How much to share about wife's surgery last Feb?

MadsHunt
on 9/16/20 2:15 pm

Tekish, I don't think my relationship is so different from yours and I appreciate your input. I've done ok so far but with the questions starting to come, I decided I needed help and I really did find some great advice I think. No doghouse for me and no hurt feelings for my dear wife. She's working so hard to live by the healthy rules and that's important to me. It's also helping me!

MadsHunter

Tekish
on 9/16/20 3:06 pm
On September 16, 2020 at 9:15 PM Pacific Time, MadsHunt wrote:

Tekish, I don't think my relationship is so different from yours and I appreciate your input. I've done ok so far but with the questions starting to come, I decided I needed help and I really did find some great advice I think. No doghouse for me and no hurt feelings for my dear wife. She's working so hard to live by the healthy rules and that's important to me. It's also helping me!

Glad to hear it.

If someone asked me out of the blue about my wife I would probably play dumb. I'm pretty good at it. ;)

Depending on who it is, I might outright mess with them, just to see what I could get them to believe. Alien abduction is always fun.

I don't get out much.

Citizen Kim
on 9/15/20 4:48 pm - Castle Rock, CO

"Thanks for asking. She looks great, doesn't she? I'm so proud of her"

*Changes subject*

Proud Feminist, Atheist, LGBT friend, and Democratic Socialist

MadsHunt
on 9/16/20 2:17 pm

Oh dang, this is now my response, very good! Thanks, Citizen Kim, it's awesome. I feel lame for not coming up with this myself! And yes, subject change..

MadsHunter

SuMari
on 9/17/20 10:18 am

Good info to share with my hubs too!!! This is a wonderful suggestion!

Sheila_H
on 9/15/20 7:21 pm - Central Coast, CA
RNY on 06/26/17

For the sake of your marriage keep your mouth shut. I would be so pissed at my husband if he told anybody I didn't feel comfortable with. You have great advice here about how to get out of the situation. Do not, under any cir****tance, feel that it's YOUR place to divulge HER information.

SW:261 6/26/17 GW:150 10/6/18

CW: 151

PGW: 140-142

Jmm4321
on 9/16/20 4:02 pm

I can't believe you even asked this question.

ladygodiva1228
on 9/17/20 4:38 am - Putnam, CT
Revision on 02/04/15
On September 16, 2020 at 11:02 PM Pacific Time, Jmm4321 wrote:

I can't believe you even asked this question.

Why? I would rather him of asked the question than just tell people why his wife is losing weight.

That's right though you never told your wife that you had surgery. Makes one wonder what else you hide from her. If you can't trust your spouse to tell you something how much true trust is there in a marriage.

Dr. Sanchez Lapband 9/12/2003
hw305/revision w280/cw197/gw150

Revision from Lap Band to Bypass on 2/4/2015 by Dr. Pohl

    

Jmm4321
on 9/17/20 8:00 pm

No one has a right to discuss other people's medical decisions including a spouse. Some people can't keep information private. Many people including spouses don't accept or understand the decision for weight loss surgery. They are not entitled to make that decision or discuss it with others. Although it doesn't happen often, sometimes it is just about me and my life decision.

Not sure what your reference about being dishonest is about. That's from within you and your experiences.

ladygodiva1228
on 9/18/20 1:36 am - Putnam, CT
Revision on 02/04/15
On September 18, 2020 at 3:00 AM Pacific Time, Jmm4321 wrote:

No one has a right to discuss other people's medical decisions including a spouse. Some people can't keep information private. Many people including spouses don't accept or understand the decision for weight loss surgery. They are not entitled to make that decision or discuss it with others. Although it doesn't happen often, sometimes it is just about me and my life decision.

Not sure what your reference about being dishonest is about. That's from within you and your experiences.

It is obvious you don't trust your wife.

My husband has been nothing but supportive with my WLS. We spoke before hand about who I wanted to know and who I didn't. When people asked him about my weight loss that he knew I didn't want to know he would just say that I was working on getting fit and healthy and then changed the subject. They never asked again.

Sorry but spouses should know about each others health. Whether it is a surgery or medication change or what ever. Should you have some sort of medical emergency and are unable to communicate with paramedics your spouse is able to let them know what type of surgeries you have had and if you take any meds or are allergic to anything.

Dr. Sanchez Lapband 9/12/2003
hw305/revision w280/cw197/gw150

Revision from Lap Band to Bypass on 2/4/2015 by Dr. Pohl

    

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