How much to share about wife's surgery last Feb?

Have you asked her how she feels? I think I am going to be selective on who I tell because then it's on my terms- Maybe your wife feels the same?

Ask her who she has told so that you respect her if people start askin' questions or fishing for information and you can feel less ackward? or ask her how she'd like you to respond.

I've only told my immediate family and my grandparents, in-laws and starting there... anyone else, I will inform that I have made strict diet changes (which will be true), working with a nutritionist (will also be true) and doing small things to move every day (which will ALSO be true).

Who knows if this will change after surgery.

Thanks, SuMari. I'll start with asking her how she wants me to respond, letting her know that some people have asked and it would help to know who she has told about it so I don't make a mess of things. Good luck with your surgery. It has sure helped my wife so far!

This is something you need to discuss with your wife. When people see a big weight loss, they do think it is something like cancer or AIDs. I told people it was weight loss surgery. Your wife might want to keep the surgery a secret and that is her choice, but make sure you know her wishes and how she wants you to handle questions.

I am going to have to straight up ask her, I'm realizing. I hope she feels like she can tell her friends and the families so she's not stressed wondering who she has told and who she has not (me too), but I'll go along with whatever she wants to do. You guys are all so supportive and great, and I'm not even the one who had surgery! Appreciated for sure.

We live in society that it is ok to ask about weight when someone is losing weight.

It is time to tell people to mind their own business.

To be politically correct , you can tell them that she went to a doctor and the doc is helping her getting more healthy. if they ask for details, I would tell them that weight is such a personal topic and you find your wife pretty and sexy at any weight, and change the subject. Eventually the fat he had surgery became known and if you tell that she just eats healthy and exercise - you will be dishonest. Things like that doesn't work that well.

H.A.L.A B., I know they ask because they care, but to me, a weight question is always kinda sensitive, so I'm hoping they'll stop asking at some point. I think the politically correct line is very fitting, thank you!

So, would these same people feel okay about asking you "why did your wife get fat?" I'm guessing no.

I am a huge fan of being an adult with boundaries, and letting people know when a question that they ask, or a statement that they make is pushing a personal boundary. This is your wife's health information, and she doesn't owe ANYONE an explanation. Neither do you.

Wow, I hadn't thought of it that way, and you're right. I feel like adults should have more sense than they sometimes seem to, with regard to asking personal questions. It seems like sometimes the closer people think they are, the more into your business they think they have rights to. Well-meaning or not, they need to use some sense. I'm feeling so much more informed after asking about this, thanks.

This is a perfect analogy!

As a gentleman I have to agree with others.

I know that sharing my wife's private information without her explicit approval would be the fast path to pain for both her and eventually, me. Thanks, but no thanks.

Your relationship may be different.

Tek