Starting to have second thoughts!

LeonaCR
on 8/12/20 11:39 am

I am starting to have second thoughts as to whether surgery is right for me. It is such a big change to undergo. I am reading your posts and the articles on here and I know there is a lot of support and information. I am nervous about changing my body so drastically but then again, I did that by gaining weight over the years. It's making me anxious and I tend to over worry about things! I have not seen a surgeon yet but I think I found one that I would like to consult with. I just can't seem to bring myself to start the process. Has anyone else felt this way?

White Dove
on 8/12/20 2:54 pm

It is a life-changing decision and you would be crazy if you did not have second thoughts. Learn as much as you can and don't do anything until you are sure you want to make this type of decision.

Real life begins where your comfort zone ends

TheWombat
on 8/12/20 3:59 pm
VSG on 06/11/18

I had second thought right up until they put me under! But I am so glad I went through with it. I now have a normal BMI, and so much more energy. Making an appointment with a surgeon doesn't mean you're committing to anything. It's just the first step. If anything, the fact that you're having second thoughts is a good sign that you are thinking seriously about the changes you will need to make, and how your life will be affected.

Like you, I was worried about changing my body so drastically. I think part of the problem is that even though I was having WLS to improve my health, part of me thought of it as a cosmetic procedure rather than a medical treatment. Compare that with when I needed to have my gall bladder removed (decades earlier). Naturally I was a little nervous about it, but I didn't have second thoughts. I knew the surgery wasn't a luxury, would fix a medical problem. But WLS fixes a medical problem too!

After surgery, I learned that in order to lose weight, I need to stay under about 800 calories per day. No way I could stick to a diet that restrictive for any length of time without the help of WLS. When I realised that, I stopped blaming myself for becoming obese. I'm not denying my personal responsibility for all the weight I gained; I did make a lot of poor food choices. But I tried so hard to lose weight for so many years, with so little success, that I finally gave up. I still have to put in the effort, but now my body co-operates with me instead of fighting me every step of the way.

I'm not trying to talk you into having the surgery, though. Maybe you're not ready. WLS is pretty much a once-in-a-lifetime chance to lose a large amount of weight. There are a few exceptions: some people have second surgeries, but the results are usually far less dramatic.

Tat911
on 8/30/20 11:44 am

Thank you for your thoughts. Exactly what I needed! I as well having second thoughts. Close to getting my surgery date. And your words put it all into perspective for me. For all the right and postive reasons for WLS. Lately I was focusing on all the ways that gave for not going through. I feel so much better. Thank you for opening my eyes, heart and mind! God bless.

SuMari
on 8/13/20 10:21 am

I think I have contemplated every single day of this process and I think it's all normal. I am somewhat in the same boat you are, with the exception that I think I'm closer to the medical weight loss/WLS process as required by my insurance and I think that with every major life change we start to doubt ourselves. I am a firm believer that things happen for a reason. At elast you are here learning everything you can and you will make the best decision for you

Tri_harder
on 8/13/20 12:21 pm

Check out your surgeon carefully. I went to a great general surgeon with next to no bariatric experience. It was a disaster. If I had gone to a support group meeting before surgery, I would have walked out the door. I went to a meeting after my surgery. One patient had a tube coming out of her stomach. A couple patients could barely drink. A couple didn't lose weight. Some people praised him after revisions. Please check out his patients before you have surgery. Tri

Dee_Caprini
on 8/13/20 3:38 pm

You will read many horror stories online but quite honestly a vast majority of us who've undergone bariatric surgery would go through this all over again if given the opportunity. Most of us have had a great deal of issues or comorbidities prior to surgery and most of those issues are next to gone once we reach our optimum weight. Nothing about the bariatric lifestyle is easy and every step of this journey will be a difficult one.

I'm not saying that you haven't but do as much research as you can. Putting in the legwork now will help you later on down the road. You are here asking questions which I applaud you for. If this lifestyle was easy everyone would do it.

Want2beMe
on 8/16/20 12:31 pm
VSG on 08/17/20

I was going to go through the process almost a year prior but got cold feet. Then with time I realized its the right choice for me. I took that year to research the process and gain knowledge of the big picture. Commitment to make changes and follow through with appointments has led me to my vsg surgery tomorrow.

LeonaCR
on 8/20/20 10:45 am

I hope your surgery went well!

PuggleDad
on 8/18/20 12:12 pm

From a psychological standpoint, it's a pretty interesting thing to do. You're making a choice that you absolutely know will drastically change your body. Of course there are going to be fears and doubts. It would be more concerning if you went into this overconfident, not taking it seriously. It's a serious thing to do. You have to decide if you want to take a chance on yourself, to have a better life. There are risks involved, but serious complications are rare. I haven't met anyone *****grets the surgery. I've met so many people that say "best decision I've ever made".

I could list a million ways my life is better. Do you want to know what I miss? Just being able to eat multiple things. I don't even miss binging or soda, really. I just sometimes want to try a little bit of everything and I have to stick to one or two things (10 months post-surgery here)

That's literally my only complaint other than loose skin, and I look a MILLION times better with my loose skin than I did with all that excess fat. My results have been better than average but honestly, my life was a dead end before this and I have more hope/happiness in my life than I ever have before.

It's a choice only you can make, but starting the process doesn't lock you into the surgery. You can always start the process and decide it isn't for you. Don't think of that first meeting as a decision to get the surgery, think of it as an information session. The more information you have, the more likely you're going to make the right choice for you.

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