there's no one in your area, you should be able to find one who will meet with you over Skype.

AaronRyann
on 3/7/20 10:50 am

Weight loss surgery doesn't scare me, I know that I need it and I welcome the idea. Preferably sleeve but anything could work. I can't get a psychologist to talk to because of insurance purposes, really at a loss when it comes to any help.

Partlypollyanna
on 3/7/20 1:35 pm
RNY on 02/14/18

A good bariatric program will include the psych part as well as the medical part. If your insurance covers bariatric surgery, call them and ask for a program in your area. If your policy doesn't cover it, they may still be able to give you a contacts for the area (if they have the offering in any of their insurance plans).

Getting started is the first step! It sounds like you know you can't continue as you are, and hopefully you're ready to tackle the challenge ahead of you. It won't be easy but you are worth it!

HW: 306 SW: 282 CW:144.8 GW: 145 (reached 2/6/19), next goal - 132.9

Jen

TheWombat
on 3/7/20 11:11 am
VSG on 06/11/18
Laura in Texas
on 3/8/20 4:16 am
RNY on 09/17/08 with

Has a nutritionist given you a diet plan and told you (and your parents) what/how much you should be eating? I agree that you need WLS but try to cut back on your eating until you find someone to help you.

I think you should contact Dr. Now of "My 600 Pound Life". Not too many doctors will operate on someone your size.

I hope you stick around here for support. This site has helped me a lot over the past 13 years. It keeps my head in the game and helps me to keep fighting for my health.

The mental part is the hardest. You are so young and have your whole life ahead of you. Keep fighting!!

Laura in Texas

53 years old; 5'7" tall; HW: 339 (BMI=53); GW: 140 CW: 170 (BMI=27)

RNY: 09-17-08 Dr. Garth Davis

brachioplasty: 12-18-09 Dr. Wainwright; lbl/bl: 06-28-11 Dr. LoMonaco

"May your choices reflect your hopes and not your fears."

The Salty Hag
on 3/8/20 9:31 am
RNY on 05/20/13

I hear you, I see you, and I understand you. My situation was no where near yours, but I understand.

The most immediate thing you can do to help yourself is modify your diet and track your food intake. Use a food tracker app or website like myfitnesspal or carb manager. You'll need to set up an account, but I know for sure that myfitnesspal has free memberships. I don't pay for mine. I use the app on my phone.

Track exactly what you eat-and get a baseline of how many calories, carbs, protein, and sugars you're eating in a day. That action alone could be sobering for you-seeing those numbers right in front of you might help you-and your parents if they're providing less than healthy food for you.

Next thing to do is get rid of the worst of the food choices. Soda? Sweets? Lots of carbs? Get rid of one thing first. Even switching to diet soda instead of regular soda-if you're a soda drinker-would be a good place to start. It's not the most ideal switch, but it's better than staying on normal soda. ( or if you don't drink soda, use a sugar sub like Splenda or something called Swerve in coffee, tea, or any type of drink to which you'd add sugar.. ) (and anyone reading this-don't ***** at me for suggesting Splenda-it's a better choice than sugar!! If you can come up with a better solution, please do so. My main goal in suggesting it is to make this as painless and as easy as possible for the OP to start things off.)

Then cut out another bad food choice. If you love pizza, ask your parents to bring you the toppings only-no crust. If you're a hamburger eater-ask them to remove the bun and skip the fries. ( if you need a side dish-plain pork rinds or cracklin's are a better choice than chips or fries. ) Getting rid of the white carb foods like bread, pasta, rice, potatoes, and getting sugar out of your system will help at you at least a little bit. Keep removing carbs and sugar from your diet, and replace with meat and low carb veggies. Any battered/breaded foods will need to be avoided.

Keep logging and tracking your food intake as you reduce the amount of carbs and sugar that you eat.

If your parents or whoever provide your food for you are willing to help you change your eating habits, that's going to be of monumental help for you and will make things SO MUCH EASIER for you. If they aren't, it may be more difficult for you to do this, but it's imperative that you get them onboard with this. The weight loss surgery talk can come later, but reducing carbs and sugar in your diet should help you start dropping some weight. Reducing calories and portion sizes can be worked in as you go. Your goal should be to be on a low carb diet for the rest of your life-having had weight loss surgery or not. I basically eat meat, cheese, yogurt with no added sugars, and some low carb veggies. I also eat pork cracklin's as part of my diet on the regular. A normal meal for me is often just meat! Like chicken-with a small side of more chicken. (I also bake sweets for myself with low carb/keto ingredients, but that's an "in the future" thing for people just starting out with a low carb or ketogenic diet.)

You'll need some professional guidance with this more than likely, especially long term, but if any nutritionist or dietician tells you that whole grains and fruits are important and to go low fat-kick their asses to the curb. Fruits are nothing but sugar and whole grains are still carbs we don't need.

Counseling will be needed to help you and your parents work through the "why" of your eating for comfort.

Laura has a great idea-Dr. Now may be able to help you. He can be kind of gruff, but it comes from a place of caring. He's helped many people in your situation.

I know you said resources are limited for you, but even doing the things I suggested at the start of my post can be done within the resources you do have.

This will be hard on you mentally, and I know it sounds scary and overwhelming, but it's worth it...and you're worth it. You are worth the effort.

I woke up in between a memory and a dream...

Tom Petty

Laura in Texas
on 3/8/20 1:56 pm
RNY on 09/17/08 with

Such good advice!!

Laura in Texas

53 years old; 5'7" tall; HW: 339 (BMI=53); GW: 140 CW: 170 (BMI=27)

RNY: 09-17-08 Dr. Garth Davis

brachioplasty: 12-18-09 Dr. Wainwright; lbl/bl: 06-28-11 Dr. LoMonaco

"May your choices reflect your hopes and not your fears."

The Salty Hag
on 3/8/20 9:44 am
RNY on 05/20/13

I hit "post reply" before I was ready, but I wanted to wish you luck, success, and tell you that you're awesome for wanting/asking for help and support get your life back on track.

It will be a process, but you can do this.

I woke up in between a memory and a dream...

Tom Petty

H.A.L.A B.
on 3/9/20 9:12 am

Laura mentioned Dr Nowzaradan in Huston Texas, and his program.

There are other doctors in USA that are doing weight loss surgery on larger people. i.e. Dr. Procter in Atlanta Ga

The series, my 600 pound life. If you not familiar with that program, google it and watch on YouTube. Or watch episodes about the 1000lbs sisters.

Unfortunately, any doc like that would not operate on you unless you show them you can change your diet and approach to food. Dr Now, and other doctors like that, would require that you lose weight, significant amount of weight before they would operate.

Surgery is just a tool. It often does not make the cravings to go away, or not wanting something yummy because I had a bad day.

Way too many people gain some weight back, and there are some that can gain all the weigh they lost.

Eating just an extra 100 cal per day, every day may result in gaining 10 lbs over one year. 100 calories is a small apple, or few extra slices of cold cuts or small handful of nuts.

Just that small amount over what our body needs can result in 30 lbs gain over 3 years and... 100 lbs over 10 years.

I am close t0 12 years post op. 11 years after I reached my goal.

Maintaining my weight is probably harder for me that losing, or gaining. I know what to do to lose weight, and I definitely know what I need to do to gain.

Hala. RNY 5/14/2008; Happy At Goal =HAG

"I can eat or do anything I want to - as long as I am willing to deal with the consequences"

"Failure is not falling down, It is not getting up once you fell... So pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again...."

×