Boyfriend fighting me on learning about weight loss surgery

Hey, my brother has a Puggle! Cute little pal of his!

I'm sure this was not easy to share since you personally lived this part of the surgery journey, and I appreciate it. This is helpful. Maybe since he is 6'1" and a tad over 300 lbs, we can lose some of this weight together while I'm still researching so he doesn't feel threatened. I've seen some great looking recipes on this website. I would want him to be healthier too, even if he didn't have surgery (which has never been discussed of course). As long as I am careful with how I suggest losing weight to him.

Boy, I wish I had studied the psychology of weight loss surgery in school, but who knew!

Yes puggles are the very best :) I call mine my soulmate.

The main thing is communication, and honestly he may not even know why he is reacting the way he is. People get triggered by the seemingly most random things, but that doesn't mean they know why. Many of us bury things, and most of us are pretty bad at taking a good, honest look at ourselves.

And as for the psychology of weight loss surgery, I am right there with you. I went back to school recently and am actually 6 classes away from my B.A. in psychology and wouldn't mind somehow combining that with some kind of master's in health/fitness. I would love to make this passion of mine into a career and help others on their journey to feeling as much improvement mentally and physically as I have.

It sounds like you have it all together with your future plans on a career! With your personal experience and the education, I'm sure you'll be great at helping people. Congrats on being so close to your BA in psychology! That and bariatric fitness would be a great combo it seems like.

We have a couple of days off planned together in about 3 weeks, so I plan to read up a lot and be able to share with him the reasons why this could be good for my health.

Thanks much for some great insight!

You and I are on a similar path, though I am single now, our stats are pretty much the same. I hope he would encourage you as I feel that, like you, it's good for you and your health. Maybe he is insecure about you leaving if you "get skinny"?

The truth is if you're gonna leave you're gonna leave ... a lot of pre WLS relationships were very conditional; eating buddies or "take care of me" somehow in exchange for something you may not want to keep giving, like free housework or consenting not-so-great sex with someone you're settling for and not really attracted to.

Yes EVERYTHING changes post op- particularly if you're young.

You're suddenly MUCH more attractive ( at least with clothes on) .

Your ego and self esteem are like that of a pre-teen-it feels incredibly Exciting AND Dangerous to get this sudden surge of attention from the opposite sex.

On the other hand you're incredibly insecure because of the sagging skin... which in its own way is helpful- people tend to stay put in relationships or be slow and cautious starting new ones .

In my opinion there's no relationship in the world that makes it worth holding yourself back.

If someone requests ( even ever so politely ) that you do- its really time to take a long hard look at their motivations and whether they really love you ( or just enjoy what you're doing for them)

Veggiewoman, this is some food for thought, thanks. I'm just starting out researching surgery so I'm not ready to leave with his initial reaction; as others have responded, maybe he's just worried it's dangerous or that I would leave him at some point. I'm going to get fully prepared with pros and cons on each main surgery then discuss it with him including the changes that can happen, so we're in it together or we're not. I'll be back here often to ask more questions I'm sure, since this is the honestly the best place I found for people sharing ideas and experiences, thank you.