Surgery date set, how did you calm your nerves?

KimmyJJ
on 9/18/20 3:27 pm

The big thing I've waited for, a surgery date in mid-October, and now I have the biggest case of nerves you can imagine. Did anyone else have this happen? My stomach is literally doing flip flops and I can't concentrate. I can't take 3.5 weeks of this! Help!

KimmyJJ

Tekish
on 9/18/20 3:34 pm
On September 18, 2020 at 10:27 PM Pacific Time, KimmyJJ wrote:

The big thing I've waited for, a surgery date in mid-October, and now I have the biggest case of nerves you can imagine. Did anyone else have this happen? My stomach is literally doing flip flops and I can't concentrate. I can't take 3.5 weeks of this! Help!

You have no choice but deal with it.

Oh Oh, I got one: Distractions. Whatever floats your boat.

Here's gonna be a controversial one: Meals and foods you won't be able to get near post op. Ooooooh!

Good luck.

Tek

White Dove
on 9/19/20 5:30 am

The complete list of foods that I can never eat again is _______________.

If I wanted to, I could have my favorite pre-op meal of a large salad with 1000 island dressing, a serving of lasagna from my favorite Italian restaurant, fre****alian bread with real butter, and death by chocolate cake for dessert. I could wa**** all down with real Coco Cola.

Just because I can do that does not mean that I should do that, I am perfectly happy with my salad with fat-free dressing, my zucchini lasagna, and a Weigh****cher dessert. The Diet Coke waits until 30 minutes after the meal.

The difference is that I don't have to find a booth where I can fit and I am very full on a very small serving. I am one of the lucky people who never experience hunger again after surgery. Telling yourself that you can't eat certain foods after surgery might work on a physiological level, but for most people you body learns to tolerate anything.

There was a contestant on the Biggest Loser who had had RNY and gained back up to over 700 pounds. They showed him at a eating place finishing off a large pizza and a huge sub sandwich. The doctor on the show said that the contestant's pouch as still intact and not stretched out.

We all will test the limits at some point and we all have to figure out what to eat to maintain the weight loss long term.

Real life begins where your comfort zone ends

Tekish
on 9/19/20 6:51 am
On September 19, 2020 at 12:30 PM Pacific Time, White Dove wrote:

The complete list of foods that I can never eat again is _______________.

If I wanted to, I could have my favorite pre-op meal of a large salad with 1000 island dressing, a serving of lasagna from my favorite Italian restaurant, fre****alian bread with real butter, and death by chocolate cake for dessert. I could wa**** all down with real Coco Cola.

Just because I can do that does not mean that I should do that, I am perfectly happy with my salad with fat-free dressing, my zucchini lasagna, and a Weigh****cher dessert. The Diet Coke waits until 30 minutes after the meal.

The difference is that I don't have to find a booth where I can fit and I am very full on a very small serving. I am one of the lucky people who never experience hunger again after surgery. Telling yourself that you can't eat certain foods after surgery might work on a physiological level, but for most people you body learns to tolerate anything.

There was a contestant on the Biggest Loser who had had RNY and gained back up to over 700 pounds. They showed him at a eating place finishing off a large pizza and a huge sub sandwich. The doctor on the show said that the contestant's pouch as still intact and not stretched out.

We all will test the limits at some point and we all have to figure out what to eat to maintain the weight loss long term.

Hi, again. I'm not sure if you intended to reply to me, but my post was about lighthearted but serious options PRE-OP. Not that I disagree with anything you posted. Though, being weird, I have different takes.

I did have one of my favorite meals (Prime Rib, loaded baked potato, sautee'd mushrooms, wine, good conversation). I did distract with MMORPG games with my wife for hours upon hours.

I also thought and wrote a lot about my upcoming RNY.

That was pre-op,

POST-OP is a different kettle of fish. I'm going to be in wordy, violent agreement with you:

I still thought and wrote a lot about my RNY. I posted a lot here at OH. I posted a lot at my own message board after that.

I don't think I need to go into detail saying things like "follow my plan", "tested surgery", "dumping, again and again", "testing surgery, ouch", "kill the scale" again.

At about 3 months post op, I went to the same restaurant I did pre-op. It was my first time eating out. I ordered child's prime rib, ate about 2oz of it, grabbed a spoon of potato off my wifes' plate. No mushrooms. No wine. Good conversation. I was tense and it didn't go well.

Eating out, especially with other people, is a problem for me, even now. I don't focus well enough on what I'm eating, I get tense because of so many previous mechanical mistakes while eating out, and I screw up mechanically again. So, I don't eat in restaurants much at all now.

I have over the years often eaten my same favorite foods. The standard versions. But I always stayed close to my normal portion size (if not less), which is staying on plan for my plan. I left a lot of good food on the plate.

I have tremendous empathy for folks that returned to bad habits and defeated their surgery. It's heart-breaking. Any of us could have done the same thing. It's scary. And it's amazingly easy to do if negative feedback doesn't change your habits. But our pre-op lives don't necessarily have to rule us post-op.

So yes (again), we need to develop plans to stay on plan. We need to allow reality and experience to adjust our plans to stay on plan. And when we do something off plan, whether it works out ok or not, we need to get back to plan.

Pre-op I was a binge eater. I no longer have the urge. I'm not sure when the urge ended. I checked my journal (since I have no memory) and there is no mention of it. I did overeat a few times and paid the price each time. Perhaps that was it.

For me, feeling deprived is not sustainable. Doing things I hate :cough: exercise :cough: is not sustainable.

Feeling good is sustainable. Activity I enjoy is sustainable. Living a life of moderation, love, and joy is sustainable. And my eating plan, which I no longer have to think about because it's the way I think now, is sustainable.

And all the same things like booths, chairs, airline seats, turnstiles, rides, kids, adults, being out, that I used to fear no longer have power over me. Well, not much. This sure is some positive reinforcement to stay on plan.

And, as I've said before, doing things I never even imagined is indescribable. No words. Me? Go figure.

Good luck,

Tek

KimmyJJ
on 9/21/20 12:58 pm

For now, work is a distraction, so I'll go with that and fill my evenings with small projects that I have around the house. I wanted to create a recipe book for myself at certain stages, but that might be assuming a lot since I don't know for sure what will taste good to me I guess.

I'm taking this as you having a sense of humor, and that's a nice thing. Controversy can be a good thing, right?

KimmyJJ

Want2beMe
on 9/18/20 5:23 pm
VSG on 08/17/20

I was a nervous wreck thinking about what it will be like after surgery. Would I fail or have trouble with eating healthy. For surgey, I was more nervous/scared about being alone in the hospital, but all went well. Try to do some positive affirmations and take one day at a time.

White Dove
on 9/19/20 5:18 am

I went to the mall and looked at clothing in very tiny sizes. My husband thought I was being over confident. It was fall and I planned a new spring wardrobe.

I also went over my will, durable power of attorney, and living will. Because it was possible that something could go wrong during surgery. I was calmer with knowing everything was in order no matter what happened.

My surgery was scheduled for early December. My "Last Supper" was planned by my family for Thanksgiving. They were going to make sure I ate everything that I would never be able to eat again. Then there would be two weeks of liquid diet before surgery.

I was in the process of making my funeral arrangements when I got a call from the surgeon's office. There was an opening for October 15, less than a week away. I went on the liquid diet that day, went to the hospital for pre-admission work, set up sick leave at work, and scheduled a appointment with my family doctor for a final clearance.

It was a busy week. When I woke up from surgery, I wondered what it would feel like to have a tiny stomach and my intestines rearranged. It did not feel like anything. I never knew where my intestines were before and it does not feel any different.

I knew I had surgery because there were incisions on my stomach. I was tired and uncomfortable for a few days, but ended up going back to work the next week. I did buy those size 4 outfits for the spring. But by fall, they were too big for me and I had to buy size zero for fall and winter.

It is normal to be nervous. Use that nervous energy to be prepared for the rest of your life. Things are so much better now. This is a life-altering event and life afterwards can be awesome.

Real life begins where your comfort zone ends

KimmyJJ
on 9/21/20 1:07 pm

White Dove, what a nice post. I myself have also made sure everything was tied up nicely should something go wrong..that is something I always have done no matter the surgery, or just everyday life and driving freeways. I don't anticipate anything bad, but don't want to leave things undone in any situation.

With all of the interruptions in surgeries during Covid, I think everything will remain on schedule. Shopping for clothing is not on the agenda, but I'm glad you shared that, it's encouraging!

KimmyJJ

Partlypollyanna
on 9/19/20 8:03 am
RNY on 02/14/18

I wasn't nervous outside of dreading coming out of the anesthesia - it's always rough on me but I told the anesthesiologist what happened in the previous times with the nausea and headaches and they were able to control for that.

I had done my six months preop work, put in place the arrangements in case something went wrong (living will, regular will, power of attorney) and knew it was the right thing so I wasn't anxious.

I also didn't have any of the buyers remorse people talk about a few weeks/months in because I was 100% that this was the time I needed.

HW: 306 SW: 282 CW:144.8 GW: 145 (reached 2/6/19), next goal - 132.9

Jen

KimmyJJ
on 9/21/20 1:28 pm

Partlypollyanna, no buyers remorse here. When my pcp had his talk with me and said well it's time for you to look into WLS to save your life, I decided that there was no chance I was going to back out, and he's known me so long, I don't think he would let me if he could help it. I have confidence in the medical team; it's not that, it's just nerves. I get that sometimes. Maybe I just have too much time to think about it!

Everything that you all tell me does help!

KimmyJJ

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