Has anyone ever joined Over Eaters Anonymous or another similar-type group?

Dee_Caprini
on 9/8/20 10:26 am

HI all, just curious if anyone has joined something like Over Eaters Anonymous and if it worked or is it the same as joining a support group? I attend some regular meetings (now online) but wanted to know if anyone sees a difference between the two or if you have any other ways to stay accountable?

Want2beMe
on 9/8/20 10:41 am
VSG on 08/17/20

I've been with TOPS (take off pounds sensibly) almost 2 years and its been great. Every week you weigh in and theres chances to win money. The membership fee is i think $32 a year. We discuss healthy eating habits, share recipes, exercise briefly for 10mins or so, and motivate each other to Take Off the Pounds.

Melody P.
on 9/8/20 1:17 pm - TX

Over eaters anonymous wasn't my cup of tea. I had a hard time finding a sponsor and I didn't like the religious stuff of the group I found. Not saying it's bad per say...just wasn't my thing. I have severe social anxiety so I've been afraid to do TOPS. I've heard good things though.

39 F and 6 foot 1 inches

VSG - 3-14-18 - - - Revision to RNY - 5-29-19

I can?t control everything but I can control what I put in my body.

Tekish
on 9/16/20 2:33 pm
On September 8, 2020 at 5:26 PM Pacific Time, Dee_Caprini wrote:

HI all, just curious if anyone has joined something like Over Eaters Anonymous and if it worked or is it the same as joining a support group? I attend some regular meetings (now online) but wanted to know if anyone sees a difference between the two or if you have any other ways to stay accountable?

I did OA for about 6 months years before I had WLS. It's a 12 step thing, and being an atheist I had foundational issues with it. Basically, you admit you are powerless and dog will look out for you. We are weak, sinful people that only dog and faith can fix. I disagreed but I was fulfilling a promise.

At my 6 month mark, driving from L.A. to S.F. for a business trip, I just missed a head on collision by chance. 4 people were killed, 1 was the drunk driver on the wrong side of the road.

The OA folks kept congratulating me on dog looking out for me. It was disgusting. And it nearly destroyed me.

I have since done research on 12 step programs, and there really is no evidence they do any better than people quitting whatever on their own. They are a religious organization that hasn't changed since 1935 when it was created.

There are Science-based programs that have documented evidence that they work, that change approaches based on scientific evidence.

Tek

Dee_Caprini
on 9/16/20 3:20 pm

Thank you for this. I appreciate you sharing your personal experience and respect that it wasn't for you. Do you have the names of the science based programs to look out for?

Tekish
on 9/16/20 6:05 pm
On September 16, 2020 at 10:20 PM Pacific Time, Dee_Caprini wrote:

Thank you for this. I appreciate you sharing your personal experience and respect that it wasn't for you. Do you have the names of the science based programs to look out for?

Unfortunately the world has moved on since I did my research 19 or more years ago. I have had no need for such diversions since my surgery.

I should think a few short searches would give you plenty of information on local groups. 12 step groups usually identify as such, but be careful and do your research.

Tek

Dee_Caprini
on 9/17/20 3:23 pm

Thank you anyway! Figured I would ask so if I saw something (that you may have mentioned) I could look more or steer clear.

I will definitely be looking out for some groups, I just didn't know of any others outside my support group and OA.

Tekish
on 9/17/20 3:41 pm
On September 17, 2020 at 10:23 PM Pacific Time, Dee_Caprini wrote:

Thank you anyway! Figured I would ask so if I saw something (that you may have mentioned) I could look more or steer clear.

I will definitely be looking out for some groups, I just didn't know of any others outside my support group and OA.

Hah! I saw both versions of your post.

How DARE you say what you said in the first version. I'm beyond offended!

:)

I hope you find what you need.

Tek

mattofri
on 9/17/20 8:28 am
RNY on 09/02/20

Hi, My experience with 12-step work is different than some others who have responded to you. One thing to know is that OA is a fairly loosely affiliated organization, meaning that each meeting / group will have its own personality and culture. An OA group (or any "A" group) will have created a group conscience which outlines what that group is focused on and how it will operate. I've been to a few and not all were my cup of tea, but I currently attend a group that follows the format of an AA Big Book Step Study Group. It's a weekly meeting that works through the 12 steps over a 15-week cycle and repeats over and over again. In the meeting you review a step, have a guest speaker, and hear personal experiences from others in the group. It's a support group with a specific focus.

Having been in other 12-step groups (Alcohol), I find the experience helpful. I know some get turned off by the "god thing" and I stayed away for a long time when I was younger because I'd rejected organized religion and still do. But I finally stayed and listened long enough to learn that you don't have to believe in someone else's god to participate effectively. The wisdom is that you don't have to believe in my god, just have to believe that you are not god. It's a matter of moving from "I am all powerful and my will is enough to get me out of my predicament" to "I need to accept that there are forces greater than me in the world and I can surrender and be part of something bigger." It works for some and not others, but it's worked for me. Since I'm not a bible banger, I just ignore the overly god-heavy talk of some members and focus on the message that will help me stay focused on my eating and living plan.

One of the keys to success is helping others. You deal with the underlying issues causing you to overeat and then you help others in any way you can do the same. By giving it away you get the support you need.

For those who say the 12 step methodology doesn't achieve greater success than going it alone have not researched very deeply. A lot of the "scientific methods" used draw on the 12 step methodology. I don't have any problem with other methods ; I don't need to fight over that; it works for me and that's what matters.

Last thought - focus on motivation. You will never be asked to pay to be part of OA. The motivation is not profit. In fact, any money the group takes in through collections at meetings and other donations is given away to recovery support work 100%. It is entirely a volunteer run and supported effort so you never have to wonder if the thing is being run so someone can make money.

If you decide to look into it, best advice I can give is to attend multiple meetings (if there are multiple options where you live) so you get a sense of different groups' cultures. If one is too god-focused, another won't be. Like any groups in life I guess. Good luck!

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