Dating: Do you share that you have had Weight Loss Surgery?

on 8/31/20 12:05 pm

Having weight loss surgery was a very personal decision for me. I didn't want to tell anyone at all about the fact that I was considering surgery. And I didn't share with even my closest of friends when I was going through the process. Now, I am back out in the dating world again. (I am not sure I even know how to act on a date anymore!) And I don't know if I should share my weight loss journey or not? Maybe I will know when the time comes?

on 8/31/20 12:13 pm

My weight loss is not a subject I bring up but I am an open book. What you see is what you get! All of me ...loose skin and scars.

on 8/31/20 12:29 pm
RNY on 01/21/19

I don't let too many people into my circle. My weight loss journey is my business and I don't feel the need to broadcast it but if there right person comes along, I will share my heart.

White Dove
on 8/31/20 1:54 pm

It depends on a lot of things. Are you early out and will get sick if you eat an extra bite? Do you have a lot of loose skin and having sex with the person for the first time? If you introduce your date to your friends and family, will they tell on you?

It is not something to bring up unless you are at a point where you feel the need to discuss it. If your date had a root canal, wisdom teeth removed, or gall bladder problem, do you want to discuss that on your first date?

The other thing to consider is when you share your weight loss, they will wonder if you are going to gain it all back. There is one person on here who says he never told his wife. So you can make it as personal as you want.

Real life begins where your comfort zone ends

on 8/31/20 3:19 pm

I didn't tell many people about my decision to have surgery. Only my immediate family knew and s few friends. Now everyone knows because I told them on my time and asked that those I'd shared with respect me by my wishes not to be a topic of discussion. Most had questions about it and were respectful. There were a few people I had to pull aside and remind them of what I had asked and if they didn't respect me enough, I chose not to include them in further conversations. When it came to dating, I had let my "suitors" know when I felt comfortable. It wasn't long after dating my (now) husband that I told him. I felt comfortable.

on 8/31/20 7:23 pm

I still haven't told my wife and I had the surgery 6 years ago. Need to know basis only.

on 9/1/20 10:29 am

I have only mentioned that I am part of a program so far (sorry, not dating specific since I am taken and he wants what's best for me) but as far as general relationship go, I don't know who I will tell once I actually HAVE surgery. I gather it won't be something I shout from the roof tops since it's a pretty personal decision.

on 9/2/20 7:12 am, edited 9/2/20 12:13 am

This doesn't apply to me yet but I think I would tell my date if I thought the relationship was going to go anywhere. My longtime boyfriend and I are no more. He was not supportive and we parted ways.

on 9/4/20 9:39 am

I do the open book thing myself. It's not something that's easy to hide at this point, I'm not quite 11 months out so it's going to come up the first time I have a meal with someone. The loose skin is also going to be something that's unavoidable for the moment so I figure it's good to just get it out of the way and tell them early.

I'm proud of the decision I made, I don't care what some people think about it. I'm happier than I've ever been and I won't apologize for it.